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View Full Version : I'm new! What do you think of these poems? Please reply.


ShelterFromCold
06/27/03, 06:20 PM
Hey guys. Please tell me what you guys think of these 3 poems. I've just started writing and I need some input. Thanks.



Blind Love Road

The road to love, is most often taken
But there are things, that we just don't see
The road to love, is often mistaken
For simple insecurity

It's spoken in all the common places
It's there to keep us up at night
It always follows, yet never chases
It hardens hearts, distorts our sight

So many people, have traveled that way
So many people, got caught in the fray
Always the case, when push turns to shove
Always the road, that leads to blind love


Break Up Day

You and I, were perfect together
You and I, were loving each moment

But time has moved on, these feelings grew old
The once hidden message, began to unfold
Unfold like the letter, you opened today
Unfold like my feelings, as they slipped away

Our world has stopped turning, our lives aren't the same
Our trust for eachother, has turned into shame
Shame like the hurt, I see in your eyes
Shame like my pride, I covered with lies

There's room to recover, there's others out there
We have more to give, we have more to share

We stand here alone, with nothing to say
Left speechless and hurt, on this break up day


From Start To Finish

Sooner or later, way back when
I think of my youth and my life back then
Youth and innocence had meant much more
Childish dreams were what I adored

Times like those have left me spinning
Should have savored life since beginning
How I wish those days were back
So I could know what not to lack

This life gets shorter day by day
The colors slowly fade to gray
As these days beign to diminish
I ponder my life from start to finish

ohreak gurl 08
06/28/03, 06:23 PM
i like. they're good. and they flow nicely when you read them. keep writing

punk_rock_poet
06/29/03, 10:52 AM
i love ur writting! ur really good and u sound like someone i know.