Ninja Turtles - Michael Bay

[mantipede]

Apparently Platinum Dunes has been given the reigns for the new TMNT movie:

http://www.deadline.com/2010/05/platinum-dunes-steers-turtles-relaunch/

Fuck my life.

[WakingTheMisery]

At least we can expect explosions.

[mantipede]

At least we can expect explosions.

I've been racking my brain trying to think of where they could put the stereotypical Michael Bay explosions in this movie...maybe he'll just blow up New York.

He'll probably make all of the turtles nothing but Italian stereotypes, too. What a cock.

[TSLROCKS]

I'm really not that surprised. Most definitely will be horrible but what does that matter if those studio execs could make a few bucks

[Smash Adams]

So April will now be wearing a yellow sundress from American Apparel with her cleavage exposed? I can go for that

[secretsociety92]

This was inevetible that Michael Bay would do something that hasn't been around for a while and it will likely be crap, however I will see it just because I have to. I am also expecting a lot of manhole covers to be flying around.

[underdawg1119]

:-(

[mantipede]

This was inevetible that Michael Bay would do something that hasn't been around for a while and it will likely be crap, however I will see it just because I have to. I am also expecting a lot of manhole covers to be flying around.

Hasn't been around for a while? The turtles are about as old as Transformers and the horror movies that Platinum Dunes have been doing are about the same age, maybe a few years older.

[Forever.Zero]

fah-huck

[NFGDay182]

I grew up loving those movies for being cheesy and low budget. I don't want him glossing that franchise up.

[RiCCioLi]

hey atleast its live action again

[<*)))><]

I hope it is as good as his Victoria secret commercial he did.

[secretsociety92]

Hasn't been around for a while? The turtles are about as old as Transformers and the horror movies that Platinum Dunes have been doing are about the same age, maybe a few years older.
I was talking about the fact that there hasn't been a live action version of this for a while.

[mantipede]

I was talking about the fact that there hasn't been a live action version of this for a while.

Yeah, it fits his 15 - 17 year MO. I hate him.

He's also remaking the Birds and the Monster Squad. I wish people in Hollywood would have the ability to swallow their pride enough to listen to what fans want. But alas, money is king.

[Cameronisonfire]

http://www.cracked.com/article/71_if-everyday-life-was-directed-by-michael-bay

[poppa Q]

Why am I happy about this?

What is wrong with me?

[mantipede]

Why am I happy about this?

What is wrong with me?

I too am curious about your glee.

Thinking about it though, I think a lot will be salvaged if they do the Where the Wild Things Are face CG stuff for the turtles and they continue on with their search for suit actors the way they have been, i.e. having people across the country send in videos of themselves doing martial arts. 4 different styles would be pretty cool.

[poppa Q]

I too am curious about your glee.

Thinking about it though, I think a lot will be salvaged if they do the Where the Wild Things Are face CG stuff for the turtles and they continue on with their search for suit actors the way they have been, i.e. having people across the country send in videos of themselves doing martial arts. 4 different styles would be pretty cool.

I dunno, something about a completely ridiculous live-action TMNT where I can expect a bunch of ridiculous shit to happen and enjoy it with a child-like enthusiasm.

[mantipede]

I dunno, something about a completely ridiculous live-action TMNT where I can expect a bunch of ridiculous shit to happen and enjoy it with a child-like enthusiasm.

Hmmm. I definitely see your point there, and Michael Bay is more than capable of presenting this. I guess I just have an utter lack of faith in the story telling aspect of it and, if the visuals are as badass as they probably will be, while the child in me will be happy, the 'mature' moviegoer and all around lover of the turtle story will be let down. I want to be content on both levels.

[poppa Q]

Hmmm. I definitely see your point there, and Michael Bay is more than capable of presenting this. I guess I just have an utter lack of faith in the story telling aspect of it and, if the visuals are as badass as they probably will be, while the child in me will be happy, the 'mature' moviegoer and all around lover of the turtle story will be let down. I want to be content on both levels.

I hear you mantipede. I'm usually pretty good about putting my shield up when I'm going into a movie that I know won't satiate me intellectually -- for comparison, I guess, I really enjoyed the first Transformers, could stand Revenge of the Fallen. So there is a line, for me, that a "shitty, entertainment-value" flick can or cannot cross, I guess I'm just keeping my fingers crossed for a no-brain-necessary popcorn film that will make me feel alive, haha.

[billyboatkid]

Hopefully it'll be rated R and the turtles can fuck some shit up. I've always wanted them to actually use their weapons..

[ylliB sivaD]

Why am I happy about this?

What is wrong with me?


I'm excited too, you're not alone.

[ayerock]

I grew up loving those movies for being cheesy and low budget. I don't want him glossing that franchise up.

I don't think you need to worry about the cheese factor being lost though

[jwicklun]

Does Michael Bay have some kind of mission to destroy our childhood?

[mushroom]

You know you're a bad director if your best film is barely barely watchable.

[Ryan Rumsey]

Whats next Michael? Whats next?

[thisisadisaster]

i bet they become mutant turtles after a radioactive ooze explosion!

[drudo182]

You know you're a bad director if your best film is barely barely watchable.

I'm not too high on myself to an enjoy a Michael Bay film. It's a Michael Bay film. Not sure what more you can expect.

[cowboychris88]

hey mikey, high foot!

[mushroom]

I'm not too high on myself to an enjoy a Michael Bay film. It's a Michael Bay film. Not sure what more you can expect.

Its just because i'm pretentious and only ever seem to like Mike Leigh films, its an awful character trait to have.

On a more general note, did the ninja turtles have a helicopter? i can't remember, if so i'm sure we can expect to see them flying it at dawn, with the sun rising behind them. A shot which has made it into every Bay film i've ever watched.

[mantipede]

Its just because i'm pretentious and only ever seem to like Mike Leigh films, its an awful character trait to have.

On a more general note, did the ninja turtles have a helicopter? i can't remember, if so i'm sure we can expect to see them flying it at dawn, with the sun rising behind them. A shot which has made it into every Bay film i've ever watched.

I feel like in the toyline they were given a helicopter. And a van. And surely tons of other things 4 radioactive, mutated turtles living in the sewers of New York didn't need. But by God, Bay will have them all in full force.

[drudo182]

Its just because i'm pretentious and only ever seem to like Mike Leigh films, its an awful character trait to have.

On a more general note, did the ninja turtles have a helicopter? i can't remember, if so i'm sure we can expect to see them flying it at dawn, with the sun rising behind them. A shot which has made it into every Bay film i've ever watched.

Dude, don't forget the slow-motion.

Visually I get a kick out of Bay's films. It's so over-the-top and unnecessary at times but I can honestly say I love it.

Same way I would categorize my enjoyment for (most) Adam Sandler movies. Nothing amazing but it has a purpose and a place so I can enjoy it.

[drudo182]

Favorite turtle.

http://www.deviantart.com/download/81874418/Raphael_TMNT_HD_wallpaper_by_CapMor eno.jpg

[Guern1ca]

You know you're a bad director if your best film is barely barely watchable.
Bad Boys and The Rock are both highly watchable. Mainly due to performances, though, because the guy truly is a no-talent ass-clown hack bastard.

[Guern1ca]

Favorite turtle.

http://www.deviantart.com/download/81874418/Raphael_TMNT_HD_wallpaper_by_CapMor eno.jpg
That doesn't look like any Raf I grew up with.

[mantipede]

My favorite:

http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs29/f/2008/112/2/b/DONNIE_TMNT_HD_WALLPAPER_by_CapMore no.jpg

[mushroom]

Favorite turtle.

http://www.deviantart.com/download/81874418/Raphael_TMNT_HD_wallpaper_by_CapMor eno.jpg

Michelangelo was my boy but when it came to playing "ninja turtles" in the playground i was always Donatello, my reasoning being that his weaponary was easier to replicate in real life. Child 1 "i wanna be Leonardo" two katana (two medium sticks), Child 2 "i wanna be Michelangelo" two nunchucks (two small sticks), Child number 3 "i wanna be Raphael" two stabby things (two small sticks) Me "i wanna be Donatello" one massive stick (one massive stick). Lets see who wins the fight now! you small stick weilding pricks!

[drudo182]

Don is pretty sweet. Probably my second fav.

[Forever.Zero]

Favorite turtle.

http://www.deviantart.com/download/81874418/Raphael_TMNT_HD_wallpaper_by_CapMor eno.jpg
represent!

[narcoleptic953]

This just in: the Turtles will be getting some weaponry upgrades: Leonardo gets a high powered machine gun, Donatello gets a rocket launcher, Raphael gets a pair of pistols and Michelangelo gets grenades.

[MADSTA]

Yeah, it fits his 15 - 17 year MO. I hate him.

He's also remaking the Birds and the Monster Squad. I wish people in Hollywood would have the ability to swallow their pride enough to listen to what fans want. But alas, money is king.
Fuck this.

[mushroom]

This just in: the Turtles will be getting some weaponry upgrades: Leonardo gets a high powered machine gun, Donatello gets a rocket launcher, Raphael gets a pair of pistols and Michelangelo gets grenades.

And they're all being renamed after MTV presenters.

[Rich Duncan]

Guarenteed this won't even come close to being as good as the originals.

[SomedayTheFire]

Fuck. This. Shit.

[jwicklun]

Cast:
Nicholas Cage as Donatello
Tyrese Gibson as Raphael
Terry Crewes as Michaelangelo
Shia Lebouf as Leonardo
John Voight as Splinter

[drudo182]

Cast:
Nicholas Cage as Donatello
Tyrese Gibson as Raphael
Terry Crewes as Michaelangelo
Shia Lebouf as Leonardo
John Voight as Splinter

John Turturro should play Leo and Shia should play Casey Jones. Old school for Turtles plus a new gen representation.

[jwicklun]

Christina Hendricks as April
Ray Liotta as Shredder
Mickey Rourke as Rocksteady
Vinnie Jones as Bebop
Danny Devito as Krang

[whiterussian]

Sigh.

[p93]

Hopefully it'll be rated R and the turtles can fuck some shit up. I've always wanted them to actually use their weapons..

I absolutely support this.

[Tom_is_awesome]

Why does he keep ruining things I loved as a child!

[mymusicismylife]

I saw this yesterday. I hate this man. So much.

[drudo182]

LOL. They would never make an R TMNT movie.

[thesollopsist]

I loved the old low budget ones as a kid.

[alliegator16]

I'll probably see it...

[ace1112]

TMN WMDs

[Elbozonic]

In addition to the explosions, you can expect the over-use of typical Michael Bay camera shots:

1. Sunlight shining on the camera lens
2. the "360 Hero shot": the camera doing a 360 pan around the protagonist from a low angle

[the seventeenth]

http://i42.tinypic.com/110eqvb.gif

[drudo182]

I miss Jimmy.

[atticusfinch]

ugh. another childhood memory ruined by michael bay.

[atticusfinch]

LOL. They would never make an R TMNT movie.

Which is sad, because the comics warranted at LEAST a hard PG-13 if not an R.

[starseed]

I kind of wonder, now that the original Ninja Turtles creators are no longer involved in the franchise, if the live-action version presented here will be of the original comics or of the cartoon. Will we finally see Krang in a live-action movie? I honestly don't care that Bay is doing this as long as he can give me that. If he can give me that, that's all I ask for.

[Wings That Work]

Bay doing it means huge ass explosions !

[starseed]

Yeah now that I think about it Bay is probably definitely going to want to use the cartoon. More robots.

[Cheshire_Buddha]

Holy shit, Michael Bay gets another producing credit and everyone's mind explodes. It's like he's taking your childhood memories and skull fucking it, amirite? We can now hold Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, TMNT, and that live action TV show with Venus DiMilo in the highest regard, because we obviously know that this is going to be a bigger piece of shit due to a douche's name attached.

[starseed]

Holy shit, Michael Bay gets another producing credit and everyone's mind explodes. It's like he's taking your childhood memories and skull fucking it, amirite? We can now hold Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, TMNT, and that live action TV show with Venus DiMilo in the highest regard, because we obviously know that this is going to be a bigger piece of shit due to a douche's name attached.

Oh no, sarcasm! I'm melting! Meeeeeeeeeeeltiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiing!!!!

[SecretsFromYou]

hey mikey, high foot!


This made me feel a little better about life.

[bradsonemanband]

I kind of wonder, now that the original Ninja Turtles creators are no longer involved in the franchise, if the live-action version presented here will be of the original comics or of the cartoon. Will we finally see Krang in a live-action movie? I honestly don't care that Bay is doing this as long as he can give me that. If he can give me that, that's all I ask for.

amen brother!

[Bob Payne]

at least april will finally get the rockin' pair of tits i've always imagined she had underneath that yellow jumpsuit.

[coryatlarge]

Christina Hendricks as April
Ray Liotta as Shredder
Mickey Rourke as Rocksteady
Vinnie Jones as Bebop
Danny Devito as Krang

as soon as i heard bay was directing she popped in my head for april hahaha.

[cirerelleum]

Michel Bay and Nickelodeon doesn't seem like it's going to be a good combination.

[starseed]

Michel Bay and Nickelodeon doesn't seem like it's going to be a good combination.

It almost sounds like they'd be working at cross purposes.

[aradiantsunrise]

Not sure how I feel about this.

[DooDooBird]

Hopefully it'll be rated R and the turtles can fuck some shit up. I've always wanted them to actually use their weapons..

Hopefully it'll be rated R and there will be an April O Neil sex scene.

[starseed]

Hopefully it'll be rated R and there will be an April O Neil sex scene.

Hopefully it'll be rated R so all the little kiddies won't be able to see it. Because there's nothing sweeter than crushing the dreams of children.

[mantipede]

I kind of wonder, now that the original Ninja Turtles creators are no longer involved in the franchise, if the live-action version presented here will be of the original comics or of the cartoon. Will we finally see Krang in a live-action movie? I honestly don't care that Bay is doing this as long as he can give me that. If he can give me that, that's all I ask for.

If memory serves me correctly, Kevin Eastman is still involved in one way or another.

[ThePartialGlow]

It will never top this:

http://www.movieposteraddict.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/mpatmnt.jpeg

"Pizza dude's got thirty seconds."

http://www.grouchoreviews.com/content/films/3512/2.jpg

[mantipede]

It will never top this:
"Pizza dude's got thirty seconds."
http://www.grouchoreviews.com/content/films/3512/2.jpg

Probably my favorite thing about this movie is Donatello and Michelangelo's relationship.

"Fight?"
"Fight."
"Kitchen?"
"Kitchen."

"Wheel of Fortune, dude!"
"Welp, I guess they're not game show fans."
"And I thought everybody loved Vanna."

[starseed]

If memory serves me correctly, Kevin Eastman is still involved in one way or another.

From Wikipedia

On March 1, 2008 Peter Laird and the Mirage Group completed the buyout of Kevin's entire right, title, interest and income participation in the TMNT property and the four Mirage corporations involved in the ownership, management and protection of the TMNT. This event finalizes the transaction begun on June 1, 2000.


So basically no Eastman is no longer involved and since Laird sold the property off to Nickelodeon, he's no longer involved either.

[Stavie Steelo]

Every real turtles fan knows this is the best film:

http://airtimes.webs.com/2cr3kle.jpg

Stoked for this no matter how it turns out

[mantipede]

From Wikipedia

On March 1, 2008 Peter Laird and the Mirage Group completed the buyout of Kevin's entire right, title, interest and income participation in the TMNT property and the four Mirage corporations involved in the ownership, management and protection of the TMNT. This event finalizes the transaction begun on June 1, 2000.


So basically no Eastman is no longer involved and since Laird sold the property off to Nickelodeon, he's no longer involved either.

Gotcha. I mixed up Laird and Eastman, but I knew one was still involved. I never heard about the Nickelodeon buy out. There is now no hope for this story.

[kwsqd]

Every real turtles fan knows this is the best film:

http://airtimes.webs.com/2cr3kle.jpg

Stoked for this no matter how it turns out
First one is definitely better.

[Guern1ca]

Secret of the Ooze is way, way, way, way, way better in every way. And the third is damn near unwatchable. I love the first two a lot, though.

[kwsqd]

Secret of the Ooze is way, way, way, way, way better in every way. And the third is damn near unwatchable. I love the first two a lot, though.
I always thought Secret of the Ooze was kinda lame. eh.

I bought the third one hoping it would be great... needless to say it was one of the biggest letdowns of my young life.

[WakingTheMisery]

Super Shreder was a bitch and killed himself. Only cool part about him was the fact that he was Kevin FUCKING Nash.

[bhs1158]

I enjoy both the first and second movies about equally. I've always felt Secret of the Ooze is a little bit more light-hearted and packed with more humorous quotes and scenes, while the first is slightly more serious.