Changing for Bf/Gf

[inspirefate]

I don't know why but It saddens me to see when people get a bf or gf and they change into this different person. Lately I've been seeing it a lot and it just bothers me a lot. Especially when your good friends with someone and you don't know them anymore because of who they are dating. Does this bother you or no?

[Reaver]

it happened to a bunch of people I know and it happened to myself. I'm sure I won't let it happen again, though.

[takeiteasy_]

Yes, this happens a lot. It sucks when it happens to a friend, but most people (especially in the teenage years) can't help but let it happen to themselves. I can definitely say it was awful when different people changed my best friend until she was pretty much a stranger to me, but they could probably say the same thing about me now because of my boyfriend. It's weird.

[StephenYoung]

My friends do this, but for girls who already have boyfriends. I don't know, it says a lot about a person when they change for girls.

[RockTheWalls]

Never understood this at all. So happy I am with the lady I am with. No acts, no bullshit or any drama. It's good stuff.

[Deadbolt23]

Everyone changes in a serious relationship. Just don't change the things you feel strongly about.

[.invisible ink.]

Everyone changes in a serious relationship. Just don't change the things you feel strongly about.

exactly. it's called growing. changing into someone you're not is often times problematic - especially to those who knew you before, but changing in general isn't a bad thing.

[inspirefate]

Yeah true but i mean as in acting differently, dressing differently and ignoring people you really care about. I don't think you should change dramatically because of someone you love. I know a girl who has no friends because of her boyfriend.

[terror_91]

Change isn't necessarily a bad thing. People can change for the better and people can change so much that you don't recognise them but that doesn't mean that they are in any way a worse person or someone who you can't be friends with.

[inspirefate]

Change isn't necessarily a bad thing. People can change for the better and people can change so much that you don't recognise them but that doesn't mean that they are in any way a worse person or someone who you can't be friends with.
Yeah that's true but I'm talking about people who change for the bad and I don't want to be friends with someone who is almost like a stranger to me. It wouldn't be the same and it would be sad to watch.

[xcloud66x]

I believe that people never change. They simply exhibit the qualities that have always been within them in response to different environmental situations. So even if it seems like they change in response to others, that 'change' is part of the true character already there inside them regardless of whether it is for the better or the worse.

[terror_91]

Yeah that's true but I'm talking about people who change for the bad and I don't want to be friends with someone who is almost like a stranger to me. It wouldn't be the same and it would be sad to watch.
I can understand your point but, at the same time, that person changing for the "bad" may be that person changing for the better. It's all relative and what this thread really comes down to is that people don't like loosing common ground with friends because that sucks.

[aradiantsunrise]

I hate when relationships change people for the worst. I've lost some friends because of it.

[samschelfhout2]

Don't change for anyone. Some of the best advice I've received in my life.

[Deadbolt23]

Okay. If you're getting into a serious relationship then you have to make your girlfriend the most important person in the world. No matter how long you've been friends with your buds. That's going to change people. As friends you should accept it and be ready to be there for them again when the relationship starts messing up.

[inspirefate]

Okay. If you're getting into a serious relationship then you have to make your girlfriend the most important person in the world. No matter how long you've been friends with your buds. That's going to change people. As friends you should accept it and be ready to be there for them again when the relationship starts messing up.
Well obviously and theirs a lot of guys who have done that without changing into a different person.

[SincerelyMe]

Okay. If you're getting into a serious relationship then you have to make your girlfriend the most important person in the world. No matter how long you've been friends with your buds. That's going to change people. As friends you should accept it and be ready to be there for them again when the relationship starts messing up.

Nope. If my friend gets in a relationship with someone and changes for the worse, she shouldn't expect me to be there when things go to hell. Especially if she stopped hanging out with her friends for a relationship she thought was serious at our age.

[Deadbolt23]

Nope. If my friend gets in a relationship with someone and changes for the worse, she shouldn't expect me to be there when things go to hell. Especially if she stopped hanging out with her friends for a relationship she thought was serious at our age.

Implying that you can't have a serious relationship at our age?

[SincerelyMe]

Implying that you can't have a serious relationship at our age?

High school relationships should never be taken too seriously.

[Deadbolt23]

High school relationships should never be taken too seriously.

Maybe they shouldn't, but that doesn't change the fact that they are.

[SincerelyMe]

Maybe they shouldn't, but that doesn't change the fact that they are.

Right, and if someone abandons all their friends and then the relationship falls apart, why should they expect their friends to come running back?

[Deadbolt23]

Right, and if someone abandons all their friends and then the relationship falls apart, why should they expect their friends to come running back?

Because everyone makes mistakes. Especially when love is involved. Have you never been forgiven?

[SincerelyMe]

Because everyone makes mistakes. Especially when love is involved. Have you never been forgiven?

When it happens over and over again, it's more than a mistake. I just can't stand losing people I've cared about for years because they got involved in a relationship that will be over in two months. And I have been, probably more times than I should have.

[Deadbolt23]

When it happens over and over again, it's more than a mistake. I just can't stand losing people I've cared about for years because they got involved in a relationship that will be over in two months. And I have been, probably more times than I should have.

Yeah. It isn't the right thing to do at all. But it happens too often. If you want to stop losing friends over this then forgive them.

[SincerelyMe]

Yeah. It isn't the right thing to do at all. But it happens too often. If you want to stop losing friends over this then forgive them.

If I'm that disposable to them, I don't even want to waste my time.

[Deadbolt23]

If I'm that disposable to them, I don't even want to waste my time.

Fair enough. That's your choice to make.

[Manicapathy]

My opinion on the whole matter.

HLLO-dC_J2Y&feature=related

[allthewaysaid]

It's just kids that havent developed a personality yet.

[PandaBear!]

High school relationships should never be taken too seriously.


couldn't agree more. Had 2 friends who got 'engaged' at 17 - i then quickly realised they were douchebags. They broke up a few weeks later. The dude has had 2 girlfriends since then, proposed to both of them. 3 marriage proposals by the time you're 21 means something must be wrong with you...
But then, no serious relationships by the time i'm 21 could mean there's something wrong with me !

[inspirefate]

couldn't agree more. Had 2 friends who got 'engaged' at 17 - i then quickly realised they were douchebags. They broke up a few weeks later. The dude has had 2 girlfriends since then, proposed to both of them. 3 marriage proposals by the time you're 21 means something must be wrong with you...
But then, no serious relationships by the time i'm 21 could mean there's something wrong with me !
It's okay to engaged at 17 back then. Now, I advise you not to..

[blinkme]

couldn't agree more. Had 2 friends who got 'engaged' at 17 - i then quickly realised they were douchebags. They broke up a few weeks later. The dude has had 2 girlfriends since then, proposed to both of them. 3 marriage proposals by the time you're 21 means something must be wrong with you...
But then, no serious relationships by the time i'm 21 could mean there's something wrong with me !

There's nothing wrong with you dude. Your friend seems to be a sucker for commitment.

[takeiteasy_]

When it happens over and over again, it's more than a mistake. I just can't stand losing people I've cared about for years because they got involved in a relationship that will be over in two months. And I have been, probably more times than I should have.

I don't think I consider two months a serious relationship, but maybe that's just me.

[SincerelyMe]

I don't think I consider two months a serious relationship, but maybe that's just me.

That's the point.

[takeiteasy_]

It's just kids that havent developed a personality yet.

I believe that people never change. They simply exhibit the qualities that have always been within them in response to different environmental situations. So even if it seems like they change in response to others, that 'change' is part of the true character already there inside them regardless of whether it is for the better or the worse.


This.

Your friends are going to change when you go to college too, it's just a part of life and growing up.

[takeiteasy_]

That's the point.

Oh, well in that case, if your friends think they met the love of their life after two months and completely change and ignore you during that time, I agree with you. Fuck that.

[alltimehoe93]

I don't think I've known one person who didn't change while they were in a relationship. Relationships are weird and make people kind of screwy but to be fair, depending on the people in your life, it can be kind of hard to balance when you're in a relationship.

[schaft]

Everyone changes in a serious relationship. Just don't change the things you feel strongly about.
This. To make a serious relationship work, there are things that each person has to change. I've already stated my opinion on the huge difference between a "serious" high school relationship and a serious relationship, so I won't start that argument again. But when you're in a relationship with the possible intention of spending the rest of your life with that person, you each have to change things about yourselves to make that connection that much stronger.
Nope. If my friend gets in a relationship with someone and changes for the worse, she shouldn't expect me to be there when things go to hell. Especially if she stopped hanging out with her friends for a relationship she thought was serious at our age.

If I'm that disposable to them, I don't even want to waste my time.
That's part of growing up. Deal with it. I have friends who are either in serious relationships or married and I don't see them often because they're living their lives how they want to live them. Do I get all pissy about not seeing them? No, because I know that they're happy and that it will make the times we do get to hang out that much more awesome. And the whole petty thought of "I won't be there for you because you don't hang out anymore" is just plain selfish. Don't be mad at them because they've found someone who makes them happy. Quit being selfish and grow up.

In your teens and early twenties your friends are your main bond but as you grow older and look to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, they become the focus and your friends take back seat. There's no avoiding that. It's a natural progression in life. And I know that you may think "I'll never put my friends behind my significant other", you're only lying to yourself and your friends. Everyone does at some point. As a clear example: look at your parents. How often do they really go out with friends? Not that often, I'd bet. Because they have a family now and that family takes precedence.

[SincerelyMe]

That's part of growing up. Deal with it. I have friends who are either in serious relationships or married and I don't see them often because they're living their lives how they want to live them. Do I get all pissy about not seeing them? No, because I know that they're happy and that it will make the times we do get to hang out that much more awesome. And the whole petty thought of "I won't be there for you because you don't hang out anymore" is just plain selfish. Don't be mad at them because they've found someone who makes them happy. Quit being selfish and grow up.

In your teens and early twenties your friends are your main bond but as you grow older and look to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, they become the focus and your friends take back seat. There's no avoiding that. It's a natural progression in life. And I know that you may think "I'll never put my friends behind my significant other", you're only lying to yourself and your friends. Everyone does at some point. As a clear example: look at your parents. How often do they really go out with friends? Not that often, I'd bet. Because they have a family now and that family takes precedence.

My friends are around my age. Nobody is thinking about marriage. I'm not being selfish. Why should I be there for someone who hasn't been there for me in months? I have a friend who has been with her boyfriend for over two years and manages to find time for her friends. It's not impossible. It's a matter of making time for the things that are important to you.

I know when I get older that will change, but I just think it's shitty for people to abandon their friends for boyfriends and girlfriends when they're so young, especially considering how long relationships generally last at my age.

[schaft]

My friends are around my age. Nobody is thinking about marriage. I'm not being selfish. Why should I be there for someone who hasn't been there for me in months? I have a friend who has been with her boyfriend for over two years and manages to find time for her friends. It's not impossible. It's a matter of making time for the things that are important to you.

I know when I get older that will change, but I just think it's shitty for people to abandon their friends for boyfriends and girlfriends when they're so young, especially considering how long relationships generally last at my age.
I understand your point about making time for things that are important to you. But at the same time you need to understand that what's important to you changes over time. That's the point I was trying to make.

And if you don't see how you're being selfish by turning your back on your friends, then I won't bother pointing it out.

[SincerelyMe]

I understand your point about making time for things that are important to you. But at the same time you need to understand that what's important to you changes over time. That's the point I was trying to make.

And if you don't see how you're being selfish by turning your back on your friends, then I won't bother pointing it out.

I agreed that things change over time. I just don't think that now's the time to be abandoning friends for significant others.

I see where you're coming from with the selfish thing, but if they turned on me first, I feel no guilt.

[RockTheWalls]

My friends are around my age. Nobody is thinking about marriage. I'm not being selfish. Why should I be there for someone who hasn't been there for me in months? I have a friend who has been with her boyfriend for over two years and manages to find time for her friends. It's not impossible. It's a matter of making time for the things that are important to you.

I just think it's shitty for people to abandon their friends for boyfriends and girlfriends when they're so young, especially considering how long relationships generally last at my age.

I wholeheartedly agree with this.

[Deadbolt23]

It looks like schaft and I are in the minority on this one.

[imahoodlum]

Okay. If you're getting into a serious relationship then you have to make your girlfriend the most important person in the world. No matter how long you've been friends with your buds. That's going to change people. As friends you should accept it and be ready to be there for them again when the relationship starts messing up.
I've kinda said it in these terms. I know my friends want my attention, I know my partner wants attention. However, there's only one of me. So, both parties need to be understanding that I can only be spread so thin. There's only one of me and I do the best I can, if they do not understand that, then they can just not be my friend. All I ask is to be understanding. If I don't call you back a minute after I miss your call, don't freak. I basically lost a friend over just that. Kinda stupid.

[schaft]

It looks like schaft and I are being logical on this one.
Fixed. And kudos to you for realizing this at 17. When I was 17, I was still idealistic like SincerelyMe.

[Deadbolt23]

I've kinda said it in these terms. I know my friends want my attention, I know my partner wants attention. However, there's only one of me. So, both parties need to be understanding that I can only be spread so thin. There's only one of me and I do the best I can, if they do not understand that, then they can just not be my friend. All I ask is to be understanding. If I don't call you back a minute after I miss your call, don't freak. I basically lost a friend over just that. Kinda stupid.

That is stupid. Go get them back.

Fixed. And kudos to you for realizing this at 17. When I was 17, I was still idealistic like SincerelyMe.

How old are you?

[SincerelyMe]

Fixed. And kudos to you for realizing this at 17. When I was 17, I was still idealistic like SincerelyMe.

Lol, if you abandon your friends for your significant other, pretty soon you'll have no one.

[inspirefate]

I'm sorry but the only excuse to like abandoning friends is if your married or if you have kids also. If you pass 23-24 and your having a serious relationship and you live with your significant other. If your not in that situation then no you shouldn't have to change because you now have a bf/gf. You suddenly fall off the map and then you won't have friends when your out of that relationship. It's just a bad situation.

[schaft]

How old are you?
I'll be 27 at the end of June.

[schaft]

I'm sorry but the only excuse to like abandoning friends is if your married or if you have kids also. If you pass 23-24 and your having a serious relationship and you live with your significant other. If your not in that situation then no you shouldn't have to change because you now have a bf/gf. You suddenly fall off the map and then you won't have friends when your out of that relationship. It's just a bad situation.
http://imgur.com/N85Oy.png

[Deadbolt23]

I'll be 27 at the end of June.

Oh, my birthday's June 27th. Coincidence? I think not.

[inspirefate]

I'll be 27 at the end of June.
Yeah so wonder you have no idea what most people are trying to say. We're talking about early years bud. We aren't talking about married people..

[Sean Rizzo]

Change isn't necessarily a bad thing. People can change for the better and people can change so much that you don't recognise them but that doesn't mean that they are in any way a worse person or someone who you can't be friends with.
THIS. Yay, now I don't have to state my thoughts unless I see something ignorant. Thanks. =D

EDIT: Well what do you know...

V

[Sean Rizzo]

I'm sorry but the only excuse to like abandoning friends is if your married or if you have kids also. If you pass 23-24 and your having a serious relationship and you live with your significant other. If your not in that situation then no you shouldn't have to change because you now have a bf/gf. You suddenly fall off the map and then you won't have friends when your out of that relationship. It's just a bad situation.
Last time I checked, other things could make you fall off the map besides getting married. >_>'

[terror_91]

THIS. Yay, now I don't have to state my thoughts unless I see something ignorant. Thanks. =D

EDIT: Well what do you know...

V
You're welcome.

[Deadbolt23]

Lol, if you abandon your friends for your significant other, pretty soon you'll have no one.

I won't be abandoning my friends. I don't think it's a good thing to do. I'm just saying I understand why people do, and I'm not going to lose friends over it.

[inspirefate]

Last time I checked, other things could make you fall off the map besides getting married. >_>'
hahah yeah but were talking about relationships. Not in general.

[SincerelyMe]

I won't be abandoning my friends. I don't think it's a good thing to do. I'm just saying I understand why people do, and I'm not going to lose friends over it.

I didn't mean you specifically. I meant people in general.

[Sean Rizzo]

hahah yeah but were talking about relationships. Not in general.
Oh well then I agree. Haha. There's a problem if you can't find time for other things in your life, and that goes with anything, not just relationships.

[Sean Rizzo]

I didn't mean you specifically. I meant people in general.
This is why man-time and girl-time is essential.

[Deadbolt23]

I didn't mean you specifically. I meant people in general.

Fair enough.

[julietelizabeth]

I think that getting annoyed with your friends because they take the time and effort to invest in their relationships is pathetic. You can't very well expect a relationship to succeed if you aren't willing to change, to adapt to being in that relationship. To make the relationship work, you are going to have to change parts of yourself; up to that point, you've been existing by yourself, but being with someone means existing with them, if that makes any sense at all.
I agree with pretty much everything Schaft and deadbolt have said; you damn well should change when you're in a relationship.

Ugh, I don't know what kind of sense that made, but I'm sure you get my point.

[WhitestKidUKnow]

where I'm from, we just say that person has gone version 2.0. or whatever edition they are.

[schaft]

Yeah so wonder you have no idea what most people are trying to say. We're talking about early years bud. We aren't talking about married people..
I wasn't necessarily talking about married people. I was just trying to make people aware that this is a part of life. Get used to it.
I think that getting annoyed with your friends because they take the time and effort to invest in their relationships is pathetic. You can't very well expect a relationship to succeed if you aren't willing to change, to adapt to being in that relationship. To make the relationship work, you are going to have to change parts of yourself; up to that point, you've been existing by yourself, but being with someone means existing with them, if that makes any sense at all.
I agree with pretty much everything Schaft and deadbolt have said; you damn well should change when you're in a relationship.

Ugh, I don't know what kind of sense that made, but I'm sure you get my point.
:thumbup:

[inspirefate]

I think that getting annoyed with your friends because they take the time and effort to invest in their relationships is pathetic. You can't very well expect a relationship to succeed if you aren't willing to change, to adapt to being in that relationship. To make the relationship work, you are going to have to change parts of yourself; up to that point, you've been existing by yourself, but being with someone means existing with them, if that makes any sense at all.
I agree with pretty much everything Schaft and deadbolt have said; you damn well should change when you're in a relationship.

Ugh, I don't know what kind of sense that made, but I'm sure you get my point.
First, you shouldn't have to change for anyone. I'm not talking about a little bit of change..I'm talking about dramatic change. Of course you have to change if you go into a relationship like tiny bits of it that doesn't affect anyone but your partner. I've seen people who change into a whole different person which is ridiculous.

[zachff]

Not as much as bad grammar bothers me.

[Deadbolt23]

First, you shouldn't have to change for anyone. I'm not talking about a little bit of change..I'm talking about dramatic change. Of course you have to change if you go into a relationship like tiny bits of it that doesn't affect anyone but your partner. I've seen people who change into a whole different person which is ridiculous.

Teenagers can change who they are in a month. It happens all the time. It's just growing up.

[roughroads]

When a guy gets in a "relationship" he loses 75% of his awesomeness. It's just science.

[<*)))><]

Okay. If you're getting into a serious relationship then you have to make your girlfriend the most important person in the world. No matter how long you've been friends with your buds. That's going to change people. As friends you should accept it and be ready to be there for them again when the relationship starts messing up.

Someone had to of said this but bros before hoes. It is in the bro code like never look a bro in the eye in a devils threesome.

[Manicapathy]

where I'm from, we just say that person has gone version 2.0. or whatever edition they are.

So the guys with absolutely no game at all are in beta or something?

[jad0295]

It seems kinda stupid. I always thought the point of a relationship was to find someone that was similar to you that you both "clicked" to each other. O:

[Deadbolt23]

Someone had to of said this but bros before hoes. It is in the bro code like never look a bro in the eye in a devils threesome.

You won't find many people that stick to that rule I'm afraid, Ted.

[<*)))><]

When a guy gets in a "relationship" he loses 75% of his awesomeness. It's just science.

False having a penis meanz you're awesome 70% of the time all the time. If you have a beard it adds a multiplier of 1.4

[WhitestKidUKnow]

So the guys with absolutely no game at all are in beta or something?

yup, pretty much.

[<*)))><]

You won't find many people that stick to that rule I'm afraid, Ted.

So most bros look a bro in ghe eye during a devils threesome, the state of brolationships these days are disappointing.

[Deadbolt23]

So most bros look a bro in ghe eye during a devils threesome, the state of brolationships these days are disappointing.

Most bros stage staring contests during devil's threesomes. It's a sad world.

[thesollopsist]

I hate people who do it and completely distance themseleves from you.

[birtcho]

I've had a few (jock) friends who changed for the better

[<*)))><]

Most bros stage staring contests during devil's threesomes. It's a sad world.
So what is the current rule about crossing swords?

[Deadbolt23]

So what is the current rule about crossing swords?

Only after 8.

[<*)))><]

Only after 8.
8 what bitchs? times? time?

[Deadbolt23]

8 what bitchs? times? time?

Only after After Eights.

[phil19]

i think it depends on the level of change and how exactly you're changing.
one of my best friends has changed so much since being with his now fiance, it makes me angry. he's given up so much to be with her and she treats him like shit, doesnt let him go anywhere and we hardly get to hang out with him anymore. he's not the same person at all. i hate it. i would see this as negative change.
however, if the change is positive then i cant see how a friend could be against it

[mymusicismylife]

But they're so cute together...

Nah but seriously fuck relationships like that. I never thought I'd be the one in my little group to be the most unchangeable/unwhippable since I'm the nicest guy (to girls, anyways), but I am. Commitment scares me, cutesy couples discuss me.

[Deadbolt23]

But they're so cute together...

Nah but seriously fuck relationships like that. I never thought I'd be the one in my little group to be the most unchangeable/unwhippable since I'm the nicest guy (to girls, anyways), but I am. Commitment scares me, cutesy couples discuss me.

Why do they discuss you?

[mymusicismylife]

Why do they discuss you?

I guess they find me interesting and/or pity my refusal to commit.

[mymusicismylife]

I may have used the completely wrong word, but at least I spelled it right. I'm cool like that.

[roughroads]

False having a penis meanz you're awesome 70% of the time all the time. If you have a beard it adds a multiplier of 1.4

I like the way you think.

[anthonydarko]

My best friend is in a pretty serious relationship and he's still the same friend he's always been. Yeah some people can change everything to please one person but not all.

[nicoteen]

Never understood this at all. So happy I am with the lady I am with. No acts, no bullshit or any drama. It's good stuff.
This.

[xRadioJoyx]

I hate people who do it and completely distance themseleves from you.

yeah I've had this happen to me with my 'best friend'. pretty frustrating. but eh I'm still in high school so I guess it's helped me realise that my friends now probably won't be around once I graduate.

[Jordie-182]

In my experience I find that when my friend gets a girlfriend, I lose them as a friend, I don't fall out with them, they're (sp?) just never around anymore, which makes them pretty useless

[lauren1234]

For the longest time I thought I lost my best friend when she got in a relationship with one of her, now, exes. We didn't hang out much less talk for almost 6 months. Her boyfriend was such a douche bag and didn't let her hang out with anyone but him.It was awful. Then finally they broke up and we started talking again. When people change like that then there is a problem. But I agree with the people that say when you're in a relationship you are bound to change but for the better.

[iAMhollyood315]

the most annoying thing is not being able to spend alone time with a good friend because they have to be with their gf 24/7 or when they have a controlling gf that won't let them go to shows and ect...,i had a friend flake out on 10+ shows because he was whipped and had a gf boss him around. i don't put up with that shit.

[Jordie-182]

the most annoying thing is not being able to spend alone time with a good friend because they have to be with their gf 24/7 or when they have a controlling gf that won't let them go to shows and ect...,i had a friend flake out on 10+ shows because he was whipped and had a gf boss him around. i don't put up with that shit.

This. I swear most people don't know the difference between " loving " someone and just being glued to them 24/7

[Jennurna Gray]

Sum: Growing with a person you feel strongly about is natural and expected. Changing for a person so that they'll like you is bad and happens too often.

[BozzBlonde]

This happened to me but in a positive way. I became more independent because of my partner's personality. It just kind of rubbed off on me, so changing during a relationship isn't always a bad thing.

[Ryan Rumsey]

I don't know why but It saddens me to see when people get a bf or gf and they change into this different person. Lately I've been seeing it a lot and it just bothers me a lot. Especially when your good friends with someone and you don't know them anymore because of who they are dating. Does this bother you or no?

you're

[BringdowN]

This is a really great topic i find it really interesting. From the time i started my first serious relationship to us breaking up and the time since then I have completely changed for the better. Higher self-esteem and a lack of giving a fuck about anything makes people see me as being real and I've really discovered how much more fun it is. I've never had more friends or been busier in my entire life, I love it

[GoWaitInTheCar]

In a sense, you have to change. Your significant other shouldn't be just another person in your life.

[tottivillarossi]

Never understood this at all. So happy I am with the lady I am with. No acts, no bullshit or any drama. It's good stuff.
If she's hot, you're a dick :-)

[Richard Maxim]

I don't think I've changed at all for my GF, put her before other people? sure.

[Sean Rizzo]

I don't think I've changed at all for my GF, put her before other people? sure.
Very good point here.

[Richard Maxim]

Very good point here.

People like to get the two confused.

[Mochem]

The only girl I've ever been close to dating was all about being true and not letting anything change who you are in a negative way. So I would not have had that problem if I ended up dating her. Unfortunately she just got back with her ex-boyfriend at the peak of our relationship-type-thing. So that's felt pretty good.

[spunkmastaflex]

i love how everyone is agreeing that relationships do change people. this doesnt happen too often here

[terror_91]

i love how everyone is agreeing that relationships do change people. this doesnt happen too often here
Is it something in the water?

[spunkmastaflex]

Is it something in the water?

meh, not really. plus i read a little bit more and there were people going "i didnt change for my GF!" which is most likely not true, so what i said was wrong M-(

[Lycareth]

My opinion on the whole matter.

HLLO-dC_J2Y&feature=related

This should have ended the thread for sure

[Lycareth]

But seriously, for all those who back changing for relationships, it kind of saddens me. Especially since people are using the relationship as what seems to be an incorrect vessel for the change. If they were going to change, it doesn't necessarily take another person to MAKE you do so. If someone wanted to abandon all their friends don't you think they would on their own? This has happened to me in some ways. I dated a girl for 3 years. I defended her actions, however incorrect they usually were, every time in the most civil way and I almost lost a lot of friends over this. Luckily enough my group of friends could operate without me most of the time so nothing really fell apart.

People shouldn't change for people. Realize who you are. That's all you have to do in life and when the person comes around that accepts that. That's the "serious" relationship you want to be in.

[inspirefate]

you're
suck my dick or gtfo

[Ryan Rumsey]

suck my dick or gtfo


:wave:

[SincerelyMe]

But seriously, for all those who back changing for relationships, it kind of saddens me. Especially since people are using the relationship as what seems to be an incorrect vessel for the change. If they were going to change, it doesn't necessarily take another person to MAKE you do so. If someone wanted to abandon all their friends don't you think they would on their own? This has happened to me in some ways. I dated a girl for 3 years. I defended her actions, however incorrect they usually were, every time in the most civil way and I almost lost a lot of friends over this. Luckily enough my group of friends could operate without me most of the time so nothing really fell apart.

People shouldn't change for people. Realize who you are. That's all you have to do in life and when the person comes around that accepts that. That's the "serious" relationship you want to be in.

I agree with everything said here.

[AndrewIcex]

I don't feel like going into great detail, but changing for a significant other is rather normal.

[Jennifer Scott]

Don't fix it if it's not broken.

But if it is, then fix it.

[natalieruthless]

i think one of my best friends is like this. shes totally great when its just me and her, or us with other people, but the second shes with her boyrfriend she gets all sarcastic and a bit snotty. its wicked annoying. i cant stand it, because i want to shake her and be like, "Why are you acting like this?"
like today, we were walking to our cars after school and just talking about music and the weekend. her boyrfriend was waiting for her by her car, and the moment she saw him and he saw her, she changed.
she is still a lovely person, but thsi annoys me quite a bit.
any advice?

i believe in never changing for a person. your significant other should like/love you for who you are, not who they want you to be, or not who you want to be.
that has probably been oversaid. but its still true. :-)

[Sean Rizzo]

i think one of my best friends is like this. shes totally great when its just me and her, or us with other people, but the second shes with her boyrfriend she gets all sarcastic and a bit snotty. its wicked annoying. i cant stand it, because i want to shake her and be like, "Why are you acting like this?"
like today, we were walking to our cars after school and just talking about music and the weekend. her boyrfriend was waiting for her by her car, and the moment she saw him and he saw her, she changed.
she is still a lovely person, but thsi annoys me quite a bit.
any advice?

i believe in never changing for a person. your significant other should like/love you for who you are, not who they want you to be, or not who you want to be.
that has probably been oversaid. but its still true. :-)
Sounds to me like she's showing off for him in a bad way, like how kids will mouth off their parents more than usual while friends are present. I dunno if that's the best comparison, but it's all I could think of. lol.

[natalieruthless]

Sounds to me like she's showing off for him in a bad way, like how kids will mouth off their parents more than usual while friends are present. I dunno if that's the best comparison, but it's all I could think of. lol.


makes complete sense. it works as a comparison, too. i wish she wouldnt do it, but maybe its because her boyfriend is like that. and for some odd reason, that trait rubs off on her....
blah.

[Sean Rizzo]

makes complete sense. it works as a comparison, too. i wish she wouldnt do it, but maybe its because her boyfriend is like that. and for some odd reason, that trait rubs off on her....
blah.
She might just be immature, or it could be what you said, or some weird combination of both. Let's go with the last one. haha.

[natalieruthless]

She might just be immature, or it could be what you said, or some weird combination of both. Let's go with the last one. haha.


last one sounds good. i just hope that this isnt lasting. being with her when shes with him is never really fun, and i hope she doesnt become that person permanently.... :-(

[Sean Rizzo]

last one sounds good. i just hope that this isnt lasting. being with her when shes with him is never really fun, and i hope she doesnt become that person permanently.... :-(
Just keep trying to make her aware of it.

[natalieruthless]

Just keep trying to make her aware of it.


yeah. thats the hard part. because i dont want to piss her off. she is the sort that one would expect to not change for people, which makes me believe that she is unaware. i dont know..

[Sean Rizzo]

yeah. thats the hard part. because i dont want to piss her off. she is the sort that one would expect to not change for people, which makes me believe that she is unaware. i dont know..
If she's really your friend she won't stay angry at you, even if she does get angry for a little, and see that you're just trying to help her. Even if she doesn't agree with the conclusion you've come to, it's nothing to make a long lasting fight over.

[Jaimehere]

I hate when relationships change people for the worst. I've lost some friends because of it.

TRUE

though i never changed when i had relationships, and if i had, it was for the better

[natalieruthless]

If she's really your friend she won't stay angry at you, even if she does get angry for a little, and see that you're just trying to help her. Even if she doesn't agree with the conclusion you've come to, it's nothing to make a long lasting fight over.


true, yeah. thanks so much, seriously. :-)

[Sean Rizzo]

true, yeah. thanks so much, seriously. :-)
you're very welcome, lol. I try to help where I can.

[pandemicpreston]

I've changed since I asked out my girlfriend...for the better.

I'm glad my girlfriend isn't the type that is controlling. She lets me have a life, I just choose to include Her in it every day of the week. I Love Her with everything, and I'm thankful that God has blessed me in this way.

It does kill me when I see a good guy (or girl) turn into a dick because of someone trying to change them, or being a dick in return to them. It pains me more to see a sex based relationship.

Just my .2

[mymusicismylife]

I've changed since I asked out my girlfriend...for the better.

I'm glad my girlfriend isn't the type that is controlling. She lets me have a life, I just choose to include Her in it every day of the week. I Love Her with everything, and I'm thankful that God has blessed me in this way.

It does kill me when I see a good guy (or girl) turn into a dick because of someone trying to change them, or being a dick in return to them. It pains me more to see a sex based relationship.

Just my .2

Actually .02.

[raychull]

In my last relationship I went through a lot of negative changes. I wound up being isolated from everybody that cares about me, and I'd come home, every day from my classes, depressed. I did a lot of nothing, and I became extremely passive. I had no backbone, whatsoever, and generally I was just down, all of the time, and even more afraid of losing the relationship, that, ironically, was taking a huge toll on me.

I'm in a new relationship now, and since I've taken time to regroup, emotionally, along with regaining proper grounds with my loved ones, I'm a lot happier than I've been in a long time. I've made some changes since the start, but generally just to live a more proactive life, and being a more positive person. I realize it's impossible to have good days all of the time, but I've grown up a lot in the past year and a half, and I'd like to think that I'm doing what I can to adapt to the benefit of the relationship, without losing touch of my friends and family.

[Jordie-182]

In my last relationship I went through a lot of negative changes. I wound up being isolated from everybody that cares about me, and I'd come home, every day from my classes, depressed. I did a lot of nothing, and I became extremely passive. I had no backbone, whatsoever, and generally I was just down, all of the time, and even more afraid of losing the relationship, that, ironically, was taking a huge toll on me.

I'm in a new relationship now, and since I've taken time to regroup, emotionally, along with regaining proper grounds with my loved ones, I'm a lot happier than I've been in a long time. I've made some changes since the start, but generally just to live a more proactive life, and being a more positive person. I realize it's impossible to have good days all of the time, but I've grown up a lot in the past year and a half, and I'd like to think that I'm doing what I can to adapt to the benefit of the relationship, without losing touch of my friends and family.

I'm glad to hear you are doing better now.

But seriously, is that a freakin' Chansey!!!!!

[Sean Rizzo]

I'm glad to hear you are doing better now.

But seriously, is that a freakin' Chansey!!!!!
Blissey, haha. Chansey got an evolution. =O

[raychull]

I'm glad to hear you are doing better now.

But seriously, is that a freakin' Chansey!!!!!
it's a blissey, yo.

[wildo3000]

It bothers me insofar as they're changing NEGATIVELY. It's awesome when someone changes for the better =]

[Jordie-182]

Blissey, haha. Chansey got an evolution. =O

it's a blissey, yo.

Blissey? I swear that wasn't around when I played pokemon

[Sean Rizzo]

Blissey? I swear that wasn't around when I played pokemon
Blissey was in G/S/C. lol.

[XLT917]

My best friend isn't so much changing as a person but he does seem to devoting ALL of his non work time to her this summer and she's freaking 3000 miles away. I see him about once every two or three weeks for like 2 hours now, and one of those times was spent listening to him have a phone conversation with her. On top of that I will be going to college with them next semester and at the moment I have no idea how it's gonna turn out, I really do not want to get stuck being a third wheel.

/rant

[mattplayscheap]

i look back at how bad i changed when i was with one of my last girlfriends... im so suprised i am still around with everything i went through with that person.