PDA

View Full Version : Revealed (Vacant Face, Hollow Eyes) Please post opinions of my writings, thanks


b2485
06/30/03, 11:42 AM
Revealed (Vacant Face, Hollow Eyes)





As the silent glance passes the road again

it's so hard to tell the emotion

of a vacant face

The same face the was once looked at differently

in a way never understood

in an empty space

Struggling for the last gasp possible

before settling for something less

than what was ever seen

The vacant face begins to shine and

the hollow eyes that never were there anyway

beging to show what you mean...

When you said "It's too late"

Mr.Melody
06/30/03, 05:39 PM
it doesn't exactly subscribe to the verse chorus verse bridge tried and and tested method of songwriting. Maybe the person was trying to be 'arty' or something and create a different idealism, but I am afraid they failed miserably at whatever they attempted to achieve. I'll be frank: the 'song' sucks balls - I mean what the fuck, a vacant face?! dude, get your shit together and churn out some singable words, i wouldn't give that shit the time of day

b2485
07/02/03, 09:12 AM
Haha, thanks for the constructive criticism...right. Listen to Norma Jean and then tell me evcerything has to be verse chorus verse. Expand your horizons...

punkrocprincess
07/02/03, 11:04 AM
interesting song. where did you get your inspiration for it?