The Best and the Worst of Pick Up Lines

[PatHeTic_PUnK]

.::Best::.
(guy motions to girl, calling her over with a finger) guy(to girl) - Look i got you to come with one figer imagine what i could do with my entire hand...

[DreamOfWaking]

guy to a girl
Nie legs when do they open

[Tom Foolery]

The best pickup line I've ever heard was when I was having a conversation with this guy about oral sex and this other guy butted in and said how he LOVED to go down on a girl and how it was the best thing ever. It sure caught my attention.

[LoserFreak]

::Worst:: My friend said the his girlfriend ; Did you dad steal the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes?

I nearly choked from laughing , I had to go out the room.

[Jim Morgan]

was your daddy a baker? cause you've got a nice pair of buns

[the_champ_is_here]

Best: Hi, my name is ________, what's yours?

[Matthew]

the worst:

guy (named doug) to girl: hey, im doug. you know thats "god" backwards with a little bit of "u" wrapped up in it?

[ChineseNoodle13]

if you were a booger i'd pick you first...

[vintagepunk]

IF you were a porch i would take out all the screws and nail you. Works the other way 2

If you were a porch i would take out all the nails and screw you.

[tsunami_bomber]

occasionally when i meet a guy that looks good and isn't an idiot, i will tell them that they "melt my butter" in a sexy voice
i will know when a guy is "the one" when he replies "you pop my corn"
then we can go "make some popcorn"

[evil zach]

worst:I may not be the hottest guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

best:Nice shoes. Wamma fuck?

[asubtledaggerx]

Originally posted by evil zach
best:Nice shoes. Wamma fuck? [/B]

you took mine damnit.

[charly horse]

w00t

[Tom Foolery]

Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?


works with anything...(i.e. Do you have any German/French/Indian in you?)

[charly horse]

are you tired? no why? because youve been running through my mind all day

[charly horse]

rare you from tennesse cuz youre the only 10 i see

i lost my phone number can i have yours?

[Tom Foolery]

Did you wash your pants in Windex? Cuz I can really see myself in them.

[Jim Morgan]

Originally posted by evil zach
worst:

best:Nice shoes. Wamma fuck?

i never understood this one

i must be stupid

[Tom Foolery]

Originally posted by JimNFG
i never understood this one

i must be stupid

Ah...it's clever because it's not clever at all. It's so random. It could be, "Nice hat. Wanna fuck?" or "Cool shirt. Wanna fuck?" See?

[rockgirl741]

stupidest line: a guy says to a girl, can i see your tag? (he looks at it) then he says, just like i thought, made in heaven

guy: how do you like your eggs?
girl (shutting a guy down):unfertilized

[neverselected]

wanna go halves in a baby?

[Split2nd]

best : do you eat lucky charms because you're magically delicious

[Greg]

i was called a pimp when i went around to girls and just asked how they were doing. so i dont know. i dont really use pick up lines.

[MaybeOneDay]

Originally posted by Greg
i was called a pimp when i went around to girls and just asked how they were doing. so i dont know. i dont really use pick up lines.

u just use your sweet god given emo charm....correctomundo?

[neb nawoc]

You've got 206 bones in your body. Want one more?

Best. Line. Ever.

[fezwik80]

ive got a gun... bend over...

[DevilMayCare]

Originally posted by fezwik80
ive got a gun... bend over...
its not very romantic but it would work on me *sigh* maybe i should raise my standards

[RUFiOOOOOOO]

Originally posted by Matthew
the worst:

guy (named doug) to girl: hey, im doug. you know thats "god" backwards with a little bit of "u" wrapped up in it?

DUDE!!!!!!!!! MY FRIEND DOUG SAID THAT TOO!!!!! WOW! haha

[hot damn!]

If you were a bag of chips and I was a pack of batteries...........you'd be Frito Lay and I'd be Eveready :eek:

[Suprhatch614]

worst: see a girl across the bar and she sees you - walk up and say "our eyes have already met, but we haven't, I'm _____"

Best - Hey baby, You ever had your bootyhole tongued?

[WithStamin]

"Pardon me, but may I show you one way pork is acceptable during Passover?"

"Hey those are great pants - do you think I could get into them?"

"Is that a mirror in your pocket, 'cause i see myself in your pants later
tonite..."

"Is your dad a machanic, cause you got all the right parts."

"Oh my gosh! I lost my phone number....Can I have yours?"

man at table:so baby when do you get off?
waitress:oh around 10:30
man:can i watch?

Guy to girl: "May i have your phone number?"
Girl : "sure you can read it off the phone in the morning."

"Hey Baby, are you into saving the environment????
Cuz, we can conserve water and shower together..."

Dude: "Hey Baby, Buy you a drink?"
Chick: "Sure :)"
Dude: (Swing hip towards her) "Cool, The money's in my pocket."

"Say...Didn't..No..Yeah! Didn't we have sex before?"

"Hey Baby, if I told you I hated that dress, would you take it off?"

If a girl asks, "Do you have the time?" You say, "Yea, do you have the energy."

"You've been a bad girl ...go to my room!"

"You're so hot you make fire sweat!"

"You may not like me now....but you're drinking BEER"

"You know, you could use a little more protein in your diet....."

"If beauty was crime, you'd be in for life...."

"Wanna go halves on a baby?"

"Hey there, how would you like to wear those clothes to work tomorrow?"

"I love every muscle in your body .....especially mine"

"I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make the BED ROCK."

"If you were a booger, I would pick you first."

"Those clothes are very becoming on you. Then again if I were on you I'd be
cumming too!"

"Baby, when you walked in the door, I damn near grew a third leg"

"Told by a female to a male:
There are 3 ants in a jar. 1 female and 2 male. The female really wanted to
get out of the the jar so she asked one of the ants "Do you know how to get
out of this jar?"
He replied "I do! But if you really want to know you have to sleep with me
first"
She agrees, sleeps with him and the next morning she asked him again, "Now
will you tell me how to get out of this jar!!!"
He replies "NO!!" so she eats him.
Now she asks the second ant "Do you know how to get out of this jar?"
He replies "Yes, but since you slept with him you have to sleep with me then
I'll tell you"
She agrees, sleeps with him and the next morning asks him how to get out of
the jar. He doesn't tell her so she eats him.

So now tell me how does she get out of the jar?
Well if you don't know you are gonna have to sleep with me to find out!!!!!!"

"I'm a lesbian in a mans body"

"Hey baby wanna wrestle?"

"Do you mind if I come onto you?"

man getting a job application at an office:
man: hi, i'm interested in applying for a position here
secretary: what position are you interested in?
man: missionary.

"I've got the F, the C, and the K. Now all i need is U."

"I may not be the best looking one in here, but I'm the only one talking to
you."

"I couldn't help but notice I was staring at you...."

"You like Pop Tarts?
Because that's what we're having for breakfast tomorrow."

"Do you want a drink?
Well...get one for me while you're at it."

"Hi...my name's -------.
remember it...you'll be screaming it later."

"If I could be a tear...
to be born in your eye,
live on your cheek,
and die on your lips."

"If he doesn't show...I'll be over here."

"If you were in my dreams...I'd sleep forever."

Grab the chicks nose then say "I got your nose and I'm not giving it back
till I get your phone number."

My uncle's favorite pick up line:
"So, are you in second or third grade next year?"

"Hey Baby, I'm hung like a rhino and I suntan with only my socks on."

"Damn girl, you could knock the stuffin' off an egg McMuffin."

"HI I AM THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN STALKING YOU FOR THE LAST YEAR AND TRIED TO KILL
YOU 10 TIMES SO GO OUT WITH ME OR DIE."

"Since we're both alone, why don't we 'pretend' to leave together? That way
no one will think we were rejected and to make it even MORE realistic, you
can come to my place!!"

"If your left leg were Christmas, and your right leg were New Year's, could I come up between the holidays?"

"Would you mind if I think about you when I masturbate tonight?"

"I've got a mosquito on my inner thigh. Will you slap it for me?"

"Well, I know you're flexible, but can you put your head between my legs?"

"Let's go behind the trees and fuck like weasels!"

"Hey babe, wanna sample my dna?"

"Hey baby you must be a cambells soup girl, cause you look umm umm good."

"I've got a shiny new quarter hidden somewhere on my body...if you can find
it you can keep it!!!!"

Man- Do you want to play a game?
Woman- Sure...
Man- It's called Pearl Harbor, I lay down on the ground and you blow the shit
out of me.

"Hi, I've never done this before and I'm really nervous. I'm kind of shy, but
I just saw you from across the room and you seem like the kind of person it
might be nice to just sit down and say hello to. I mean, we could talk about
our mutual interests, get to know each other, and then we could fuck."

"What's a place like this doing around a girl like you?"

"You're so sexy, you make my ovaries spit eggs!"

"Hey, you know I paid for everything you drank tonight, don't you???"

"My! You have the nicest teeth I've ever hoped to come across!"

Do you want to see something swell?

[tmlfan]

i can't even begin to start

[andrew41]

bump into a girl and say : "if your boobs weren't so huge, THAT wouldn't have happened....

[PhillyPunk]

Originally posted by WithStamin
"Pardon me, but may I show you one way pork is acceptable during Passover?"

"Hey those are great pants - do you think I could get into them?"

"Is that a mirror in your pocket, 'cause i see myself in your pants later
tonite..."

"Is your dad a machanic, cause you got all the right parts."

"Oh my gosh! I lost my phone number....Can I have yours?"

man at table:so baby when do you get off?
waitress:oh around 10:30
man:can i watch?

Guy to girl: "May i have your phone number?"
Girl : "sure you can read it off the phone in the morning."

"Hey Baby, are you into saving the environment????
Cuz, we can conserve water and shower together..."

Dude: "Hey Baby, Buy you a drink?"
Chick: "Sure :)"
Dude: (Swing hip towards her) "Cool, The money's in my pocket."

"Say...Didn't..No..Yeah! Didn't we have sex before?"

"Hey Baby, if I told you I hated that dress, would you take it off?"

If a girl asks, "Do you have the time?" You say, "Yea, do you have the energy."

"You've been a bad girl ...go to my room!"

"You're so hot you make fire sweat!"

"You may not like me now....but you're drinking BEER"

"You know, you could use a little more protein in your diet....."

"If beauty was crime, you'd be in for life...."

"Wanna go halves on a baby?"

"Hey there, how would you like to wear those clothes to work tomorrow?"

"I love every muscle in your body .....especially mine"

"I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make the BED ROCK."

"If you were a booger, I would pick you first."

"Those clothes are very becoming on you. Then again if I were on you I'd be
cumming too!"

"Baby, when you walked in the door, I damn near grew a third leg"

"Told by a female to a male:
There are 3 ants in a jar. 1 female and 2 male. The female really wanted to
get out of the the jar so she asked one of the ants "Do you know how to get
out of this jar?"
He replied "I do! But if you really want to know you have to sleep with me
first"
She agrees, sleeps with him and the next morning she asked him again, "Now
will you tell me how to get out of this jar!!!"
He replies "NO!!" so she eats him.
Now she asks the second ant "Do you know how to get out of this jar?"
He replies "Yes, but since you slept with him you have to sleep with me then
I'll tell you"
She agrees, sleeps with him and the next morning asks him how to get out of
the jar. He doesn't tell her so she eats him.

So now tell me how does she get out of the jar?
Well if you don't know you are gonna have to sleep with me to find out!!!!!!"

"I'm a lesbian in a mans body"

"Hey baby wanna wrestle?"

"Do you mind if I come onto you?"

man getting a job application at an office:
man: hi, i'm interested in applying for a position here
secretary: what position are you interested in?
man: missionary.

"I've got the F, the C, and the K. Now all i need is U."

"I may not be the best looking one in here, but I'm the only one talking to
you."

"I couldn't help but notice I was staring at you...."

"You like Pop Tarts?
Because that's what we're having for breakfast tomorrow."

"Do you want a drink?
Well...get one for me while you're at it."

"Hi...my name's -------.
remember it...you'll be screaming it later."

"If I could be a tear...
to be born in your eye,
live on your cheek,
and die on your lips."

"If he doesn't show...I'll be over here."

"If you were in my dreams...I'd sleep forever."

Grab the chicks nose then say "I got your nose and I'm not giving it back
till I get your phone number."

My uncle's favorite pick up line:
"So, are you in second or third grade next year?"

"Hey Baby, I'm hung like a rhino and I suntan with only my socks on."

"Damn girl, you could knock the stuffin' off an egg McMuffin."

"HI I AM THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN STALKING YOU FOR THE LAST YEAR AND TRIED TO KILL
YOU 10 TIMES SO GO OUT WITH ME OR DIE."

"Since we're both alone, why don't we 'pretend' to leave together? That way
no one will think we were rejected and to make it even MORE realistic, you
can come to my place!!"

"If your left leg were Christmas, and your right leg were New Year's, could I come up between the holidays?"

"Would you mind if I think about you when I masturbate tonight?"

"I've got a mosquito on my inner thigh. Will you slap it for me?"

"Well, I know you're flexible, but can you put your head between my legs?"

"Let's go behind the trees and fuck like weasels!"

"Hey babe, wanna sample my dna?"

"Hey baby you must be a cambells soup girl, cause you look umm umm good."

"I've got a shiny new quarter hidden somewhere on my body...if you can find
it you can keep it!!!!"

Man- Do you want to play a game?
Woman- Sure...
Man- It's called Pearl Harbor, I lay down on the ground and you blow the shit
out of me.

"Hi, I've never done this before and I'm really nervous. I'm kind of shy, but
I just saw you from across the room and you seem like the kind of person it
might be nice to just sit down and say hello to. I mean, we could talk about
our mutual interests, get to know each other, and then we could fuck."

"What's a place like this doing around a girl like you?"

"You're so sexy, you make my ovaries spit eggs!"

"Hey, you know I paid for everything you drank tonight, don't you???"

"My! You have the nicest teeth I've ever hoped to come across!"

Do you want to see something swell?


those all fucking blow

[Doolittle]

Originally posted by nihilism
If you were a bag of chips and I was a pack of batteries...........you'd be Frito Lay and I'd be Eveready :eek:

well this explains why bill spends so many nights home online

[vintagepunk]

Originally posted by neb nawoc
You've got 206 bones in your body. Want one more?

Best. Line. Ever.
that is a damn good one.

Get on your knees and ill throw you a bone.

[FishAlotNBePunk]

Originally posted by WithStamin
"Pardon me, but may I show you one way pork is acceptable during Passover?"

"Hey those are great pants - do you think I could get into them?"

"Is that a mirror in your pocket, 'cause i see myself in your pants later
tonite..."

"Is your dad a machanic, cause you got all the right parts."

"Oh my gosh! I lost my phone number....Can I have yours?"

man at table:so baby when do you get off?
waitress:oh around 10:30
man:can i watch?

Guy to girl: "May i have your phone number?"
Girl : "sure you can read it off the phone in the morning."

"Hey Baby, are you into saving the environment????
Cuz, we can conserve water and shower together..."

Dude: "Hey Baby, Buy you a drink?"
Chick: "Sure :)"
Dude: (Swing hip towards her) "Cool, The money's in my pocket."

"Say...Didn't..No..Yeah! Didn't we have sex before?"

"Hey Baby, if I told you I hated that dress, would you take it off?"

If a girl asks, "Do you have the time?" You say, "Yea, do you have the energy."

"You've been a bad girl ...go to my room!"

"You're so hot you make fire sweat!"

"You may not like me now....but you're drinking BEER"

"You know, you could use a little more protein in your diet....."

"If beauty was crime, you'd be in for life...."

"Wanna go halves on a baby?"

"Hey there, how would you like to wear those clothes to work tomorrow?"

"I love every muscle in your body .....especially mine"

"I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make the BED ROCK."

"If you were a booger, I would pick you first."

"Those clothes are very becoming on you. Then again if I were on you I'd be
cumming too!"

"Baby, when you walked in the door, I damn near grew a third leg"

"Told by a female to a male:
There are 3 ants in a jar. 1 female and 2 male. The female really wanted to
get out of the the jar so she asked one of the ants "Do you know how to get
out of this jar?"
He replied "I do! But if you really want to know you have to sleep with me
first"
She agrees, sleeps with him and the next morning she asked him again, "Now
will you tell me how to get out of this jar!!!"
He replies "NO!!" so she eats him.
Now she asks the second ant "Do you know how to get out of this jar?"
He replies "Yes, but since you slept with him you have to sleep with me then
I'll tell you"
She agrees, sleeps with him and the next morning asks him how to get out of
the jar. He doesn't tell her so she eats him.

So now tell me how does she get out of the jar?
Well if you don't know you are gonna have to sleep with me to find out!!!!!!"

"I'm a lesbian in a mans body"

"Hey baby wanna wrestle?"

"Do you mind if I come onto you?"

man getting a job application at an office:
man: hi, i'm interested in applying for a position here
secretary: what position are you interested in?
man: missionary.

"I've got the F, the C, and the K. Now all i need is U."

"I may not be the best looking one in here, but I'm the only one talking to
you."

"I couldn't help but notice I was staring at you...."

"You like Pop Tarts?
Because that's what we're having for breakfast tomorrow."

"Do you want a drink?
Well...get one for me while you're at it."

"Hi...my name's -------.
remember it...you'll be screaming it later."

"If I could be a tear...
to be born in your eye,
live on your cheek,
and die on your lips."

"If he doesn't show...I'll be over here."

"If you were in my dreams...I'd sleep forever."

Grab the chicks nose then say "I got your nose and I'm not giving it back
till I get your phone number."

My uncle's favorite pick up line:
"So, are you in second or third grade next year?"

"Hey Baby, I'm hung like a rhino and I suntan with only my socks on."

"Damn girl, you could knock the stuffin' off an egg McMuffin."

"HI I AM THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN STALKING YOU FOR THE LAST YEAR AND TRIED TO KILL
YOU 10 TIMES SO GO OUT WITH ME OR DIE."

"Since we're both alone, why don't we 'pretend' to leave together? That way
no one will think we were rejected and to make it even MORE realistic, you
can come to my place!!"

"If your left leg were Christmas, and your right leg were New Year's, could I come up between the holidays?"

"Would you mind if I think about you when I masturbate tonight?"

"I've got a mosquito on my inner thigh. Will you slap it for me?"

"Well, I know you're flexible, but can you put your head between my legs?"

"Let's go behind the trees and fuck like weasels!"

"Hey babe, wanna sample my dna?"

"Hey baby you must be a cambells soup girl, cause you look umm umm good."

"I've got a shiny new quarter hidden somewhere on my body...if you can find
it you can keep it!!!!"

Man- Do you want to play a game?
Woman- Sure...
Man- It's called Pearl Harbor, I lay down on the ground and you blow the shit
out of me.

"Hi, I've never done this before and I'm really nervous. I'm kind of shy, but
I just saw you from across the room and you seem like the kind of person it
might be nice to just sit down and say hello to. I mean, we could talk about
our mutual interests, get to know each other, and then we could fuck."

"What's a place like this doing around a girl like you?"

"You're so sexy, you make my ovaries spit eggs!"

"Hey, you know I paid for everything you drank tonight, don't you???"

"My! You have the nicest teeth I've ever hoped to come across!"

Do you want to see something swell?

hahahaha those are classics

[Suprhatch614]

when you enter the real world and have to go to conventions and shit like that...start rubbing a girl right on top of her nametag and be all like "sorry thought it was brail" ehehehehehe ehheeeeee....got any gum?

if we were squirrels could i bust a nut in your hole

I like spaghetti, wanna fuck

I have an 11" penis
really
No, but i do have 50 dollars

I'm in a band
really which one
I'll tell you about it in the morning

[ifeelused]

Originally posted by neb nawoc
You've got 206 bones in your body. Want one more?

Best. Line. Ever.

yea that is my favorite

[evil zach]

i get it. you're talking about boners

[PatHeTic_PUnK]

From my boyfriend we were thinking... but its not a good one...

Hunny let me show you were the wild things go...
" " " " wild goose goes (super troopers)

[SnowintheSummer]

alright haha here i go... my friend who always jokes about making me "kiss my booboo" was like dammit, i bit my tongue, and i was want me to kiss it? haha so .. this could probobly be up for worst "i bit/hurt my tongue/lips/etc.., can you kiss it to make it better?"

[.&$]

worst(guy to girl)
Guy: hey baby, got tickets yet?
Girl: tickets? for what?
Guy(flexes his arms): The GUN show!

[kidinthecorner]

Originally posted by .&$
worst(guy to girl)
Guy: hey baby, got tickets yet?
Girl: tickets? for what?
Guy(flexes his arms): The GUN show!

What? That's not the worst! Its by far the best!!

[MaybeOneDay]

Originally posted by kidinthecorner
What? That's not the worst! Its by far the best!!

[DevilMayCare]

Originally posted by SnowintheSummer
alright haha here i go... my friend who always jokes about making me "kiss my booboo" was like dammit, i bit my tongue, and i was want me to kiss it? haha so .. this could probobly be up for worst "i bit/hurt my tongue/lips/etc.., can you kiss it to make it better?"
wow, once again a pick up line on here would work on me. i need to start raising the standards a little bit but i really cant help falling for the guy who trys

[SonnyPunk]

(Guy licks his finger and wipes it on girls shirt)
Guy: "Oh Im so sorry...come here, let me get you out of those wet clothes!"

[MaybeOneDay]

Originally posted by SonnyPunk
(Guy licks his finger and wipes it on girls shirt)
Guy: "Oh Im so sorry...come here, let me get you out of those wet clothes!"
haha