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iHATEapril
10/27/06, 11:03 AM
Love makes you do the funniest things
Like trading your body for intangible feelings
When you get to that point you'll trade your life
To let your eyes fade out sitting at her side

Be sure you've made the precautions
Left the note and made funeral arrangements
They'll lock up your home for further observation
A boy who traded everything to make himself forget

"If there is any part of me you dislike
I will glady send it down the nile
Just give me fair notice to find the basket
Where I'll seal my heart in a woven casket"
Beating against the cresting waves
Pieces of me grow deranged with hate
Just as they peak to the point of mutiny
They're calmed by their master's serenity
Staring at his passing parts in the sea
He yells off "Be not angry, your time's lost it's limit
You'll live on forever knowing you've died for someone's sins
I'm to go on forever wondering what could have been
If I hadn't sent myself unguarded down a forgotten stream"

a speedo model
10/27/06, 11:47 AM
This is fucking excellent, man. The first verse starts off a bit weak, but the rest is beautiful and flawless. Some of your best work. Great job.

"If there is any part of me you dislike
I will glady send it down the nile
Just give me fair notice to find the basket
Where I'll seal my heart in a woven casket"

- This part is great, I love it. So much so that I wish I'd thought of it.

Read my new one :-)

iHATEapril
10/27/06, 12:03 PM
This is fucking excellent, man. The first verse starts off a bit weak, but the rest is beautiful and flawless. Some of your best work. Great job.

"If there is any part of me you dislike
I will glady send it down the nile
Just give me fair notice to find the basket
Where I'll seal my heart in a woven casket"

- This part is great, I love it. So much so that I wish I'd thought of it.

Read my new one :-)

I kind of arrived at it through "In A Sweater Poorly Knit" it just reminded me of the biblical reference of sending a person down the river in a basket.

lfdfforever
10/27/06, 12:05 PM
good job gangster

ArTkY_
10/27/06, 07:18 PM
I like this, but is it a poem or a song?

Cutiefacex3
10/27/06, 10:32 PM
Wonderful work. I loved it.