Sexual Mishaps

[Fullblast 2.0]

Post any stories that you have.

Go.

[phil19]

i stuck it in the wrong hole one time

[bung]

I once farted (quite loudly) right before the fucking commenced, and she pretended not to notice. That's the best I got.

On second thought, that's more along the lines of a gastro-intestinal mishap. :shrug:

[kbi the crowing]

One time I was giving my girlfriend head (more vigorously than usual) and I'm not sure what exactly happened but I think I went to pull away and spit on her, however at the same time she pulled my head right back down resulting in me giving her vagina a raspberry.

[SouthernCross40]

i stuck it in the wrong hole one time

zIyeNRbbKBw

[Hamlet]

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of The Sixth Sense, I jizzed in my pants.

[Ryan Rumsey]

Right before I lost my virginity she pulled on my pants while I was laying down and went falling to the floor.

It was like a scene to some terrible comedy movie.

[spiffa0]

I didn't have a condom so I went and stole one from my roommate. Little did I know it was one of those that numbs you. So I wasn't able to keep it up and that lead to an awkward moment and she left.

Nothing that crazy but really embarrassing

[AP_Punk]

cramps

[roughroads]

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of The Sixth Sense, I jizzed in my pants.

Spoilers much?!?

[SincerelyMe]

I've witnessed some sexual mishaps. That's the closest I've ever been to really experiencing one.

[samsara]

Ha nothing sexual just a bunch of awkward making out mishaps.

[Avalanche1]

zIyeNRbbKBw

Damn, I was gonna post this. Love that video haha.

[Derka Derka]

I've stubbed it before, not a fun time.

[seegeewhy]

One time I zipped up my zipper before I was done peeing

[SouthernCross40]

Damn, I was gonna post this. Love that video haha.

I actually saw it for the first time on here, maybe you posted it? haha

[Star Slight]

The first time I did it the condom broke. That was fun.

[Whalejaw]

One time when getting a BJ from my ex she claims that she inhaled funny or something and when I came my load went up her nose.

Other than the occasional person walking in on me I can't think of anything else funny.

[White]

Does being caught masturbating count as a sexual mishap? Because if so, then my sex life is as misadventurous as they come, let me tell you! Haha!





:-(

[tourdefranz]

Someone once said something so out of color and out of the situation that I started laughing and said "Huh" pretty loudly and it completely ruined the mood.

It was "Oh Alex you fuck so good," and I wasn't even about to fuck her.

No names posted to protect those involved.

[Pudge Halter]

One time I zipped up my zipper before I was done peeing

I did that while pooping, once.

[barkingincision]

I've stubbed it before, not a fun time.
please tell me that's who i think it is in yr avatar

[ayerock]

I've witnessed some sexual mishaps. That's the closest I've ever been to really experiencing one.

Voyeur?

[Derka Derka]

please tell me that's who i think it is in yr avatar

cedric bixler zavala?

[Deadbolt23]

Can't think of anything. I had this conversation with a friend once and he told me that he fell off the bed 4 times during sex once.

[Jennurna Gray]

One time I zipped up my zipper before I was done peeing
Is peeing sexual to you?
Can't think of anything. I had this conversation with a friend once and he told me that he fell off the bed 4 times during sex once.
Bigger bed?

[Deadbolt23]

Is peeing sexual to you?

Bigger bed?

My first thought as well. He is a pretty big guy to be fair.

[3wotkris]

Can't say I have anything too bad but one time in a room of about 8 people while everyone else was passed out/asleep, we kept quiet really well until she suddenly felt the need to dig her nails right into my arm and 'slip'. I let out a little yelp and three people woke up...

One of my best friends lost his virginity a couple of months ago and the next day he showed me the scars. His girlfriend is brutal.

[SincerelyMe]

Voyeur?

No.

[Manicapathy]

One of my best friends lost his virginity a couple of months ago and the next day he showed me the scars. His girlfriend is brutal.

Someone get this guy a medal, he's a trooper.

[blinkme]

my ex would occasionally lose control of her bowel movements when she came.

[DanTGD]

my ex would occasionally lose control of her bowel movements when she came.

/thread

[mymusicismylife]

When my ex was giving me a bj she stopped for a second and my roommate's dog came over and licked it.

[thesollopsist]

my ex would occasionally lose control of her bowel movements when she came.
That is the single most vile thing I think I have ever read.

[blinkme]

That is the single most vile thing I think I have ever read.

yep.

[SingledOut]

When my ex was giving me a bj she stopped for a second and my roommate's dog came over and licked it.

only in michigan..

[takeiteasy_]

When my ex was giving me a bj she stopped for a second and my roommate's dog came over and licked it.

hahahahaha man's best friend.

[takeiteasy_]

a few months ago i was really drunk and peed on my boyfriend a little bit when he was down there. oops

[AP_Punk]

a few months ago i was really drunk and peed on my boyfriend a little bit when he was down there. oops

:appl:

[deFobbed14yrs]

My ex couldn't get it up b/c he was "nervous", so that was just awkward.Funny b/c he called his junk "the general". Guess generals don't know how to salute.

[applesandcyanid]

No.

You sure?

[applesandcyanid]

my ex would occasionally lose control of her bowel movements when she came.

LUCKY.

I had an ex with a birthmark on her vag so whenever I'd go down on her it looked like a little bug was staring at me.

[SingledOut]

LUCKY.

I had an ex with a birthmark on her vag so whenever I'd go down on her it looked like a little bug was staring at me.

I'm at work and literally just laughed so hard reading that hahah, thank you.

[aimee<3]

Ha nothing sexual just a bunch of awkward making out mishaps.

Same here I hate those haha

[ari telescope]

Does being caught masturbating count as a sexual mishap? Because if so, then my sex life is as misadventurous as they come, let me tell you! Haha!



:-(
This is going to sound so weird, but I kinda want to know.

[Star Slight]

One time Rick James kidnapped me for 6 days and forced me to perform sexual favors on him. Oh and he burnt me with a crack pipe repeatedly during his coke binge.

And then he only went to jail for two years.

[aimee<3]

One time Rick James kidnapped me for 6 days and forced me to perform sexual favors on him. Oh and he burnt me with a crack pipe repeatedly during his coke binge.

And then he only went to jail for two years.

Hmm. Interesting.

[Smash Adams]

I met some guy at a party, and ended up going to his house... Mid-thrust, he started laughing manically and yelled "I am fucking an alien princess! I am fucking an alien princess!" I, far too sober, immediately stopped, and then had to listen to him say, with wide eyes: "your vagina looks like the fridge scene in Ghostbusters." I fell asleep and woke up in the morning to him eating a whole key lime pie in bed. Not even looking over at me, he said: "you can't have any." I walked home.
http://jezebel.com/5544903/the-10-worst-sex-stories-weve-ever-heard

[<*)))><]

I was once started hooking up with my girlfriend then friend came in the room and was like" why are you guys fucking in my room, you may proceed".

[popdisaster00]

i stuck it in the wrong hole one time
Who's to say which whole is wrong?

[takeiteasy_]

I also got shot in the eye once by said boyfriend. I guess he was getting me back.

:shiftyeyes:

[aimee<3]

I was once started hooking up with my girlfriend then my came in the room and was like" why are you guys fucking in my room, you may proceed".

I think your missing a word.

[<*)))><]

I think your missing a word.
I blame using a computer while I was in the bathroom.

[bung]

I also got shot in the eye once by said boyfriend. I guess he was getting me back.

pwned.

[takeiteasy_]

pwned.

Yup. I guess some guys wouldn't consider that to be a mishap.

[aimee<3]

I blame using a computer while I was in the bathroom.

Nice.

[SincerelyMe]

You sure?

Positive.

[reesa]

a friend once told me one of their mishaps and he said they fucked so hard the bed actually broke. he said it just collapsed while they were having sex. i lol'd.

[Laural666]

Lastnight me and my boyfriend went out to the lake, and we did it in the back of his car, and when we were done he thought the window was rolled down but it wasn't and he threw the condom at the window and cum went all over the window out of the condom and and all over the door, and the passenger seat and he cleaned it with my hoody, it wasn't very pleasant, but i guess that's not really a sexual mishap.

[bung]

Lastnight me and my boyfriend went out to the lake, and we did it in the back of his car, and when we were done he thought the window was rolled down but it wasn't and he threw the condom at the window and cum went all over the window out of the condom and and all over the door, and the passenger seat and he cleaned it with my hoody, it wasn't very pleasant, but i guess that's not really a sexual mishap.

I can never resist an easy joke, so sorry in advance.

But I think the sexual mishap here is that someone had sex with you.

[Smash Adams]

Lastnight me and my boyfriend went out to the lake, and we did it in the back of his car, and when we were done he thought the window was rolled down but it wasn't and he threw the condom at the window and cum went all over the window out of the condom and and all over the door, and the passenger seat and he cleaned it with my hoody, it wasn't very pleasant, but i guess that's not really a sexual mishap.
If you ever wear that cum rag hoodie again I will judge you forever

[Laural666]

I can never resist an easy joke, so sorry in advance.

But I think the sexual mishap here is that someone had sex with you.
Your not even funny, and your obviously not getting any.
If you ever wear that cum rag hoodie again I will judge you forever
What if i wash it? Haha.

[bung]

Your not even funny, and your obviously not getting any.

Sadly, this is currently true.

But I think the greater problem is that your not intelligent and your never going to be.

[Smash Adams]

Your not even funny, and your obviously not getting any.

What if i wash it? Haha.
Then you'll get semen all over your washing machine duh

[Star Slight]

Sadly, this is currently true.

But I think the greater problem is that your not intelligent and your never going to be.

muahahaha

[barkingincision]

cedric bixler zavala?
yesss

[Jennurna Gray]

my ex would occasionally lose control of her bowel movements when she came.
You say occasionally like it's happened more than once. After this, you did it again? :hitself:

[The_Blackout94]

muahahaha

I'm glad I'm not the only one that noticed that.

[bung]

muahahaha

I'm glad I'm not the only one that noticed that.

Jesus, how many times are idiots going to make me post this picture.

http://www.neg9.com/debunk/thats_the_joke.jpg

[Star Slight]

Jesus, how many times are idiots going to make me post this pictures.

http://www.neg9.com/debunk/thats_the_joke.jpg

No, yeah, I got it. The muhahahha was showing how funny it was that a person pretends to be dumb by using you're incorrectly.


Although I thoroughly enjoy that picture.

[duhpunk]

cramps

ditto

[bung]

No, yeah, I got it. The muhahahha was showing how funny it was that a person pretends to be dumb by using you're incorrectly.


Although I thoroughly enjoy that picture.

Okay, you're a good man. The other guy obviously didn't get it.

[Laural666]

Sadly, this is currently true.

But I think the greater problem is that your not intelligent and your never going to be.
Wow, that must be why i got commended on all of my end of the year tests, because i am not intelligent.

Then you'll get semen all over your washing machine duh
Oh shit, your right.
That's smart, i'm throwing it away. Haha.

[bung]

Wow, that must be why i got commended on all of my end of the year tests, because i am not intelligent.

It doesn't count when you blow all your teachers.

[Laural666]

It doesn't count when you blow all your teachers.
That's really fucking nasty.
I might like older men, but not that old.

Stop trying to make yourself look cool.

[bung]

That's really fucking nasty.
I might like older men, but not that old.

Stop trying to make yourself look cool.

I don't need to act cool. It all comes naturally, baby.

[Laural666]

I don't need to act cool. It all comes naturally, baby.
Don't call me baby.

Bye bye.

[Toothache]

i was seeing this girl kalee and one time we were in her room hookin up. she assured me she was not on her period anymore so i decided to start fingering her. little did i know what lay beneath. at one point i pulled my fingers out and looked and saw that they were covered with blood. she was mortified and so was i. total moment killer. then, a week later, im back at her house. we had recovered from the previous mishap and we start hooking up again in her room. for some reason we drifted towards her big personal bathroom. the lights were off but the door into her room was open and i had her propped up on the counter. she was half naked and my pants were at my ankles when i her someone go "ahem!". her mom is standing there. she says "i think its time for you to leave". so im like yeah. on my way out the front door, mommy says "are you 18?". at the time i was 17 so i said no. and she goes "youre lucky" (kalee was 16). after that me and kalee never really hung out again save for once or twice.

[imtellingseb]

my ex would occasionally lose control of her bowel movements when she came.

we have a winner!

[StephenYoung]

Oh shit, your right.
That's smart, i'm throwing it away. Haha.

You won't get cum in your washer...

Just like you don't get blood all over your washer.

Unless this was a joke...

[Gumbyjag]

One time my girlfriend and i were having sex in my car. I knew she was on her period, but we went on with it anyway. My car is cramped so i just had her sit on me. Afterwards I turned the light on and saw a massive blood stain on my shirt.

Another time, same girl, we were having sex on my floor and somehow we lost the condom. Knowing I had it on and looking everywhere for it, it meant one thing: stuck inside of her. After her being upset and not wanting to go to the hospital, we took the obvious option: I pulled it out of her. Yes I had to reach pretty far and she had to have a leg up for me to do so.

Other than that, cramps.

[argg_xo]

we have a winner!

your avatar is a winner!

[Bi11 Lumburgh]

me and my ex were goin to town, I was kinda laying off my beg with just my mid back across the edge of the bed and she was on top of me, I pulled my groin, BAD, I practically threw her off me, we tried to go back at it but I was out of commission, was limping around for a few days, twas interesting explaining that to my boss/coworkers/friends etc.

another story, not really "sexual" but funny nonetheless,
me and a couple buddies were helping another buddy move stuff out of his storage place to his new house, when we get to his bed set, and the one guy picks up the headboard, notices a white mark on it, not thinking, he starts picking at it, licks his finger and cleaned it off, well, it was my buddies cum stain, once we realized what he was doing, we all burst out in laughter, until it finally clicked in my buddies head what exactly he was doing, he still hasn't lived that one down, and yes, the guys whose stuff we were moving was my buddies older bro

[.invisible ink.]

http://jezebel.com/5544903/the-10-worst-sex-stories-weve-ever-heard

damn Ian, you beat me to it. I was reading that today at work and was thinking about posting it here. It's funny, my work doesn't block Jezebel but there's no way I can get on ap from there, go figure.

[blinkme]

You say occasionally like it's happened more than once. After this, you did it again? :hitself:

a lady deserves to feel good.

[3wotkris]

Someone get this guy a medal, he's a trooper.

He still has the scars now, they're gonna be like a lasting reminder of the worst first time in history.

[PandaBear!]

my ex would occasionally lose control of her bowel movements when she came.


holy fuck !

tell me, how embarassing is the moment when you both realise what has happened? This is literally the most embarrasing think i can think of happening out of al possible happenings, both sexual and otherwise. Poor you. Poor her especially.

One time, me and my Panda buddies stopped fucking our ho's 'cause they were annoying and we were, well, lazy. Now our 'clique' is dying out :-(
Let this be a lesson humans: Sex Saves Species'

[phil19]

Who's to say which whole is wrong?

the girl

[.invisible ink.]

a lady deserves to feel good.

she must have been smoking hot to have shit on you and you still come back for more. either she's the hottest girl on earth or you were desperate because that, my friend, takes a hell of a lot of something to get over. i don't think i could look the shitter in the eye again let alone fuck them if that ever happened to me. that being said, i hope it never does.

[PandaBear!]

she must have been smoking hot to have shit on you and you still come back for more. either she's the hottest girl on earth or you were desperate because that, my friend, takes a hell of a lot of something to get over. i don't think i could look the shitter in the eye again let alone fuck them if that ever happened to me. that being said, i hope it never does.

this guy kinda deserves props though - he literally fucked the shit out of her. !!!!

[Stereo Mike]

last week, i was in bed with a girl and my friend was on the floor on an airbed with her friend. everything was going swimmingly until her friend jumps up in disgust and runs to the bathroom. the girl i was with runs off to see what's up and i turn on the light to find my friend stood there with blood all over his stomach and face.

after i'd finished laughing, i asked him what had happened, expecting some routine period related incident. turns out she'd snapped his banjo string whilst sucking him off and caught a face full of the old crimson. i went to the bathroom to check her out and she was literally covered in blood almost crying.

after i'd finished laughing, i proceeded to attempt to clean all the blood off the sheets and floor as my friend was too preoccupied with his ruined cock to do it.

probably not that out of the ordinary, but i'll never forget cleaning my friends dick blood off my hands.

[.invisible ink.]

last week, i was in bed with a girl and my friend was on the floor on an airbed with her friend. everything was going swimmingly until her friend jumps up in disgust and runs to the bathroom. the girl i was with runs off to see what's up and i turn on the light to find my friend stood there with blood all over his stomach and face.

after i'd finished laughing, i asked him what had happened, expecting some routine period related incident. turns out she'd snapped his banjo string whilst sucking him off and caught a face full of the old crimson. i went to the bathroom to check her out and she was literally covered in blood almost crying.

after i'd finished laughing, i proceeded to attempt to clean all the blood off the sheets and floor as my friend was too preoccupied with his ruined cock to do it.

probably not that out of the ordinary, but i'll never forget cleaning my friends dick blood off my hands.

she did what? what is that and why have i never heard that could happen before? this thread is scaring me.

[Bi11 Lumburgh]

last week, i was in bed with a girl and my friend was on the floor on an airbed with her friend. everything was going swimmingly until her friend jumps up in disgust and runs to the bathroom. the girl i was with runs off to see what's up and i turn on the light to find my friend stood there with blood all over his stomach and face.

after i'd finished laughing, i asked him what had happened, expecting some routine period related incident. turns out she'd snapped his banjo string whilst sucking him off and caught a face full of the old crimson. i went to the bathroom to check her out and she was literally covered in blood almost crying.

after i'd finished laughing, i proceeded to attempt to clean all the blood off the sheets and floor as my friend was too preoccupied with his ruined cock to do it.

probably not that out of the ordinary, but i'll never forget cleaning my friends dick blood off my hands.

I may sound retarded, but I do not understand that expression at all

[deFobbed14yrs]

last week, i was in bed with a girl and my friend was on the floor on an airbed with her friend. everything was going swimmingly until her friend jumps up in disgust and runs to the bathroom. the girl i was with runs off to see what's up and i turn on the light to find my friend stood there with blood all over his stomach and face.

after i'd finished laughing, i asked him what had happened, expecting some routine period related incident. turns out she'd snapped his banjo string whilst sucking him off and caught a face full of the old crimson. i went to the bathroom to check her out and she was literally covered in blood almost crying.

after i'd finished laughing, i proceeded to attempt to clean all the blood off the sheets and floor as my friend was too preoccupied with his ruined cock to do it.

probably not that out of the ordinary, but i'll never forget cleaning my friends dick blood off my hands.

that's worse than the guy who got shit on by his GF. :yuk:

[Bi11 Lumburgh]

she did what? what is that and why have i never heard that could happen before? this thread is scaring me.

haha well at least I'm in good company here

[atticus18244fss]

http://jezebel.com/5544903/the-10-worst-sex-stories-weve-ever-heard
Ha saw this article the other day. All pretty funny.

[Jennurna Gray]

a lady deserves to feel good.
Not if she shits on her boyfriends during sex. That's disgusting. She needs to know that so she can go get that shit fixed.

[Jennurna Gray]

she did what? what is that and why have i never heard that could happen before? this thread is scaring me.
I may sound retarded, but I do not understand that expression at all
Popped the vein, I'm assuming.

[bowl of oranges]

A friend of mine was getting head, and the girl went too far, setting off her gag reflex, and she puked all over his junk.

[aradiantsunrise]

One time I was about to get it on, we were both naked and then she randomly blurts out ''shit! I left the cheese in the car. I need to go get it.''

So she got up, got dressed and went to get the cheese in her car.

[Bi11 Lumburgh]

Popped the vein, I'm assuming.

was she chewing on the fucking thing? that cannot be an easy feat, and I certainly didn't think it was common enough for there to be an expression for it

[.invisible ink.]

Not if she shits on her boyfriends during sex. That's disgusting. She needs to know that so she can go get that shit fixed.

how does she get it fixed? super-gluing her butt cheeks together doesn't seem like an effective method. i don't think there's such a thing as rectal kegel exercises but then again, this isn't my area of expertise.

Popped the vein, I'm assuming.

i can't even imagine how one would do that without even trying. she should be forced to carry a warning sign that forbids her from ever coming near another cock for the rest of her life. she pretty much proved she's incompetent around a penis.

[Jennurna Gray]

One time I was about to get it on, we were both naked and then she randomly blurts out ''shit! I left the cheese in the car. I need to go it.''

So she got up, got dressed and went to get the cheese in her car.
:-|
was she chewing on the fucking thing? that cannot be an easy feat, and I certainly didn't think it was common enough for there to be an expression for it
Some girls have sharp teeth. I don't understand why he didn't stop her when it started to hurt, she obviously didn't just bite down and pop the thing.

[aradiantsunrise]

:-|


True story :shrug:

[Charles De Mar]

Got a phone call in the middle of it and my ringtone was Butcher Pete.

34ivDW_BU94

HE'S HACKIN AND WHACKIN AND SMACKIN.

[Echo Park]

I'm taking off her pants in my room and my phone rings. I step out for maybe 3 minutes and when i walk back in I smell something funny. She had puked all over my bedsheets. It was so fucking disgusting. I still think about it and cringe. Apparently she was drinking red wine

[phil19]

I'm taking off her pants in my room and my phone rings. I step out for maybe 3 minutes and when i walk back in I smell something funny. She had puked all over my bedsheets. It was so fucking disgusting. I still think about it and cringe. Apparently she was drinking red wine

i like how the phone call was more important that the girl with no pants on

[SophomoricSlump]

This is one of the few threads where I've read every page, definitely delivered.

[ari telescope]

One time my girlfriend and i were having sex in my car. I knew she was on her period, but we went on with it anyway. My car is cramped so i just had her sit on me. Afterwards I turned the light on and saw a massive blood stain on my shirt.

Another time, same girl, we were having sex on my floor and somehow we lost the condom. Knowing I had it on and looking everywhere for it, it meant one thing: stuck inside of her. After her being upset and not wanting to go to the hospital, we took the obvious option: I pulled it out of her. Yes I had to reach pretty far and she had to have a leg up for me to do so.

Other than that, cramps.
Both of those are really fucking gross. You're kind of a fucked up dude.

[Fullblast 2.0]

Here is my story:

I was banging my girlfriend and I pulled out to blow my load on her chest and right at that moment her mom walked in and I couldn't help but keep going.

[kbi the crowing]

my ex would occasionally lose control of her bowel movements when she came.

Female blumpkin?

When my ex was giving me a bj she stopped for a second and my roommate's dog came over and licked it.

That's almost too perfect to seem real.

http://jezebel.com/5544903/the-10-worst-sex-stories-weve-ever-heard

Good for him; key lime pie is meant to be enjoyed in solitude.

One time I was about to get it on, we were both naked and then she randomly blurts out ''shit! I left the cheese in the car. I need to go it.''

So she got up, got dressed and went to get the cheese in her car.

Hahahahaha holy fuck dude.

What kind of cheese was it? Did you guys still have sex?

Here is my story:

I was banging my girlfriend and I pulled out to blow my load on her chest and right at that moment her mom walked in and I couldn't help but keep going.

You're a fucking trooper dude. Respect.



Also, I don't understand why everyone thinks period blood is the most vile thing in the world.

[Fullblast 2.0]

holy fuck !

tell me, how embarassing is the moment when you both realise what has happened? This is literally the most embarrasing think i can think of happening out of al possible happenings, both sexual and otherwise. Poor you. Poor her especially.

One time, me and my Panda buddies stopped fucking our ho's 'cause they were annoying and we were, well, lazy. Now our 'clique' is dying out :-(
Let this be a lesson humans: Sex Saves Species'
What's with the panda thing dude.

[Carolina.Alex]

Was having sex with this girl, and her brother came home. I ended up running down the street naked to my friends house while he chased me with a baseball bat.
Good times.

[Fullblast 2.0]

Lastnight me and my boyfriend went out to the lake, and we did it in the back of his car, and when we were done he thought the window was rolled down but it wasn't and he threw the condom at the window and cum went all over the window out of the condom and and all over the door, and the passenger seat and he cleaned it with my hoody, it wasn't very pleasant, but i guess that's not really a sexual mishap.
LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are a virgin!

[Avalanche1]

Female blumpkin?.

Oh god...

[ari telescope]

Here is my story:

I was banging my girlfriend and I pulled out to blow my load on her chest and right at that moment her mom walked in and I couldn't help but keep going.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaha

[de1337ed]

my ex told me about this guy who she had dated before and apparently him and this other girl were going at it and she pooped herself. he kept going. i'm utterly disgusted by this.

[Fullblast 2.0]

Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaha
Let's just say her mom doesn't invite me over for breakfast anymore.

[ari telescope]

Female blumpkin?



That's almost too perfect to seem real.



Good for him; key lime pie is meant to be enjoyed in solitude.



Hahahahaha holy fuck dude.

What kind of cheese was it? Did you guys still have sex?



You're a fucking trooper dude. Respect.



Also, I don't understand why everyone thinks period blood is the most vile thing in the world.

Well first off, it's not just blood - there's discraded pieces of uterus and an egg somewhere in there. Just rubbing all over your penis and just all over inside and out of her. Just.. mushing together like it's lube. Pieces going everywhere. Secondly, it's blood. Even if like, you got your leg sliced off and you squeeze that blood all over her vag before going in. Still gross and weird.

[aradiantsunrise]

Hahahahaha holy fuck dude.

What kind of cheese was it? Did you guys still have sex?

.
It was the american cheese slices that are wrapped in plastic. For burgers and stuff. Yeah, like 5 minutes later...5 loooong minutes. I was just sitting in her room waiting for her to come back while listening to the ''sexy'' songs playlist that was playing on her iPod station and staring at all her stuffed animals, haha.

[ari telescope]

It was the american cheese slices that are wrapped in plastic. For burgers and stuff. Yeah, like 5 minutes later...5 loooong minutes. I was just sitting in her room waiting for her to come back while listening to the ''sexy'' songs playlist that was playing on her iPod station and staring at all her stuffed animals, haha.

Hahaha it's not even like stinky cheese.

[showmethefever]

I still don't understand what happened with the banjo string thing.

[kbi the crowing]

It was the american cheese slices that are wrapped in plastic. For burgers and stuff. Yeah, like 5 minutes later...5 loooong minutes. I was just sitting in her room waiting for her to come back while listening to the ''sexy'' songs playlist that was playing on her iPod station and staring at all her stuffed animals, haha.


Haha I can feel the awkwardness of that moment. It's ok, that kind of moment has happened to me, too :-)

& that wasn't even good enough cheese to try and save. Needs to be extra sharp cheddar at least.

Well first off, it's not just blood - there's discraded pieces of uterus and an egg somewhere in there. Just rubbing all over your penis and just all over inside and out of her. Just.. mushing together like it's lube. Pieces going everywhere. Secondly, it's blood. Even if like, you got your leg sliced off and you squeeze that blood all over her vag before going in. Still gross and weird.

Ok, so you've described what period blood is, but you haven't given me a reason as to why you find it gross and weird.

[aradiantsunrise]

Hahaha it's not even like stinky cheese.
Haha, maybe she was afraid it would melt from the heat or something.

Haha I can feel the awkwardness of that moment. It's ok, that kind of moment has happened to me, too :-)

& that wasn't even good enough cheese to try and save. Needs to be extra sharp cheddar at least.


Yeah, and they were all pointed towards the bed too so it was like ehhhhhhh.

I know right? Sharp cheddar owns all cheeses. I do like swiss a lot though.

[kbi the crowing]

Yeah, and they were all pointed towards the bed too so it was like ehhhhhhh.

I know right? Sharp cheddar owns all cheeses. I do like swiss a lot though.

Yeah dude, stuffed animals can really be the worst at times.

Super sharp cheddar, smoked gouda, cranberry cheese and caramel cheese are my favorites. Fuck, now I'm hungry.

[showmethefever]

I'm a fan of provolone. Fucking delicious on turkey sandwiches.

[samsara]

I'm a fan of provolone. Fucking delicious on turkey sandwiches.
Samesis

[kbi the crowing]

I'm a fan of provolone. Fucking delicious on turkey sandwiches.

Hell yes it is. Provolone is easily my favorite sandwich cheese.

[kbi the crowing]

Samesis

I feel happy knowing I'm not the only one who says that haha

[samsara]

I feel happy knowing I'm not the only one who says that haha

ha high five!

[showmethefever]

Yeah, nothing like getting a french roll (or whatever the fuck it's called, my mom buys it), some cold turkey and maybe some lettuce or bacon. Although, I'm not a huge lettuce fan and I usually take it off of my sandwiches. I like the taste of it in the meat and bread, but I'm not huge on the texture or whatever. Basically, I like the concept of it more than I actually like it.

[kbi the crowing]

ha high five!

:highfive:

[samsara]

:highfive:

I love that smilie

[ari telescope]

Ok, so you've described what period blood is, but you haven't given me a reason as to why you find it gross and weird.
Really? Really? You're serious

[Charles De Mar]

Man up. It relieves cramps.

[aradiantsunrise]

Yeah dude, stuffed animals can really be the worst at times.

Super sharp cheddar, smoked gouda, cranberry cheese and caramel cheese are my favorites. Fuck, now I'm hungry.
Never had cranberry or caramel cheese before. They have me intrigued.

[kbi the crowing]

Really? Really? You're serious

Yeah really. I mean I'm not gonna go and bathe in it but I don't see what's so gross about doing the same sexual acts with a woman while she is on her period if you would do them while she wasn't.

I can understand oral being iffy and cleaning up would be a no brainer, but yeah, iunno. Doesn't seem that odd to me. Just looking for perspective.

[kbi the crowing]

Never had cranberry or caramel cheese before. They have me intrigued.

Caramel cheese is a mixture of cow and goat cheese and has a strong earthy taste with a hint of sweetness. It's definitely not for everyone and is meant to be eaten in moderation, but I really like it.

& the cranberry cheese is like a cracker spread kind of cheese, but it's not soft like port wine; it actually crumbles. Very delicious also.

[samsara]

Yeah really. I mean I'm not gonna go and bathe in it but I don't see what's so gross about doing the same sexual acts with a woman while she is on her period if you would do them while she wasn't.

I can understand oral being iffy and cleaning up would be a no brainer, but yeah, iunno. Doesn't seem that odd to me. Just looking for perspective.

Different strokes.

[kbi the crowing]

Different strokes.

Oh yeah I'm not trying to say anyone is wrong, I was just looking for another explanation that has more depth that simply "it's gross."

[samsara]

Oh yeah I'm not trying to say anyone is wrong, I was just looking for another explanation that has more depth that simply "it's gross."

yeah people need to stop acting like its the grossest thing in the world.

[ari telescope]

I mean, I guess. I tried my best to explain why it's gross, but I guess I feel like it's so easy to understand that I can't even word it. Different strokes though, mang.

[Fringe]

This is the funniest thread on this site.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

Yeah really. I mean I'm not gonna go and bathe in it but I don't see what's so gross about doing the same sexual acts with a woman while she is on her period if you would do them while she wasn't.

I can understand oral being iffy and cleaning up would be a no brainer, but yeah, iunno. Doesn't seem that odd to me. Just looking for perspective.

It's not odd at all. If someone is afraid to have sex with a girl because she's on her period, they need to mature and not be so sexually repressed.

[SAY WHAT]

you're pretty much a little kid if you won't have sex with a woman on her period. vamp that shit up, bros. if you have never looked like the cover of an andrew wk album post-coitus, you're seriously missing out on a life experience.

[Charles De Mar]

http://i45.tinypic.com/4iyfdw.png
http://i50.tinypic.com/2qwhq2s.png

[punkkid16]

yea fuck condoms btw.
but it gets extremely messy when i pull out :/
once me and my girlfriend were having sex in my moms car and i came all over the passenger seat and then after that she cried because things weren't going to well with our relationship. but yea every time someone sits in the passenger seat in my moms car i kinda laugh to myself. Then later after we broke up we were fighting and we started getting at it and i came on her so there was just like a pile of jizz sitting on her stomach area, so then i had to go to clean it off and then she cried again. also we have had sex on all the couches in my basement and they all have stains so yea same reaction when people sit on those couches. also she gets tight really fast. yea i wouldn't say these are all mishaps but i seem to have a jizzing problem considering i stain everything when we do it not to say she doesn't but it's pretty funny when people find out they are sitting on cum.

[Richard Maxim]

When my ex was giving me a bj she stopped for a second and my roommate's dog came over and licked it.

A whole new meaning to The Formats second record.

[ari telescope]

I don't think 13 year olds should be allowed in this thread.

[Richard Maxim]

It doesn't count when you blow all your teachers.

I'm dying laughing at your posts man.

[mymusicismylife]

I don't think 13 year olds should be allowed in this thread.

Agreed.

[Richard Maxim]

Different strokes.

That's what I told her.


P.S. I'm coining this shit.

[Richard Maxim]

It's not odd at all. If someone is afraid to have sex with a girl because she's on her period, they need to mature and not be so sexually repressed.

I'm guessing in this sentence repressed really means picky cause if it is, fuck chicks. I'll Jack it until my dick skin tears.

[showmethefever]

Yeah really. I mean I'm not gonna go and bathe in it but I don't see what's so gross about doing the same sexual acts with a woman while she is on her period if you would do them while she wasn't.

I can understand oral being iffy and cleaning up would be a no brainer, but yeah, iunno. Doesn't seem that odd to me. Just looking for perspective.
Iffy? I wouldn't stick my dick in there, let alone put my mouth on it. Whatever, if you don't mind, then that's your thing I guess haha.

[ari telescope]

I feel like someone needs to make this topic in the poll forum now

[George-Michael]

yea fuck condoms btw.
but it gets extremely messy when i pull out :/
once me and my girlfriend were having sex in my moms car and i came all over the passenger seat and then after that she cried because things weren't going to well with our relationship. but yea every time someone sits in the passenger seat in my moms car i kinda laugh to myself. Then later after we broke up we were fighting and we started getting at it and i came on her so there was just like a pile of jizz sitting on her stomach area, so then i had to go to clean it off and then she cried again. also we have had sex on all the couches in my basement and they all have stains so yea same reaction when people sit on those couches. also she gets tight really fast. yea i wouldn't say these are all mishaps but i seem to have a jizzing problem considering i stain everything when we do it not to say she doesn't but it's pretty funny when people find out they are sitting on cum.

This made me lol. Such random sentences thrown together.

[saofan_315]

So, one time I was getting head from the girl I happened to be dating at the time. Just as I was about to finish, I head this knock at her door. I'm thinking "holy shit it's her mom/dad, time to hide" and so I pull out. Just as a pull out, my body also decides to finish... and hit her straight in the eye. Shittiest thing about it all? It was just her dog scratching at the door.

[Stereo Mike]

she did what? what is that and why have i never heard that could happen before? this thread is scaring me.

I may sound retarded, but I do not understand that expression at all
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=banjo%20string

that's worse than the guy who got shit on by his GF. :yuk:
it was both horrifying and truly hilarious.

[Alex_Weiland]

accidentally in the ass and he cried.

That's all i got :shrug:

[Alex_Weiland]

Here is my story:

I was banging my girlfriend and I pulled out to blow my load on her chest and right at that moment her mom walked in and I couldn't help but keep going.

AHHHH!!!! That's awesome.

[FabiLBLAHblah]

Man, this thread made my day.

[Alex_Weiland]

One time Rick James kidnapped me for 6 days and forced me to perform sexual favors on him. Oh and he burnt me with a crack pipe repeatedly during his coke binge.

And then he only went to jail for two years.

yawwwwwn

[Star Slight]

yawwwwwn

It'd be a lame joke if I actually made up those events. But Rick James actually did that to a girl.

[Alex_Weiland]

It'd be a lame joke if I actually made up those events. But Rick James actually did that to a girl.


No. It's still pretty lame.


http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2095/2246906043_110ab56df2.jpg

[Star Slight]

accidentally in the ass and he cried.

That's all i got :shrug:

Wait, where else would you put it in him?

[Star Slight]

http://images.damncrows.com/image/fuck-your-couch-*****

Damn racist proof AP

[Alex_Weiland]

my ex would occasionally lose control of her bowel movements when she came.

pics or it didn't happen.

[Alex_Weiland]

Wait, where else would you put it in him?

;)

[Avalanche1]

accidentally in the ass and he cried.

That's all i got :shrug:

wut? did you accidentally miss his mouth and put it in his ass?

[samsara]

wut? did you accidentally miss his mouth and put it in his ass?

I'm so lost.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

I'm guessing in this sentence repressed really means picky cause if it is, fuck chicks. I'll Jack it until my dick skin tears.

I'd try again if I were you.

[Avalanche1]

I'm so lost.

Me too :\

[Star Slight]

Hahaha wait so now not wanting to have period sex means that a person is sexually repressed?

[ari telescope]

I'm so lost.

Seriously, me too.

[ari telescope]

Hahaha wait so now not wanting to have period sex means that a person is sexually repressed?

Hahah right

[Richard Maxim]

I'd try again if I were you.

Thankfully you aren't, now you don't have to involve yourself in such pressing matters.

[cowboychris88]

I once got a girl pregnant

[Kassie09]

when the vagina/ass barrier is accidentally rammed into with the penis

/dies

[Nuns On A Bus]

I once got a girl pregnant

Definitely the most cringe-worthy thing I've read in this thread, yikes

[Stavie Steelo]

Yeah, nothing like getting a french roll (or whatever the fuck it's called, my mom buys it), some cold turkey and maybe some lettuce or bacon. Although, I'm not a huge lettuce fan and I usually take it off of my sandwiches. I like the taste of it in the meat and bread, but I'm not huge on the texture or whatever. Basically, I like the concept of it more than I actually like it.
Hahaha not sure why I found that so funny.

[EasySkankin]

This thread is so dope it's still funny when people talk about sandwiches

[Jennurna Gray]

how does she get it fixed? super-gluing her butt cheeks together doesn't seem like an effective method. i don't think there's such a thing as rectal kegel exercises but then again, this isn't my area of expertise.
lmfao.
True story :shrug:
She sounds weird.
Another time, same girl, we were having sex on my floor and somehow we lost the condom. Knowing I had it on and looking everywhere for it, it meant one thing: stuck inside of her. After her being upset and not wanting to go to the hospital, we took the obvious option: I pulled it out of her. Yes I had to reach pretty far and she had to have a leg up for me to do so.
Vaginas are only 5 inches deep, dude.

[PandaBear!]

once me and my girlfriend were having sex in my moms car and i came all over the passenger seat and then after that she cried because things weren't going to well with our relationship. but yea every time someone sits in the passenger seat in my moms car i kinda laugh to myself. Then later after we broke up we were fighting and we started getting at it and i came on her so there was just like a pile of jizz sitting on her stomach area, so then i had to go to clean it off and then she cried again. also we have had sex on all the couches in my basement and they all have stains so yea same reaction when people sit on those couches. also she gets tight really fast. yea i wouldn't say these are all mishaps but i seem to have a jizzing problem considering i stain everything when we do it not to say she doesn't but it's pretty funny when people find out they are sitting on cum.

So basically this chick would cry every time you boned? That must have been annoying / strangely arousing, amirite?
or is that just how Panda's like it?

[PandaBear!]

Vaginas are only 5 inches deep, dude.

no wonder i have such a tough time pleasuring human females - Panda penises are only 2-3 inches long :-(


:thisissparta:

[MegSo]

when the vagina/ass barrier is accidentally rammed into with the penis

/dies

That's the worst. I mean, if you enjoy kind of waddling for awhile, I guess it's alright.

[showmethefever]

Hahaha not sure why I found that so funny.

It's from Role Models haha. But he's talking about Coke.

[terror_91]

There have been some real decent threads recently but this is easily the best.

[SoCoSquid4]

i was once having sex with my girlfriend at the time...she was on top. she then proceeded to have a seizure while she was still on top. im talking full out convulsive seizure. luckily i got out from under her right away.

[ReignofFiction]

i was once having sex with my girlfriend at the time...she was on top. she then proceeded to have a seizure while she was still on top. im talking full out convulsive seizure. luckily i got out from under her right away.

This beats the guy that fucked the shit out of his girl.

[Gumbyjag]

Both of those are really fucking gross. You're kind of a fucked up dude.

They're called "mishaps" for a reason... :shrug:



you're pretty much a little kid if you won't have sex with a woman on her period. vamp that shit up, bros. if you have never looked like the cover of an andrew wk album post-coitus, you're seriously missing out on a life experience.

haha yes! :goodpost:



Vaginas are only 5 inches deep, dude.

They could be five to seven (http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2067.html) and hey, I'm not used to putting most of my hand up there, she ain't no loosey goosey.

[alix.xo]

Yeah really. I mean I'm not gonna go and bathe in it but I don't see what's so gross about doing the same sexual acts with a woman while she is on her period if you would do them while she wasn't.

I can understand oral being iffy and cleaning up would be a no brainer, but yeah, iunno. Doesn't seem that odd to me. Just looking for perspective.

from my perspective, it's kind of gross. i've been with my current bf for almost two years, and i still get iffy. i mean, it's a very personal and rather awkward thing to share with someone else. if you can get over the awkwardness, i say go for it. but totally be ready for clean up of both parties involved.

[spunkmastaflex]

this thread is pretty damn hilarious. i love the cheese discussion halfway thru this

[aimee<3]

this thread is pretty damn hilarious. i love the cheese discussion halfway thru this

Where? I totally missed that.. lol

[Sic Transit Zeb]

Thankfully you aren't, now you don't have to involve yourself in such pressing matters.

0-2.

[aimee<3]

So, one time I was getting head from the girl I happened to be dating at the time. Just as I was about to finish, I head this knock at her door. I'm thinking "holy shit it's her mom/dad, time to hide" and so I pull out. Just as a pull out, my body also decides to finish... and hit her straight in the eye. Shittiest thing about it all? It was just her dog scratching at the door.

This was funny reading. Thank You. lol

[Star Slight]

0-2.

Hahaha dude, you're acting like having period sex makes you so much more sexually mature than anyone else.

nBelT-Xi1CY&feature=related

[Sic Transit Zeb]

Hahaha dude, you're acting like having period sex makes you so much more sexually mature than anyone else.

nBelT-Xi1CY&feature=related

Haha, I love arrested development so much. Great video.

No, not at all but I do think it's stupid to be so afraid of it.

[Richard Maxim]

0-2.


You liked Daisy enough to make it your avatar, You've suffered enough.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

You liked Daisy enough to make it your avatar, You've suffered enough.

1-2! :-)

That was pretty funny. I'll be honest.

[CstSnow]

nvm way late, haha

[spunkmastaflex]

Where? I totally missed that.. lol

page 9 and 10

[samsara]

nvm way late, haha

Thats exactly what I've been thinking about since last night.

[Richard Maxim]

1-2! :-)

That was pretty funny. I'll be honest.

I'll take the score, you should really get on that "Daisy is amazing" thing you got going.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

I'll take the score, you should really get on that "Daisy is amazing" thing you got going.

I don't find it amazing, I've had that avatar up since they released the album artwork and just haven't changed it.

[Richard Maxim]

I don't find it amazing, I've had that avatar up since they released the album artwork and just haven't changed it.

Get on that chief.

[Jennurna Gray]

no wonder i have such a tough time pleasuring human females - Panda penises are only 2-3 inches long :-(


:thisissparta:
You're either a troll or a mental case. Pick wisely.
They could be five to seven (http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2067.html) and hey, I'm not used to putting most of my hand up there, she ain't no loosey goosey.
Just saying that it's not hard to get. Definitely no need to call an ambulance.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

You're either a troll or a mental case. Pick wisely.

Just saying that it's not hard to get. Definitely no need to call an ambulance.

lol

I'm with that guy, I would feel kind of weird putting my hand up there; however, I'd rather not call the ambulance so let's go diggin!

[Sic Transit Zeb]

Get on that chief.

Eh, I will sometime but don't really care right now. Had my last one for about 2 years.

[PandaBear!]

You're either a troll or a mental case. Pick wisely.


a mental case. slash Panda.........

[Richard Maxim]

Eh, I will sometime but don't really care right now. Had my last one for about 2 years.


I usually just put some Gundam wing avatar but decided to change it up today.

[samsara]

a mental case. slash Panda.........

Pandas are cute.

[PandaBear!]

Pandas are cute.

This is a young me:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/__H1AtrOU8ww/STLRwWAOjCI/AAAAAAAAEoA/nBfUobkp4AA/s400/panda3.jpg

I am a bit older now, and i do have a movie character based on my likeness :

http://plazapics.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/kung_fu_panda.jpg

[Stavie Steelo]

I fucking love that movie

[aradiantsunrise]

She sounds weird.


Just a bit.

[aradiantsunrise]

Caramel cheese is a mixture of cow and goat cheese and has a strong earthy taste with a hint of sweetness. It's definitely not for everyone and is meant to be eaten in moderation, but I really like it.

& the cranberry cheese is like a cracker spread kind of cheese, but it's not soft like port wine; it actually crumbles. Very delicious also.
So it doesn't actually have caramel on it?

Crumbly cheese...not sure how I feel about that one.

[SincerelyMe]

You're either a troll or a mental case. Pick wisely.

Who says you can't be both? you know who I'm talking about

[Jennurna Gray]

lol
I'm with that guy, I would feel kind of weird putting my hand up there; however, I'd rather not call the ambulance so let's go diggin!
Shit, I would just get it out myself. Like I said, not hard. :shrug:
a mental case. slash Panda.........
Please be a good troll. AP is so calm lately.

And by calm, I mean BORING.
Just a bit.
If someone said that to me... I think I'd just leave.
Who says you can't be both? you know who I'm talking about
Didn't even have to think about it.

[PandaBear!]

Please be a good troll. AP is so calm lately.

And by calm, I mean BORING.


what is a troll? (seriously)

i'm just trying to get some cheap laughs from cool people......


by that i mean i am a real, honest, bamboo-eatin' fuzzball

[Jennurna Gray]

what is a troll? (seriously)

i'm just trying to get some cheap laughs from cool people......


by that i mean i am a real, honest, bamboo-eatin' fuzzball
I recognize that humor.

Ohh, lord. Tell me that you're not BryterJonah.

[ari telescope]

You guys are getting really off-topic here. Let's get back to what's most important: What's the deal with the gay thing? We still never found that out.

[Fullblast 2.0]

You guys are getting really off-topic here. Let's get back to what's most important: What's the deal with the gay thing? We still never found that out.
Yes, yes. Please get back on topic.

[Avalanche1]

You guys are getting really off-topic here. Let's get back to what's most important: What's the deal with the gay thing? We still never found that out.

That's what I've been wondering.

[kbi the crowing]

So it doesn't actually have caramel on it?

Crumbly cheese...not sure how I feel about that one.
I'm not sure exactly where the carmel flavor comes from, but it is there.

[ari telescope]

I'm not sure exactly where the carmel flavor comes from, but it is there.
Ew you say carmel. It's caramel.

[kbi the crowing]

Ew you say carmel. It's caramel.
You are correct, my apologies. I was actually thinking about the pronunciation when I first posted about the cheese haha,

[ari telescope]

You are correct, my apologies. I was actually thinking about the pronunciation when I first posted about the cheese haha,
Haha I just realized who I'm quoting. I'm sorry, I hope you don't think I'm like out for you in this thread or something haha.

[kbi the crowing]

Haha I just realized who I'm quoting. I'm sorry, I hope you don't think I'm like out for you in this thread or something haha.

Hahahah nah, I didn't think that at all.
No worries :-)

[Avalanche1]

Ew you say carmel. It's caramel.

I pronounce it carmel. Car-a-mel sounds weird.

[Star Slight]

I'm so lost.

Me too :\

Seriously, me too.

You guys are getting really off-topic here. Let's get back to what's most important: What's the deal with the gay thing? We still never found that out.

Almost positive it was just a slip, possibly a Freudian one.

[mymusicismylife]

This one time, I got hacked and someone posted a nude pic of me on twitter.

[saofan_315]

This one time, I got hacked and someone posted a nude pic of me on twitter.
I'm sure Hayle uses this site...

[mymusicismylife]

I'm sure Hayle uses this site...

She does indeed. I've seen it. Honestly, laughing it off is the way to go.

[ari telescope]

Almost positive it was just a slip, possibly a Freudian one.
What? I'm so stupid.

[Star Slight]

If you're a virgin, it will probably hurt...


What? I'm so stupid.

Haha he meant to write "she" but he forgot the "s".

[ilikesound93]

If you're a virgin, it will probably hurt...

For a second, but then it would be like

DEKC5pyOKFU

[ari telescope]

Haha he meant to write "she" but he forgot the "s".
HAHAHAHAHAHA OH
For a second, but then it would be like

DEKC5pyOKFU
What? No, it wouldn't... you're a virgin, how are you gonna come out all factual like that haha. I think I would know a bit better than you...

[ilikesound93]

HAHAHAHAHAHA OH

What? No, it wouldn't... you're a virgin, how are you gonna come out all factual like that haha. I think I would know a bit better than you...

Okay, true. I just figured it would be a pop and then the pain's over. Wow, I just said that.

[ari telescope]

Okay, true. I just figured it would be a pop and then the pain's over. Wow, I just said that.
Ow it's nothing like that haha. Wait til you're older, your boyfriend ruins your life, and then go back for that 7 1/2 inches after a while of experience. Your body will thank you for not taking it now.

[Avalanche1]

No. It's 100% your call. You should never feel pressured into having sex with anything/one you don't want to.
And you're 16. Not the best age to make the call. Wait a year or two, or find someone you actually like a lot.



And yes, a virgin + 7 1/2 inches = PAIN

lol

[ilikesound93]

Ow it's nothing like that haha. Wait til you're older, your boyfriend ruins your life, and then go back for that 7 1/2 inches after a while of experience. Your body will thank you for not taking it now.

Hahah. I was actually thinking like that too. I get in some stupid 2 year relationship, and then I call him up one night confused and have a nice experience in college.

[saofan_315]

Hahahahaha. That was wonderful.

[ari telescope]

Hahah. I was actually thinking like that too. I get in some stupid 2 year relationship, and then I call him up one night confused and have a nice experience in college.
Seriously, this exact situation works out. Except... use protection. The feeling of revenge is awesome but don't get so caught in the heat of it that you end up paying for it later haha. Other than that, happy world, sex is awesome once your body can do anything!

[ilikesound93]

Seriously, this exact situation works out. Except... use protection. The feeling of revenge is awesome but don't get so caught in the heat of it that you end up paying for it later haha. Other than that, happy world, sex is awesome once your body can do anything!

Oh yeah I will not forget that bit. ever. pregnancy scares are not for me

[ari telescope]

Oh yeah I will not forget that bit. ever. pregnancy scares are not for me
Especially if you're a paranoid kind of girl. I swear in high school like once a month a different girl friend who just lost her virginity was coming to me thinking she might be pregnant. Freakouts are not fun haha.

[bung]

To all ladies here: If you're in a relationship with a guy, get the fuck on birth control. Try shoving a bag into your vagina and see how much the pleasure is reduced.

[worthwaiting]

To all ladies here: If you're in a relationship with a guy, get the fuck on birth control. Try shoving a bag into your vagina and see how much the pleasure is reduced.
I always go on birth control when I'm in a relationship cause I don't like condoms either, but I don't like your attitude. Do you know how many side effects (weight gain, bad skin, headaches, mood swings, irregular bleeding, nausea etc.) birth control can have and you can even die from using them. So that reduced pleasure is not an argument when your gf doesn't want to go on bc.

[anthonydarko]

Once when I was 17, I engaged in a coke fueled orgy with 15 strippers. At some point, I lost my boner and then all the strippers laughed at me. I went home, put on Dashboard Confessional and I cried in the darkness.

[bung]

I always go on birth control when I'm in a relationship cause I don't like condoms either, but I don't like your attitude. Do you know how many side effects (weight gain, bad skin, headaches, mood swings, irregular bleeding, nausea etc.) birth control can have and you can even die from using them. So that reduced pleasure is not an argument when your gf doesn't want to go on bc.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're exaggerating the side-effects. According to this (http://contraception.about.com/od/contraceptionmyths/tp/pillmyths.htm), the pill does not cause weight gain and:

"About 100 million women worldwide use the pill. For many women, their quality of life is better while taking the pill than when not. That's because the pill also provides health benefits, like minimizing PMS symptoms. The pill has been proven as an extremely safe contraceptive."

And:

"The pill may provide health benefits in addition to preventing pregnancy. Sometimes, women may use the pill solely for these advantages. Examples of the pill's health benefits include:

* More regular periods
* One can control the timing of a period
* Stopping ovulation pain
* Reducing menstrual cramps
* Minimizing PMS symptoms
* Lowering the risk of anemia (which can result from having heavy periods)

Additionally, pill use can provide protection against:

* Ectopic pregnancy
* Acne
* Non-cancerous breast growths
* Ovarian cysts and cancer
* Pelvic inflammatory disease
* Osteoporosis
* Excess facial and body hair
* Some types of migraines"

So get to eating those pills, ladies.

[Scrandon]

[Carefully selected propaganda.]

You are a horrible person.

[bung]

You are a horrible person.

Yeah, propaganda from About.com. :hitself:

It's a well-known fact that many women take the pill not to prevent pregnancy, but because it has numerous health benefits.