Emü Press Release

[devin]

Good Afternoon:

Just a few minutes ago, I sent a fax to the principle members of Emü. The past few days have involved a lot of soul-searching for me. I was grappling with a very difficult decision, but a revelation has made my choice clear. I am leaving Emü to pursue solo projects.

For the past two weeks, Emü has become a family for me. But, where things started out carefree, they have become strident. Emü used to be about the Molson and professional wrestling, now it's all about surgical-strike flames. If I want to even mention that fine Canadian beer, the bottle has to be broken over someone's head or shoved up their ass. To my surprise, they don't even really like pro wrestling, it was just an ironic jab at the world's most popular form of sports entertainment.

Emü was a labor of love that has become completely commercial. The action figures and Halloween costumes were fine, but I knew we had gone to far when I saw my face on a vibrator. The recent successes of Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, and Art Garfunkel have convinced me that my solo career is now viable. I have some surprising posts up my sleeve for this board, and I hope you will embrace my return to my roots. I wish the best of luck to Emü, but I think they have lost touch with the public.

[Clarett'sGreyGoose]

Devin, you're a very confusing man, do you realize that?

[FishAlotNBePunk]

Originally posted by devin
Good Afternoon:

Just a few minutes ago, I sent a fax to the principle members of Emü. The past few days have involved a lot of soul-searching for me. I was grappling with a very difficult decision, but a revelation has made my choice clear. I am leaving Emü to pursue solo projects.

For the past two weeks, Emü has become a family for me. But, where things started out carefree, they have become strident. Emü used to be about the Molson and professional wrestling, now it's all about surgical-strike flames. If I want to even mention that fine Canadian beer, the bottle has to be broken over someone's head or shoved up their ass. To my surprise, they don't even really like pro wrestling, it was just an ironic jab at the world's most popular form of sports entertainment.

Emü was a labor of love that has become completely commercial. The action figures and Halloween costumes were fine, but I knew we had gone to far when I saw my face on a vibrator. The recent successes of Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, and Art Garfunkel have convinced me that my solo career is now viable. I have some surprising posts up my sleeve for this board, and I hope you will embrace my return to my roots. I wish the best of luck to Emü, but I think they have lost touch with the public.

haha that was excellent! good luck Devin.

I got dibs on new emu boy

[Clarett'sGreyGoose]

Now that I think about this, it may be time for an Emü schism. The emü boys like Pat and Colin who can flame the shit out of people for kicks, and the others. Anybody with me?

[devin]

Originally posted by FishAlotNBePunk
haha that was excellent! good luck Devin.

I got dibs on new emu boy

::cough:: Sammy Hagar ::cough::

[FishAlotNBePunk]

hahahaha

[hot damn!]

Originally posted by devin
Good Afternoon:

Just a few minutes ago, I sent a fax to the principle members of Emü. The past few days have involved a lot of soul-searching for me. I was grappling with a very difficult decision, but a revelation has made my choice clear. I am leaving Emü to pursue solo projects.

For the past two weeks, Emü has become a family for me. But, where things started out carefree, they have become strident. Emü used to be about the Molson and professional wrestling, now it's all about surgical-strike flames. If I want to even mention that fine Canadian beer, the bottle has to be broken over someone's head or shoved up their ass. To my surprise, they don't even really like pro wrestling, it was just an ironic jab at the world's most popular form of sports entertainment.

Emü was a labor of love that has become completely commercial. The action figures and Halloween costumes were fine, but I knew we had gone to far when I saw my face on a vibrator. The recent successes of Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, and Art Garfunkel have convinced me that my solo career is now viable. I have some surprising posts up my sleeve for this board, and I hope you will embrace my return to my roots. I wish the best of luck to Emü, but I think they have lost touch with the public.

As of now Emü is on hiatus and our dates for the Warped Tour have yet to be determined. Please stayed tune to AP.net for the latest breaking news..........

[iglooXcore]

Originally posted by devin
Good Afternoon:

Just a few minutes ago, I sent a fax to the principle members of Emü. The past few days have involved a lot of soul-searching for me. I was grappling with a very difficult decision, but a revelation has made my choice clear. I am leaving Emü to pursue solo projects.

For the past two weeks, Emü has become a family for me. But, where things started out carefree, they have become strident. Emü used to be about the Molson and professional wrestling, now it's all about surgical-strike flames. If I want to even mention that fine Canadian beer, the bottle has to be broken over someone's head or shoved up their ass. To my surprise, they don't even really like pro wrestling, it was just an ironic jab at the world's most popular form of sports entertainment.

Emü was a labor of love that has become completely commercial. The action figures and Halloween costumes were fine, but I knew we had gone to far when I saw my face on a vibrator. The recent successes of Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, and Art Garfunkel have convinced me that my solo career is now viable. I have some surprising posts up my sleeve for this board, and I hope you will embrace my return to my roots. I wish the best of luck to Emü, but I think they have lost touch with the public.
fuck THAT! we don't NEED you! :mad:

(shannon in real life: :( :( )

[charly horse]

:(.........devin will be missed.... although i was never apart of emu neways cuz they think im a trend whore.....i will be deeply devistated

[Ronin]

Rebuttal from the Emü Council

ahem..

::taps papers on podium::

It has come to our (my) attention that one "Devin Silva" is reporting to the media that he has left the ranks of emü.

Devin neglected to inform us personally, and instead chose to air his grievances in a public fashion. While we respect his decision and wish him the best of luck in the future, the fact remains that Devin is a cock-gobbling douchebag of the highest order.

Emü will remain stronger than ever. Our wrestling skills will improve through our Bret Hart sponsored training camp, and our capacity for Canadian beer will also increase through a federally sponsored Canadian road trip.The poorly done doctoring of photos will continue, with newly added emphasis on the pictures of Devin's mom that he so kindly provided.

We would like to express best wishes to Devin "Cockface" Silva, and we stress to you, the posters, that the parting was amicable, and contrary to all rumours the emü council was not involved in an orgy with Devin's sister.

[charly horse]

Originally posted by Ronin
Rebuttal from the Emü Council

ahem..

::taps papers on podium::

It has come to our (my) attention that one "Devin Silva" is reporting to the media that he has left the ranks of emü.

Devin neglected to inform us personally, and instead chose to air his grievances in a public fashion. While we respect his decision and wish him the best of luck in the future, the fact remains that Devin is a cock-gobbling douchebag of the highest order.

Emü will remain stronger than ever. Our wrestling skills will improve through our Bret Hart sponsored training camp, and our capacity for Canadian beer will also increase through a federally sponsored Canadian road trip.The poorly done doctoring of photos will continue, with newly added emphasis on the pictures of Devin's mom that he so kindly provided.

We would like to express best wishes to Devin "Cockface" Silva, and we stress to you, the posters, that the parting was amicable, and contrary to all rumours the emü council was not involved in an orgy with Devin's sister.

:(

[BustaNutz]

As of right now the Emü Council is at a point of indecision as to whether to replace Devin or to downsize, all interested in applying should write your name, address and phone number on the back of a twenty dollar bill and mail it to me at my home address.

As for the true reason Devin left, it was because he couldn't hold his alcohol and he was unsuccessful in defeating any of the other Emü Council members in wrestling and later fisticuffs. Devin is a praise-whore, which is worse than a trend-whore. He loves the praise and it became to him like an addiction (much like alcohol is to Colin). The fact that Emu was Colin's and my brainchild, and not his, ate at him and the fact people associated him with Colin in anything he did caused Devin many sleepless nights. In the end Devin felt the only way he could get the credit he felt he deserved was to leave. And we will miss him like we miss mono or a bad case of genital warts. We will miss the fact we could pad our wrestling won/loss records by pinning him easily. We will miss the way he would give us his speeches on how drinking a fine Canadian beer will cause us to get cirrhosis of the liver later in life. We will miss how when we would walk in a room he would quickly change cd's from his Liberace mix to something we listened to. And we will especially miss when he brought around his mother, and his sister. We wish Devin the best of luck in the future...

[suckerpunch_]

ill take his place, even though i have no clue what emu is

[Jim Morgan]

join emé with me

[BustaNutz]

Originally posted by JimNFG
join emé with me

You're an idiot.

[cheez mastah]

Originally posted by BustaNutz
You're an idiot.

That whole group of people is idiotic for actually enjoying something as retarded as this Emu.

[Clarett'sGreyGoose]

Originally posted by Ronin
Rebuttal from the Emü Council

ahem..

::taps papers on podium::

It has come to our (my) attention that one "Devin Silva" is reporting to the media that he has left the ranks of emü.

Devin neglected to inform us personally, and instead chose to air his grievances in a public fashion. While we respect his decision and wish him the best of luck in the future, the fact remains that Devin is a cock-gobbling douchebag of the highest order.

Emü will remain stronger than ever. Our wrestling skills will improve through our Bret Hart sponsored training camp, and our capacity for Canadian beer will also increase through a federally sponsored Canadian road trip.The poorly done doctoring of photos will continue, with newly added emphasis on the pictures of Devin's mom that he so kindly provided.

We would like to express best wishes to Devin "Cockface" Silva, and we stress to you, the posters, that the parting was amicable, and contrary to all rumours the emü council was not involved in an orgy with Devin's sister.

Originally posted by BustaNutz
As of right now the Emü Council is at a point of indecision as to whether to replace Devin or to downsize, all interested in applying should write your name, address and phone number on the back of a twenty dollar bill and mail it to me at my home address.

As for the true reason Devin left, it was because he couldn't hold his alcohol and he was unsuccessful in defeating any of the other Emü Council members in wrestling and later fisticuffs. Devin is a praise-whore, which is worse than a trend-whore. He loves the praise and it became to him like an addiction (much like alcohol is to Colin). The fact that Emu was Colin's and my brainchild, and not his, ate at him and the fact people associated him with Colin in anything he did caused Devin many sleepless nights. In the end Devin felt the only way he could get the credit he felt he deserved was to leave. And we will miss him like we miss mono or a bad case of genital warts. We will miss the fact we could pad our wrestling won/loss records by pinning him easily. We will miss the way he would give us his speeches on how drinking a fine Canadian beer will cause us to get cirrhosis of the liver later in life. We will miss how when we would walk in a room he would quickly change cd's from his Liberace mix to something we listened to. And we will especially miss when he brought around his mother, and his sister. We wish Devin the best of luck in the future...

wow, you guys are fucking great. My ribs hurt. too much laughter. shit!!

[BustaNutz]

Originally posted by cheez mastah
That whole group of people is idiotic for actually enjoying something as retarded as this Emu.

Who the hell are you? I've never even seen you post before, fist yourself and die.

[devin]

I think it is time that I silence the rumors surrounding the dissolution of my relationship with Emü. Colin fucked my mother and didn't have the balls to tell me about it. Rather, I had to find out from Jerry's sig. I wantedt to take the high road, but I have been dragged into the muck. Emü was founded because Colin and Pat failed miserably in their efforts at becoming the new emo boy. Rather than take the loss gracefully, they founded a competitor to emo that they felt was cooler. At that point, I found the guys fun, and it seemed like a good time to sign up. Little did I know how quickly Emü would become self-indulgent. Fortunately, I met John Nolan after the Brand New show tonight. Finding ourselves in similar situations, we thought it would be a great idea to work together. Look forward to an album before Christmas.

Oh, the Emü idea of "wrestling" is really abducting third-grade boys from local schools and sodomizing them with a broom.

[devin]

More proof that Emü is just a marketing ploy: they act like it's a family, but don't even know that I have no sister.

[iglooXcore]

wha?

[papathomas]

Originally posted by devin
Oh, the Emü idea of "wrestling" is really abducting third-grade boys from local schools and sodomizing them with a broom. i new it:eek:

[papathomas]

Originally posted by devin
Oh, the Emü idea of "wrestling" is really abducting third-grade boys from local schools and sodomizing them with a broom. i knew it:eek:

[Fobika!]

i think either Zach or Busta should be the new Emu kids, cuz theyre the best at randomly flaming all the little kids on the board

if thats whats involved, in being emu, of course

[Clarett'sGreyGoose]

Originally posted by devin
I think it is time that I silence the rumors surrounding the dissolution of my relationship with Emü. Colin fucked my mother and didn't have the balls to tell me about it. Rather, I had to find out from Jerry's sig. I wantedt to take the high road, but I have been dragged into the muck. Emü was founded because Colin and Pat failed miserably in their efforts at becoming the new emo boy. Rather than take the loss gracefully, they founded a competitor to emo that they felt was cooler. At that point, I found the guys fun, and it seemed like a good time to sign up. Little did I know how quickly Emü would become self-indulgent. Fortunately, I met John Nolan after the Brand New show tonight. Finding ourselves in similar situations, we thought it would be a great idea to work together. Look forward to an album before Christmas.

Oh, the Emü idea of "wrestling" is really abducting third-grade boys from local schools and sodomizing them with a broom.

.....I don't remember sodomizing any third grade boys.

[Stompemplay]

I would like to be the new emu boy. I have many references, all which are fake. I have much experience (with devin's mom). I promise i won't leave like that attention and money-grubbing ass devin, and will remain eternily involved in emu, until the money runs out.

Oh, and if u let me join, ill finally copy and paste the umlaut.

[Ronin]

Originally posted by devin
More proof that Emü is just a marketing ploy: they act like it's a family, but don't even know that I have no sister.


THIS THREAD IS OVER

::slams door::

[BustaNutz]

Devin you have sex with your mom too! Everyone does, I have pictures to prove it! So it shouldn't be a surprise that Colin hooked up with Mama Silva (again).

As for wrestling third-graders and sodomizing them with brooms, that was YOU who did that, NOT US, and you only started after you flunked out of the convent. So stop being childish...

Oh yeah and if you thought it was bad being associated with Colin in all things you did, now with your solo career you'll face constant comparisons and associations to Beyonce Knowles, Justin Timberlake and Nick Carter. Have fun. :D

[Clarett'sGreyGoose]

Originally posted by BustaNutz
Devin you have sex with your mom too! Everyone does, I have pictures to prove it! So it shouldn't be a surprise that Colin hooked up with Mama Silva (again).

As for wrestling third-graders and sodomizing them with brooms, that was YOU who did that, NOT US, and you only started after you flunked out of the convent. So stop being childish...

Oh yeah and if you thought it was bad being associated with Colin in all things you did, now with your solo career you'll face constant comparisons and associations to Beyonce Knowles, Justin Timberlake and Nick Carter. Have fun. :D

hey...i was one of the first ones to join, when do i get to hook up with Mama Silva? or (the supposedly imaginary) "Sister" Silva?

[devin]

More evidence of Emü's lack of grounding in reality, they all claim to have fucked my mom, who died two years ago. Way to go assholes.

[Clarett'sGreyGoose]

Originally posted by devin
More evidence of Emü's lack of grounding in reality, they all claim to have fucked my mom, who died two years ago. Way to go assholes.

....If she died 2 years ago....why did you post pics of her??

[devin]

Originally posted by PlaysWithFire
....If she died 2 years ago....why did you post pics of her??

She's still my mother. I don't burn photos of people when they die. Nor do I lock them up and hide them from the world.

[Matthew]

i guess im kind of out of it... but what the hell is emu?

[Clarett'sGreyGoose]

Originally posted by devin
She's still my mother. I don't burn photos of people when they die. Nor do I lock them up and hide them from the world.

i didnt say you would do that, but if my mom was dead and was talking about her in the fashion that colin and pat have, i would have made it known. but thats just me.

[charly horse]

this is so sad.....the emu boys not being friends...so sad

[devin]

Originally posted by PlaysWithFire
i didnt say you would do that, but if my mom was dead and was talking about her in the fashion that colin and pat have, i would have made it known. but thats just me.

It wasn't bad when they were just like, "Dude, your mom's hot." But most of the posts in this thread have been about fucking my mom, which is kind of disturbing. As well as the fact that at least two people have such a quote in their sig. I think it's in poor taste and disrespectful. But, I like to focus on the positive. John and I wrote a track today, the working title is "Emü without the umlaut (The Poor Man's Ostrich)."

[Clarett'sGreyGoose]

Originally posted by devin
It wasn't bad when they were just like, "Dude, your mom's hot." But most of the posts in this thread have been about fucking my mom, which is kind of disturbing. As well as the fact that at least two people have such a quote in their sig. I think it's in poor taste and disrespectful. But, I like to focus on the positive. John and I wrote a track today, the working title is "Emü without the umlaut (The Poor Man's Ostrich)."

just to let you know, i found what Colin said in my sig humorous, and would have found it humorous even if he used Pat's mom. i just find the whole topic funny.

[devin]

Originally posted by Krammit
i think either Zach or Busta should be the new Emu kids, cuz theyre the best at randomly flaming all the little kids on the board

if thats whats involved, in being emu, of course

Pat already is a member. And if Zach's not all talk about the anarchy, then he probably would join the Free-Masons before Emü.

And you're right Jerry, no matter how many times I see someone talking about fucking my mom, it never gets old.

[Clarett'sGreyGoose]

Originally posted by devin
Pat already is a member. And if Zach's not all talk about the anarchy, then he probably would join the Free-Masons before Emü.

And you're right Jerry, no matter how many times I see someone talking about fucking my mom, it never gets old.

anyone fucking anyone's mom is a tireless subject.

[BigD]

Originally posted by PlaysWithFire
just to let you know, i found what Colin said in my sig humorous, and would have found it humorous even if he used Pat's mom.

[tmlfan]

Originally posted by FishAlotNBePunk
haha that was excellent! good luck Devin.

I got dibs on new emu boy no you don't i am so confused ahhh

[tmlfan]

Originally posted by FishAlotNBePunk
haha that was excellent! good luck Devin.

I got dibs on new emu boy no you don't i am so confused ahhh

[iglooXcore]

*sigh*

[Ronin]

Originally posted by tsunamiglory
*sigh*

You're still emu, right shannon?

[charly horse]

:(