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RomeoAGoGo
10/02/06, 12:53 PM
a couple of recent shorties


1) Five Twenty Two Hudson Avenue

Fractured plaster chips stick
to the staircase. Dirt quilts
each step. A wooden door creaks
open. Hardwood floors, once polished
and laminated, now freckled
with crevices. Our new humble abode.
We call it our own.

In the room at the end
of the hallway lives a broken boy.
We're helpless with words,
restricted to the couches cushioning
every moment we have for consolation.
The gas stove still burns, flickering
sapphire beauty before our eyes.


2) Taxicab

"Is it nothing to you,
all you who pass by?"
-Lamentations 1:12.

There's a man
blowing bubbles
on a crowded street corner.
Soapy static spheres rise
to the magnetic pulse
of the clouds.

Passerbys stare in awe,
perhaps even wonder.
Maybe the bubbles serve
as a reminder of childhood
in this stop and go,
walk, do not walk,
left foot, right foot,
march of adulthood.


3) Subway Musician

plucking away at an acoustic guitar
the homeless man in garbage bag drag
lifts his ragged beard to peer
at the quarter dropped at his bare feet.

the musty aftermath of Jack
sheaths the buds of his tongue
and each string flick brings back
memories of each sour sip.

the cardboard box he calls home
doesn't really provide the best acoustics
nor does the shrieking of subway cars
help accentuate the beauty of his music.


4) Southern State


I'm driving on to the end of the parkway
with only the flare of tailights to light my way.
Swollen eyes stay tied to the dividing lines
that make up our lanes, as I push back
these thoughts to another time and place.

There's a lot that needs to be said
and lately it seems there's not enough time,
with all thats rushing by in life,
words that can't be spoken, only cried.

So I drive and cry on a little longer
past the hum of crickets and the sway of trees,
telling myself "I know life isn't all about the pain;
it's what we do with each day that we celebrate."

lostfear
10/02/06, 05:13 PM
these are all pretty good man. poetic and short.


but i have to be honest, none of it struck a chord with me. that made me want to listen to the music (if you have any), and I don't like things being compared to gems. it just seems overused. even sapphires.

but other than that I await more.

Slaytus
10/02/06, 05:43 PM
Five Twenty Two Hudson Avenue made me shiver it gave me alot of images
very good
taxicab was also really good but the last 2 didnt really draw me in.
your talented bro

thecurerocks182
10/02/06, 05:48 PM
well written but awfully dreary. You are a great poet but they are not very interesting (in my opinion) and they seemed to lack a meaning...you seem better at describing than you are at telling a story. anyways, that is just one persons opinion i'm sure there are others who would disagree with what i said. Keep it up though

Boring Pop Song
10/02/06, 05:49 PM
this is really impressive and original stuff. please keep posting

OveriseFan
10/02/06, 06:41 PM
Meh.

Not feeling it.

Seems like pretty standard poetry stuff that isn't anything new to me. It feels like you had no inspiration during a creative writing class...

RomeoAGoGo
10/02/06, 10:59 PM
Thanks everyone for your comments. All of these poems were shorties so I understand some of the criticism about not striking a chord. I'll post some longer ones in the next couple days. It was great reading some of your work. I can tell there is talent here.