i don't get love?

[hopeforthebest]

Okay so i just need some outside opinions on my current situation due to the fact that i can't make any sense of it. So me and my ex-gf were together for over a year and we just recently broke up. She was an amazing gf in the beginning (aren't they all?). But I saw signs of jealousy in the beginning that was cute at the time due me thinking it wouldn't develop into anything more than that. So i guess at the 6 to 8 month point of our relationship, her jealousy skyrocketed and she became very insecure of my past relationships to the point where we would argue everyday. I was basically her first everything and she felt as if she didn't mean as much to me as my past relations. So after about 3 to 4 months of arguing about my past, she started drifting apart from our relationship as it took a toll on her mental state. She stopped caring about my past which led to her to stop caring about me. We finally called it quits two weeks ago and I'm coming to terms with the fact that maybe she was too unstable mentally to be with even though i would have done anything and more to be with her. So tonight she tells me the reasoning for her jealousy is that she was so fascinated with love that she tricked herself into loving me. Now that's where I don't understand this situation. How can jealousy derive from love? especially to the extreme? and when i say extreme, i mean it was really bad how jealous she got. She tells me that she'll never be crazy like she was with me to anyone else and she had no idea she could ever even be that way. But can someone be jealous from tricking yourself that you were in love? and if so, can one just easily trick them-self that they were never in love/loving that person to begin with? I just don't understand how the jealousy was that extreme and a simple explanation is that of "hey, i tricked myself into being in love with you and that's why i was insane". Wouldn't it be more logical is that you were insane because of how in love you were? i just don't get it.

Sorry about all the questions, my mind is racing due to this just happening.

[de1337ed]

why are you asking us? it seems like you've already made up your mind that she's mentally unstable. as long as you have a mindset like that you'll have a very narrow look at this whole situation.

[hopeforthebest]

i just wanted outside opinions, that is all.

[coma]

You're good to go.

[3wotkris]

So tonight she tells me the reasoning for her jealousy is that she was so fascinated with love that she tricked herself into loving me.[/quote]

Your ex sounds like a real life version of Twilight

And when asking how jealousy can derive from love, well that is the primary cause of jealousy - feeling so strongly about someone that the thought of them being involved with someone else in any way leads to insecurities.

[hopeforthebest]

and the funny thing is, she loves twilight haha

[Deadbolt23]

wall of text.

[zachff]

wall of text.
His enter key must be broken.

[CheckeredFloors]

and the funny thing is, she loves twilight haha

That isn't a funny thing at all

[bencoles]

Sounds like a keeper.

[kbi the crowing]

i just wanted outside opinions, that is all.

My opinion is to put the whole situation past you. Sounds like you were both at an immature point in your lives and your ex also sounds insecure. So yeah, I'd say move on and find someone more mature next time.

[SLoT]

You're ex is what most would call a "Grade A Psycho" be glad she's gone. She's crazy, and confusing you into thinking some half brained theory may be interesting enough to even entertain for even a minute. "I'll never be like that with anyone else." and "I tricked myself into falling in love." These are two perfect examples. First, she's saying that she's grown up, and following that with an excuse to cover her crazy. Just the sentence "I tricked myself..." is a sign of mental illness, and you shouldn't think she's anything but a crazy jealous snatchface who's going say even crazier things to the next sucker.

Edit: Basically, she's making excuses for herself. She knows she's a crazy psycho, but excuses help her deal with the fact that she was so jealous she lost someone she truly did love. It hurts to finally realize you're a wackjob. It hurt me when I first found out, but now... I'm okay with it.

[Jennurna Gray]

You're looking in all the wrong places. In fact, if a cop saw you lurkin outside of that elementary school...

[mymusicismylife]

Sounds pretty typical. You had a girlfriend who was jealous and insecure, and after you broke up she tried to convince herself that what happened was something else entirely.

But can someone be jealous from tricking yourself that you were in love? and if so, can one just easily trick them-self that they were never in love/loving that person to begin with?

Yes. You became her world, and when you split she tried to convince herself she never liked you much to begin with. Very normal.

[terror_91]

nsCXZczTQXo

[Kassie09]

jealousy and love are not conflicting emotions. she probably did love you, which is why she was jealous. I don't think she's really being that psycho, she just sounds insecure and like she needs to grow up.

[hopeforthebest]

You're looking in all the wrong places. In fact, if a cop saw you lurkin outside of that elementary school...

relax, i would never come to your school.

[hopeforthebest]

wall of text.

sorry about that, i wasn't really concerned with my enter key at the time.

[Jennurna Gray]

relax, i would never come to your school.
I love how you insult me when I'm taking your side. I wasn't calling you a pedophile, that would be completely out of context. I was calling your psycho ex immature.

[Manicapathy]

and the funny thing is, she loves twilight haha

That's the first red flag. But yea, she was just WAY too insecure. Best to just let it go and hope for the best for both of you.

[bung]

Yeah, not reading that.

Anyway, love is a trick the brain plays on us to get humans to make more babies and care for their offspring.

[drevans18]

so i know i just commented on the "i seriously love women" thread, but lets be real here. while girls are awesome, they are also psycho. now, the girl i dated for over a year never said she 'tricked' herself into loving me, she just did a lot then broke up with me. logical? nope. cool. girls are psycho, just kill her.

[aimee<3]

jealousy and love are not conflicting emotions. she probably did love you, which is why she was jealous. I don't think she's really being that psycho, she just sounds insecure and like she needs to grow up.

This^^

I agree.

[Scrandon]

Yeah, not reading that.

Anyway, love is a trick the brain plays on us to get humans to make more babies and care for their offspring.

You are a horrible human being.

[Yellowcard2006]

What is love?

[bung]

You are a horrible human being.

I imagine your understanding of love is far more profound.

[<*)))><]

You won't get no love without the glove.

[The Indigo]

tl;dr

[12!21fightchoke]

yea ......... did not read.

but with regards to the title: i don't believe in love. i actually think its a pathetic excuse girls use to justify the dumb actions they've done over a guy.

[blinkme]

It sounds insensitive, but forget about her and move on. If she can fall out of love that quickly, she's not worth worrying about.

[schaft]

What is love?
Baby, don't hurt me.

[hopeforthebest]

I love how you insult me when I'm taking your side. I wasn't calling you a pedophile, that would be completely out of context. I was calling your psycho ex immature.

whoops, i'm sorry haha :wave:

[hopeforthebest]

thanks to everyone who posted in this thread

[Roboman]

yea ......... did not read.

but with regards to the title: i don't believe in love. i actually think its a pathetic excuse girls use to justify the dumb actions they've done over a guy.

....because only girls can love?

[anthonydarko]

Sounds like she's highly insecure with herself or she's just nuts, it's hard to tell really.

[Jennurna Gray]

whoops, i'm sorry haha :wave:
Ha, no problem. :wave:

[12!21fightchoke]

....because only girls can love?

... what?

[Roboman]

... what?

You said that love is just something that girls make up, but not only girls can love people. For example, I love my girlfriend. Is that something made up too?

[holybatmon]

Love...prolonged infatuation which then becomes comradeship more than anything.