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View Full Version : help with ending??


roggie1590
11/10/06, 07:37 PM
i know this sucks, but i tried...

i dont like the ending, that done and gone drive me crazy. any suggestions??



Forever

"we can beat this" it was said
it rang in my ears, in my soul, in my head
as my perfect world, a child's world
was shattered, forever dead

the trust was there
the faith was strong
yet suddenly all that could be was wrong
as my hero, my idol, my own older blood
was finally spent, and finally done

she lay in the coffin clutching the beads
that she said would save her
as she got on her knees
but why put the effort? why waste the time?
many would put their whole life on the line

my courage, my faith, my belief was done
forever had failed me, forever was gone.

sateendreem
11/10/06, 08:19 PM
To the end we all march on
Our battles someone'd say we won

A foreign feeling comes over me
My heart swelling to a size nearly all can see
As I say goodbye one last time
No one heard her cry

roggie1590
11/10/06, 08:24 PM
wow thats really good... it sums up what i was trying to say really well

thank you!!

sateendreem
11/10/06, 08:30 PM
wow thats really good... it sums up what i was trying to say really well

thank you!!

No problem I'm a writer it's what I do

Only I write screenplays