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HereUntilDeath
11/14/06, 12:07 PM
Blip, Blip, CRASH!!!

Waiting for you is my worst and last regret.
We talk and I feel like jump man, you just keep throwing barrels at me; change is the only point on which we agree.
I forgive you every time you get it wrong and do your act like Donkey Kong.

We talk on the phone but it’s not the same as before, you forget about me more and more, soon I’ll be as vague as your old favorite cartoon.

But you walk your last line with you and you’re lying. And like that kiss goodbye you’re just my most missed memory. And I am left with nothing but cold tears, a broken smile and a dial tone.

The third ring is the one that hurts the most. The first two are pure panic; the fourth is cut short by the smile in your voice. Did you realize it was me, or check caller I.D.?

We talk for an hour at a time, until you tell me goodbye, and I am left to think about the things you said and know you never meant those lies on your lips.

At the end of the week, as you stand next to me, I can see in your eyes that you are filled with surprise as I turn around and walk away. And you don’t stand a chance, not anymore, no not again.

I know it is pretty cliche...
Thoughts?

goyoyofosoco
11/14/06, 01:36 PM
It started off really weak, but, right around "but you walk your last line with you, and you're lying," it picked up pretty well.



It's not perfect, but, what is? Pleasantly surprised Yoda is.

HereUntilDeath
12/10/06, 09:51 PM
Thank you!
I really appreciate it...

xmy.only.exitx
12/13/06, 07:27 AM
i like it especially the last two lines.:-)

theMATEOlife
12/13/06, 11:35 AM
a bit confusing but definitely some good lines and ideas. work it as a draft and add to it.

keep it up.

fifpb99
12/13/06, 11:53 AM
Reminds me of a HelloGoodbye song lol

Edit: I think its because of that DK reference lol.