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Greg
12/01/06, 11:10 PM
this belongs on a livejournal... but i dont care

anyways, here goes, this is what is bugging me.

basically a guy from my church became a really good friend of mine. people around here would say he was my leader at the church. you could also use friend/mentor/counselor/etc. basically he helped me get through a ton of crap. more than i want to get into with this post. but basically he was the freaking man. and we would see each other 4 times a week usually and we always had good times. we had been through a lot together. we were great friends for just over 2 years.

during one point i was having a hard time. i think it was a couple months after my brother had died and it was the 6th year since my dad died. and i was just feeling really down. and (this is so cliche im sorry haha) i put the lyrics to Boulevard of Broken Dreams in my AIM away message. more importantly i had the words... "sometimes i wish someone out there will find me." in there.... and he responded "cliche line of encouragement then 'consider yourself found brother' " and 3 months later he quit his job at the church.

which would be fine. you dont have to have to same job forever. but when he quit... he deleted his AIM (he told us this himself), only appeared at a few grad parties in June, and wasn't seen again until new years eve when he had us over for a lil visit. then he disappeared again. he randomly hung out with us in late May. then in early June i got a call from him which involved "hey man. can you watch my dog tomorrow?" which honestly i would have done but i was going to FLorida the next day. but looking back... it really bothered me the only time he had called me in a year was to watch his dog.

now you may be thinking... "well Greg, did you try calling him?" the answer is: yes. many times with never getting a return call. i even tried email to no success.

and all this is constantly on my mind the past month or more. for various reasons. and then tonight i was watching videos of all the times we have spent together. i am just so bummed out right now. i try to figure out how someone i repsected and admired and loved so much could just walk away from me. i'm not saying it was easy for him.... but damn man, freaking respond to your emails atleast.

i don't know what to do. sorry for this being so freaking long. i just needed to get it out. i think i'm going to call him tomorrow. and just try to forget that he walked away. try to mend things. i don't know.

sayyes
12/01/06, 11:17 PM
sucks man.....if he's a good enough guy there is a reasonable explanation

ndtitr
12/02/06, 12:03 AM
Doesnt sound like a reliable friend/mentor to me man. Don't get to down man there are true friends out there that won't let you down just keep searching.

Fedaykin
12/02/06, 12:17 PM
this has happened to me
my best friend of 10 years up and moved and changed his number and everything and we haven't spoken in over two years
sometimes people can't deal and you learn they aren't who you thought they were
and that's sad

Greg
12/04/06, 07:16 AM
so i called him on saturday. he didn't pick up. surprise, surprise. but i left a voicemail. i'm giving him a week to respond. then i'll stop caring for good.

sdbrown
12/04/06, 09:06 AM
It's a bastard thing to do, but he might be distancing himself from you because he's going through tough times and, since he was always seen as the strong one (being there for you when you were down) he may not be able to take being the "weak"er one. He may be lost inside his own mind for what it's worth, which, although it's not easy for you, I'm sure isn't easy for him either.

Greg
12/14/06, 10:50 PM
It's a bastard thing to do, but he might be distancing himself from you because he's going through tough times and, since he was always seen as the strong one (being there for you when you were down) he may not be able to take being the "weak"er one. He may be lost inside his own mind for what it's worth, which, although it's not easy for you, I'm sure isn't easy for him either.
i've considered that.

and an update... he called me last wednesday. was going out of town for the weekend so couldnt hang out. said he'd call early next week. its not officially friday.... so...... i dont know

needles & pins
12/15/06, 12:57 AM
A friend of mine did this to me. I basically considered her my best friend, the one I could go to and we were always really close then she started distancing herself from our entire group of friends. She started becoming more distant when she got a new boyfriend, but she still hung out and everything, then college rolled around and things were okay, but then she stopped calling, IMing, and basically broke off contact with everyone. Now whenever any one of my friends runs into her, she either acts really cold or ignores us completely. It's just so weird because of how she just completely broke off contact and basically disregarded everything we had ever been through together.

I was upset for a while and I even tried being angry about it, but nothing really helps with the situation and I know I won't really be able to get closure because of how she's just cut everyone off. I just don't know anymore, I gave up. It's just a bad situation to be in. I know how you feel.

xxpaigiexx
12/15/06, 06:17 AM
Give him a chance to explain himself and if he's excuse is good then give your friendship another go but if he's reason isn't good and he's being an arsehole, really he's not worth the time of day.

Good luckz
xxx