It's Not Magic, This Is How I Disappear...

[a speedo model]

Here's the first thing I've written in awhile, wanted to know your guys thoughts on it.

“It’s Not Magic, This Is Just Disappearing…”
These freezing nights
Were made up of blanket stares from blank eyes
And we held to predictions
And let every feeling fade like the scrapes on your skin
We let go

And it becomes obvious
That our filthy hands need more
Then simple confessions that have all the worst sins left out
And a hand-me-down prayer we recite
Not believing anymore

I’m not thinking anymore of who I was
(Constant in my consent to wavering faith)
And I want to understand all that I’ve left
(It’s a backlash of these backdrops that have painted every scene)
I’m not feeling anymore
I’m not feeling anymore

Alive with the glory
That led us by the hand and off the second story
Writing ourselves out of ink
And leaving the stain of a good thought
But I’m not feeling anymore

And this two-timing feeling
That makes me feel alive and yet is what kills me
Will be the only thing I remember
Will be the only thing worth remembering
Took my two cents worth to the well
Where I forgave myself (I forgave you…)

Take care, I am sleeping
Take care, I am leaving

[a speedo model]

my bad, the title of the thread is different from the title of the song...haha, I was tired...

[lfdfforever]

this is really good

[a speedo model]

this is really good
Thanks alot, man. You're always so nice about my work...:-)

[a speedo model]

bump

[thecurerocks182]

And it becomes obvious
That we our filthy hands need more -> this line made no sense to me... maybe i'm just very tired
Then simple confessions that have all the worst sins left out
And a hand-me-down prayer we recite
Not believing anymore




Anyways, besides that one line, I enjoyed it, but feel you have done much better. The line alive with the glory of love made me instantly think of Say Anything. You having writers block or something? I'm not implying in any means that your peice was bad because I thought it was good, but you haven't posting much in this forum lately. I know I've been overwhelmed with homework this semester so it is rare for myself to submit anything and then when I do I try to keep it active.

[a speedo model]

Anyways, besides that one line, I enjoyed it, but feel you have done much better. The line alive with the glory of love made me instantly think of Say Anything. You having writers block or something? I'm not implying in any means that your peice was bad because I thought it was good, but you haven't posting much in this forum lately. I know I've been overwhelmed with homework this semester so it is rare for myself to submit anything and then when I do I try to keep it active.
It was a mixture of writer's block, work, and school. I just didn't have any time to write, but I sat down and just started writing a few new pieces and this is the result. How did the line not make sense? I'm just curious, maybe it needs to be made more clear.

and thank you :-)

[a speedo model]

hahaha, wait. I see it now, it was a typo. My bad. It's fixed now..

[a speedo model]

:unsure:

[littlebeav]

I like it. But I must confess to thinking about Say Anything when I read the "alive with the glory of love" lyric. SO.... my question: is that an allusion or what? It doesn't detract from the song, but without hearing a melody it seems like it's not a reference just a coincidence.

[a speedo model]

I like it. But I must confess to thinking about Say Anything when I read the "alive with the glory of love" lyric. SO.... my question: is that an allusion or what? It doesn't detract from the song, but without hearing a melody it seems like it's not a reference just a coincidence.
Thank you. It is not a reference to Say Anything. I'm not a big fan of them, it was just a coincidence. After I finished writing and read over it, it did remind me of them. But it's just coincidence.

[lostfear]

I like it. you have great style and voice. do you have music? I forget. or do you just write lyrics?

Read my new oneeee.

[Tai]

Please breed so we can have more poets like you.

[a speedo model]

I like it. you have great style and voice. do you have music? I forget. or do you just write lyrics?

Read my new oneeee.
I write some music, yes. But I've yet to write music for this one.

Thank you for your kindness.

[a speedo model]

Please breed so we can have more poets like you.
haha, Thank you. I will try.

[ArTkY_]

THIS. IS. FUCKING. GREAT.

Dude! You finally veered away from your repetitive allusions and metaphors. Good job, good job. I like this a lot. A NEW BEGINNING! hahaha

Trying new stuff is always good.

[a speedo model]

THIS. IS. FUCKING. GREAT.

Dude! You finally veered away from your repetitive allusions and metaphors. Good job, good job. I like this a lot. A NEW BEGINNING! hahaha

Trying new stuff is always good.
haha, Thanks so much, man. It's great to know you like it.

I'm very happy with how this turned out. It felt so good to write this after having writer's block for so long.

[iHATEapril]

It starts off slow, but then booms into some of my favorite stuff I've ever seen on this site, arond the 4th stanza. Really well done as a whole.

[a speedo model]

It starts off slow, but then booms into some of my favorite stuff I've ever seen on this site, arond the 4th stanza. Really well done as a whole.
Thank you, my man. Like seeing you in here.

[iHATEapril]

Yeah, I don't post a lot lately.

[a speedo model]

I noticed. What's the dealEoh?

[iHATEapril]

I noticed. What's the dealEoh?

I'm just really busy, and I have a lot of bad stuff going on in my life. I'm considering getting help.

[a speedo model]

I'm just really busy, and I have a lot of bad stuff going on in my life. I'm considering getting help.
Shit, dude. I'm sorry.

[Tai]

I keep repeating the title while I'm at work.


good good stuff.

[a speedo model]

I keep repeating the title while I'm at work.


good good stuff.
:-) thank you.

[ArTkY_]

I'm just really busy, and I have a lot of bad stuff going on in my life. I'm considering getting help.
I'm sorry to hear that. :-(

[black rose]

so basically the fourth stanza is fucking fantastic.
esp. the first two lines.
gold.

the whole thing overall is awesome.
i have to agree with everyone else.

i don't even know what bad to say. :shrug:

[a speedo model]

so basically the fourth stanza is fucking fantastic.
esp. the first two lines.
gold.

the whole thing overall is awesome.
i have to agree with everyone else.

i don't even know what bad to say. :shrug:
Thank you very much

[Wild Orchid]

dude you are REALLY awesome!
Keep writing!!!

[screamoutmyname]

i like it alot, man.

especially the line "writing ourselves out of ink"

keep it up! :-)

[JimGray]

This is like a year and a half old.

Still good, but y'know.

[a speedo model]

Wait, what the hell?

[yournewhaircut]

I like this piece too. Have you worked on it since you posted it so long ago?

[mattybobviously]

I didn't see your name as the poster and was afraid I was walking in on a My Chemical Romance rehash.

Instead I got to read one of my favorite things I've seen here in a while. Awesome stuff.

[a speedo model]

I like this piece too. Have you worked on it since you posted it so long ago?
Nope, forgot it existed actually.
I didn't see your name as the poster and was afraid I was walking in on a My Chemical Romance rehash.

Instead I got to read one of my favorite things I've seen here in a while. Awesome stuff.
Haha, thanks man. Glad you liked it.

[lew_1987]

yay for weird bumps.

[JimGray]

^^Agreed!

[CellarGhosts]

woah woah old thread alert!

also, the title made me cringe because it made me think of My Chemical Romance. :shudder:

anyways, it was neat seeing some 'vintage' Josiah on here haha. it was pretty good otherwise.

[JimGray]

woah woah old thread alert!

also, the title made me cringe because it made me think of My Chemical Romance. :shudder:

anyways, it was neat seeing some 'vintage' Josiah on here haha. it was pretty good otherwise.

You should go read some 'new' jimGray hinthint

[CellarGhosts]

You should go read some 'new' jimGray hinthint
gotcha. ;-)

[JimGray]

gotcha. ;-)

Have you noticed that when me, you and Kirbie have a discussion we jump around between like 7-8 threads.

It's so awesome, it reminds me of when I was younger i would play make believe games, and they would always be about different things, but somehow be the same, in numerous, constant places.

[CellarGhosts]

Have you noticed that when me, you and Kirbie have a discussion we jump around between like 7-8 threads.

It's so awesome, it reminds me of when I was younger i would play make believe games, and they would always be about different things, but somehow be the same, in numerous, constant places.
haha yes I have noticed that. one day I was talking to Kirbie on MySpace, in the Alk3 thread, the Sundowner/Falcon thread, the chat thread and I think maybe in the Anti-Flag one too haha.

[JimGray]

haha yes I have noticed that. one day I was talking to Kirbie on MySpace, in the Alk3 thread, the Sundowner/Falcon thread, the chat thread and I think maybe in the Anti-Flag one too haha.

Hahaha, MySpace nerds.

[lew_1987]

someone please tell me... is his name actually kirbie? or is this just a nick name people give him?

[JimGray]

He told me its Kirbie, so i think it is...

[CellarGhosts]

yeah, it's his real name. and yes - I'm a MySpace nerd. oh wellz.

[JimGray]

yeah, it's his real name. and yes - I'm a MySpace nerd. oh wellz.

I'm depressed, i am going to be on like once every 2 weeks this summer, and you are gonna have like 1200 posts a day, lol.

I feel that we are growing apart.

Make-up sex?

[CellarGhosts]

okay. make-up sex is always teh fun.

[lew_1987]

shit, i wish my name was kirbie. i love that guy

(as in the game character)

[CellarGhosts]

Kirbie = one of the greatest video game characters ever.

[lew_1987]

Kirbie = the greatest video game character ever.

fixed.

[CellarGhosts]

haha that works too. but Mario and Yoshi are up there for me too. Kirbie probably wins though.

[JimGray]

Kirbie is win.

[a speedo model]

Haha, I still have no clue why it was bumped. Very odd.

[freefall123]

i love it man