Loneliness

[FieryWolf88]

This is a poem that I wrote a long time ago, but it's just now seeing the light of day. I wrote it for a few reasons at the same time, so it really doesn't seem to address any other problem then being lonely and abandoned. (That has happened to me more than once.) I just wanted to know what you guys thought about it.

Loneliness is like a disease
It eats its way through your heart
It’s something you can’t simply shake
Your life feels like it’s falling apart
You wish things were different
That you didn’t feel the way you do
The depression you feel deep within
Makes you wish you never knew
The loneliness that’s haunting you
That’s made its way inside
There’s no way to mask the pain
That reflects itself in your eyes
The loneliness isn’t just there
It effects every emotion you ever feel
And the pain is buried so deep
It seems the scar will never heal
Loneliness is like a disease
It eats its way through your heart
It’s something you can’t simply shake
Your life feels like it’s falling apart

~FieryWolf88

[ForeverInADay]

ahhhh big, bold, italic font!

[IAmAmazing]

ahhhh big, bold, italic font!
hahaha, I guess she wanted to incease the drama of it? :shrug:

[Melissa Johnson]

We have this little forum called the "Poetry Forum" a few ways down from this one. No one really visits it, because most people don't care about girls like you who write shitty poetry, so either forum you use, no one cares.

-10 N00b points for getting the wrong forum.
-15 N00b points for thinking we'd care about your really awful poetry.

[Logan95]

We have this little forum called the "Poetry Forum" a few ways down from this one. No one really visits it, because most people don't care about girls like you who write shitty poetry, so either forum you use, no one cares.

-10 N00b points for getting the wrong forum.
-15 N00b points for thinking we'd care about your really awful poetry.

OH SNAP!

[IAmAmazing]

We have this little forum called the "Poetry Forum" a few ways down from this one. No one really visits it, because most people don't care about girls like you who write shitty poetry, so either forum you use, no one cares.

-10 N00b points for getting the wrong forum.
-15 N00b points for thinking we'd care about your really awful poetry.
<3

[love_american_style]

We have this little forum called the "Poetry Forum" a few ways down from this one. No one really visits it, because most people don't care about girls like you who write shitty poetry, so either forum you use, no one cares.

-10 N00b points for getting the wrong forum.
-15 N00b points for thinking we'd care about your really awful poetry.

POND

[ForeverInADay]

POND

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

- ForeverInADay

[love_american_style]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

- ForeverInADay

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

....memories of other threads

[melvicious]

pond me

[IAmAmazing]

POND
hahahaha

[FieryWolf88]

It's not a shitty poem, it's actually been published before. Not that any of you would even understand where the feeling is coming from, seeing as most of you take a very serious poem for a joke to talk about "ponds" and make fun of someones ability to put their feelings into a form of art. But thanks for your opinion. *SARCASM* And pardon me for not knowing about the poetry forum, I've only been on here for a few day.
As for the font, that would happen to be the font that it was in on my computer. I didn't bother changing it. It wasn't for the drama.

[DroppedUrPocket]

Being published in the school newspaper does not count.

[Shatter590]

and the waitress is practicing politics
while the businessmen slowly get stoned
theyre all sharing a drink they call loneliness
but its better than drinkin alone

[DeadCityScars]

this has to be fake.

[Melissa Johnson]

Being published in the school newspaper does not count.

Nor does any teen magazine publication (teen vouge, seventeen, etc) or that place that advertises via spam mail and e-mail telling you to submit a poem so they get you to buy the $50 book.

[forgotten_emo]

and the waitress is practicing politics
while the businessmen slowly get stoned
theyre all sharing a drink they call loneliness
but its better than drinkin alone

hahahahaha thats pretty funny

[DroppedUrPocket]

Nor does any teen magazine publication (teen vouge, seventeen, etc) or that place that advertises via spam mail and e-mail telling you to submit a poem so they get you to buy the $50 book.

here here.

[forgotten_emo]

its a pretty good poem i think but thats just my opinion

[FieryWolf88]

I haven't been published in the school newspaper. It was my fourth time through Creative Communications. It goes through a contest and if the judges believe that it is of high merit, then they publish it. I have seven different letters saying that my poems have been accepted to be published.
And as for DeadCityScars, you wouldn't know poetry if it bit you in the ass.

~FieryWolf88

[FieryWolf88]

its a pretty good poem i think but thats just my opinion

Thank you, finally someone can recognize good poetry.

[bobbo8]

Thank you, finally someone can recognize good poetry.
No, someones just as dumb as you.

[DeadCityScars]

No, someones just as dumb as you.
j∂

[bobbo8]

j∂
huh?

[Randal Graves]

Haha, this site fucking sucks

[Stitches]

We have this little forum called the "Poetry Forum" a few ways down from this one. No one really visits it, because most people don't care about girls like you who write shitty poetry, so either forum you use, no one cares.

-10 N00b points for getting the wrong forum.
-15 N00b points for thinking we'd care about your really awful poetry.
First of all, you get infinite bitch points because I can tell you are. And then second, you get infinite dumbass points because if you'll notice. She posted in "Personal Life." Then she stated that her poem was based on personal experiences. So really, the poem could have been posted in poetry forum or personal life forum. Just because you're big and bad online doesn't mean you have to be an asshole. Get over yourself.
and the waitress is practicing politics
while the businessmen slowly get stoned
theyre all sharing a drink they call loneliness
but its better than drinkin alone
You're just condoning to the problem. And you're just as bad; Pathetic! And Melissa Johnson, this is the type of crap you should be bashing, not that poem.
this has to be fake.
You don't know what you're talking about
No, someones just as dumb as you.
No, I actually think that someone's just as smart as her! You all are the dumbasses. And no, I didn't just call you fish.

Basically, this poem rocks! It's been published, and not by the specifications that you guys said. (school newspaper or whatever else you said) You guys are just looking for an excuse to make yourselves feel better. Get over it. She writes good poetry, and most of you only bashed her because you thought she put it in the wrong forum. JUST SHUT THE HELL UP

[Melissa Johnson]

First of all, you get infinite bitch points because I can tell you are. And then second, you get infinite dumbass points because if you'll notice. She posted in "Personal Life." Then she stated that her poem was based on personal experiences. So really, the poem could have been posted in poetry forum or personal life forum. Just because you're big and bad online doesn't mean you have to be an asshole. Get over yourself.

You're just condoning to the problem. And you're just as bad; Pathetic! And Melissa Johnson, this is the type of crap you should be bashing, not that poem.

You don't know what you're talking about

No, I actually think that someone's just as smart as her! You all are the dumbasses. And no, I didn't just call you fish.

Basically, this poem rocks! It's been published, and not by the specifications that you guys said. (school newspaper or whatever else you said) You guys are just looking for an excuse to make yourselves feel better. Get over it. She writes good poetry, and most of you only bashed her because you thought she put it in the wrong forum. JUST SHUT THE HELL UP
1. She DID put it in the wrong forum. It's poetry. You have 1 post, I have a red name. Hi I'm a staff member, I know what goes where on this website, so STFU.
2. Why would I diss what Shatter wrote? That's not even his work. It's lyrics from quite possibly one of the greatest songs written in pop-music. It's Billy Joel's Piano Man. Of course, you probably listen to crap, so you wouldn't know a good oldie tune, or a Billy Joel song, if it bit you in the ass and gave you anal herpes.
3. ANYONE can write a half-assed poem and get published in one of those things. ANYONE. I did it all the time when I was 12 for the helluvit. Unless she's getting her own book of poems published ala Robert Frost, Odgen Nash, Shel Silverstein, etc, or the place that's "publishing" her poems is actually a really nationally-recognized organization or publisher (and you'd know if it was because you'd more than likely recognize the name of the place) then it's nothing to brag.

[Melissa Johnson]

hahahahaha thats pretty funny
Billy Joel is funny how?

The stupidity of newer users and their lack of knowledge of music from the 60's and 70's astounds me.
Their motto seems to be "If it ain't Fall Out Boy/Aiden/MCR/Silverstein/Any other shitty screamo, it ain't worth a listen."

[ForeverInADay]

First of all, you get infinite bitch points because I can tell you are. And then second, you get infinite dumbass points because if you'll notice. She posted in "Personal Life." Then she stated that her poem was based on personal experiences. So really, the poem could have been posted in poetry forum or personal life forum. Just because you're big and bad online doesn't mean you have to be an asshole. Get over yourself.

You're just condoning to the problem. And you're just as bad; Pathetic! And Melissa Johnson, this is the type of crap you should be bashing, not that poem.

You don't know what you're talking about

No, I actually think that someone's just as smart as her! You all are the dumbasses. And no, I didn't just call you fish.

Basically, this poem rocks! It's been published, and not by the specifications that you guys said. (school newspaper or whatever else you said) You guys are just looking for an excuse to make yourselves feel better. Get over it. She writes good poetry, and most of you only bashed her because you thought she put it in the wrong forum. JUST SHUT THE HELL UP
hahahaha you're a phaygett.

[Stitches]

1. She DID put it in the wrong forum. It's poetry. You have 1 post, I have a red name. Hi I'm a staff member, I know what goes where on this website, so STFU.
2. Why would I diss what Shatter wrote? That's not even his work. It's lyrics from quite possibly one of the greatest songs written in pop-music. It's Billy Joel's Piano Man. Of course, you probably listen to crap, so you wouldn't know a good oldie tune, or a Billy Joel song, if it bit you in the ass and gave you anal herpes.
3. ANYONE can write a half-assed poem and get published in one of those things. ANYONE. I did it all the time when I was 12 for the helluvit. Unless she's getting her own book of poems published ala Robert Frost, Odgen Nash, Shel Silverstein, etc, or the place that's "publishing" her poems is actually a really nationally-recognized organization or publisher (and you'd know if it was because you'd more than likely recognize the name of the place) then it's nothing to brag.
So what if you're a staff member. (oh, wow, you have red letters. You must be so cool in the REAL world) In any case, you're not a very good staff member. Maybe you're new to the whole thing, but that's besides the point. Just becuase you say it's in the wrong forum, doesn't mean it is. It just makes you a bitch for bashing something that wrote something from the heart. And the fact that you ARE a staff member makes you worse than everyone else. And No, you're right, I didn't know that that was Billie Joel's "Piano Man." Frankly, that's irrelevent as well. I don't listen to Billie Joel and you're entitled to your opinion about good taste in music, but bashing someone's poetry is wrong to begin with. And it's stupid to say that just because she isn't as well known as Robert Frost and Shel Silverstein means that she's no good. And I'm glad that you got your poetry published when you were 12 because you still act like you're 12. Once again: You need to get over yourself! I would write more but then this would become too redundant. I don't know why I bother: That one guy who said this site was lame was right. You guys don't even know what you're talking about.

[ForeverInADay]

So what if you're a staff member. (oh, wow, you have red letters. You must be so cool in the REAL world) In any case, you're not a very good staff member. Maybe you're new to the whole thing, but that's besides the point. Just becuase you say it's in the wrong forum, doesn't mean it is. It just makes you a bitch for bashing something that wrote something from the heart. And the fact that you ARE a staff member makes you worse than everyone else. And No, you're right, I didn't know that that was Billie Joel's "Piano Man." Frankly, that's irrelevent as well. I don't listen to Billie Joel and you're entitled to your opinion about good taste in music, but bashing someone's poetry is wrong to begin with. And it's stupid to say that just because she isn't as well known as Robert Frost and Shel Silverstein means that she's no good. And I'm glad that you got your poetry published when you were 12 because you still act like you're 12. Once again: You need to get over yourself! I would write more but then this would become too redundant. I don't know why I bother: That one guy who said this site was lame was right. You guys don't even know what you're talking about.

.......you paint your nails and wear eye liner.....

[Stitches]

Since 1993 Creative Communication has sponsored writing contests for students across the United States and Canada. By sponsoring poetry and essay contests we have become a partner with thousands of teachers in promoting writing to the youth of today. We receive hundreds of letters each year thanking us for providing an extra spark in the classroom that helps teachers motivate their students. Each year we award tens of thousands of dollars to young writers in awards and to schools in grants. Teachers who have five or more students accepted in an individual contest will also receive a free copy of the anthology that includes their students. Schools with exceptional entries qualify to apply for one of our language arts grants.

The best poems and essays are invited to be published in our anthologies. The philosophy for our anthology is that we are selective so that it is an honor to be included, but not so exclusive that it is discouraging to enter. This results in our accepting about 45% of the entries. There are no entry fees, and no required purchase to be in the anthology or the contest.

Please browse our website if you would like to find out more information about our contests. We are teachers helping teachers. Please contact us if you have any questions.


So it may not be nationally known. But at least it's probably not one of those second rate publishing companies you sent yours into, Miss Staff Member. So no, You STFU! Oh and by the way, our school is up for nomination for a grant to the language arts program because of the number and quality of her poems she's had published. Deal with it!

[Melissa Johnson]

So what if you're a staff member. (oh, wow, you have red letters. You must be so cool in the REAL world) In any case, you're not a very good staff member. Maybe you're new to the whole thing, but that's besides the point. Just becuase you say it's in the wrong forum, doesn't mean it is. It just makes you a bitch for bashing something that wrote something from the heart. And the fact that you ARE a staff member makes you worse than everyone else. And No, you're right, I didn't know that that was Billie Joel's "Piano Man." Frankly, that's irrelevent as well. I don't listen to Billie Joel and you're entitled to your opinion about good taste in music, but bashing someone's poetry is wrong to begin with. And it's stupid to say that just because she isn't as well known as Robert Frost and Shel Silverstein means that she's no good. And I'm glad that you got your poetry published when you were 12 because you still act like you're 12. Once again: You need to get over yourself! I would write more but then this would become too redundant. I don't know why I bother: That one guy who said this site was lame was right. You guys don't even know what you're talking about.\
You're entertaining for me.
-It IS the wrong forum. It's poetry, therefore it goes in the poetry forum, whether or not she denoted that it was from a "personal experience." The personal life forum is to seek advice on a health/family/friend related issue, not poetry. If she hadn't chosen this forum, and instead chosen the poetry forum, she could have still wrote that it was inspired by a personal event/experience.
- Welcome to the Personal Life forum. Half of these posts are joke posts anyway in here, so kids will act like assholes, especially in cases like this where it's something that doesn't belong. If she posts on this messageboard, which is a public forum, she's going to get opinions back. I gave mine. Giving my opinion and also noting to her that we have a poetry forum that would better suit her (and would also save her from the ridicule of kids in this particular forum) was doing my job as a staff member.
- I'm the shit in the real world. Seriously. Ask anyone.
- The song being Billy Joel IS relevant. You called him out for posting it and then said I should attack him for posting it, assuming that it was his own poetry. You didn't know the song. You tried attacking a kid thinking it was his own work. I called you out on not knowing. Relevant.
- I don't know many 12 year olds that hold down a full time student gig of 18 credit hours and 40 hour work weeks. People at my age who act like 12 year olds don't have jobs, don't go to school (or flunking out of it) and drink like they're going to bring back the Prohibition.
- I'll get over myself when you bring a credible argument to the table.
- This site is a music news website first and foremost. You're hanging out in the Personal Life forum which, once again, is mostly fake accounts made to provide fake posts for entertainment, of course it's going to be stupid. Go search the rest of the site. There's better content, like music news, reviews, and interviews and serious debates and discussions.

[Melissa Johnson]

Since 1993 Creative Communication has sponsored writing contests for students across the United States and Canada. By sponsoring poetry and essay contests we have become a partner with thousands of teachers in promoting writing to the youth of today. We receive hundreds of letters each year thanking us for providing an extra spark in the classroom that helps teachers motivate their students. Each year we award tens of thousands of dollars to young writers in awards and to schools in grants. Teachers who have five or more students accepted in an individual contest will also receive a free copy of the anthology that includes their students. Schools with exceptional entries qualify to apply for one of our language arts grants.

The best poems and essays are invited to be published in our anthologies. The philosophy for our anthology is that we are selective so that it is an honor to be included, but not so exclusive that it is discouraging to enter. This results in our accepting about 45% of the entries. There are no entry fees, and no required purchase to be in the anthology or the contest.

Please browse our website if you would like to find out more information about our contests. We are teachers helping teachers. Please contact us if you have any questions.


So it may not be nationally known. But at least it's probably not one of those second rate publishing companies you sent yours into, Miss Staff Member. So no, You STFU! Oh and by the way, our school is up for nomination for a grant to the language arts program because of the number and quality of her poems she's had published. Deal with it!
Haha my "poetry" was one liners I did so I could gain access to a website I was registered on at the time. I had better things to do at that age, like swimming, diving, soccer leagues, and academic contests.

[Stitches]

Haha my "poetry" was one liners I did so I could gain access to a website I was registered on at the time. I had better things to do at that age, like swimming, diving, soccer leagues, and academic contests.
And now you spend your time bashing 16 year olds for posting in the wrong forum. Bravo. You've really come a long way. And in that sense, you lied. You've never done it yourself. You just said that you've only had one-liners so you can gain access to a WEBSITE. And assuming that you lied, there's no telling weather or not you even did the whole one-liner thing...
\
- I'm the shit in the real world. Seriously. Ask anyone.
- I don't know many 12 year olds that hold down a full time student gig of 18 credit hours and 40 hour work weeks. People at my age who act like 12 year olds don't have jobs, don't go to school (or flunking out of it) and drink like they're going to bring back the Prohibition.
- This site is a music news website first and foremost. You're hanging out in the Personal Life forum which, once again, is mostly fake accounts made to provide fake posts for entertainment, of course it's going to be stupid. Go search the rest of the site. There's better content, like music news, reviews, and interviews and serious debates and discussions.
As for being "the shit," I highly doubt that since you spend so much time on here. And truthfully, there's no telling how old you really are: You have your profile on private! So since I've already established that you lie, it's completely possible that you're just some sad high school or junior high student who's looking to act grown-up. And don't get me wrong, I'm not accusing you of being a high school student. It's also possible you're in college like you claim. But I said that you ACT like a 12 year old and that's where the assumption came from.

[Jason Tate]

And now you spend your time bashing 16 year olds for posting in the wrong forum. Bravo. You've really come a long way. And in that sense, you lied. You've never done it yourself. You just said that you've only had one-liners so you can gain access to a WEBSITE. And assuming that you lied, there's no telling weather or not you even did the whole one-liner thing...

As for being "the shit," I highly doubt that since you spend so much time on here. And truthfully, there's no telling how old you really are: You have your profile on private! So since I've already established that you lie, it's completely possible that you're just some sad high school or junior high student who's looking to act grown-up. And don't get me wrong, I'm not accusing you of being a high school student. It's also possible you're in college like you claim. But I said that you ACT like a 12 year old and that's where the assumption came from.
Uh, that poem reads like a Hawthorne Heights B-side.

It's not good.

I've had my work published by a variety of different publishers, and have a deal finalized with a publishing company for any work I do in the future.

If you actually think "loneliness" is "good" writing -- you need help (or maybe as you get older you'll get smarter).

[Jason Tate]

Since 1993 Creative Communication has sponsored writing contests for students across the United States and Canada. By sponsoring poetry and essay contests we have become a partner with thousands of teachers in promoting writing to the youth of today. We receive hundreds of letters each year thanking us for providing an extra spark in the classroom that helps teachers motivate their students. Each year we award tens of thousands of dollars to young writers in awards and to schools in grants. Teachers who have five or more students accepted in an individual contest will also receive a free copy of the anthology that includes their students. Schools with exceptional entries qualify to apply for one of our language arts grants.

The best poems and essays are invited to be published in our anthologies. The philosophy for our anthology is that we are selective so that it is an honor to be included, but not so exclusive that it is discouraging to enter. This results in our accepting about 45% of the entries. There are no entry fees, and no required purchase to be in the anthology or the contest.

Please browse our website if you would like to find out more information about our contests. We are teachers helping teachers. Please contact us if you have any questions.


So it may not be nationally known. But at least it's probably not one of those second rate publishing companies you sent yours into, Miss Staff Member. So no, You STFU! Oh and by the way, our school is up for nomination for a grant to the language arts program because of the number and quality of her poems she's had published. Deal with it!
Hahaha, that's the same place that published my sister's poetry --- and then tried to sell her a book of it later.

Scam.

[Melissa Johnson]

And now you spend your time bashing 16 year olds for posting in the wrong forum. Bravo. You've really come a long way. And in that sense, you lied. You've never done it yourself. You just said that you've only had one-liners so you can gain access to a WEBSITE. And assuming that you lied, there's no telling weather or not you even did the whole one-liner thing...

As for being "the shit," I highly doubt that since you spend so much time on here. And truthfully, there's no telling how old you really are: You have your profile on private! So since I've already established that you lie, it's completely possible that you're just some sad high school or junior high student who's looking to act grown-up. And don't get me wrong, I'm not accusing you of being a high school student. It's also possible you're in college like you claim. But I said that you ACT like a 12 year old and that's where the assumption came from.
Even if it was poetry at 12, it'd be awful poetry. Really awful. Why? Because at 12, you're inexperienced and anything you write probably pertains to life is going to be laughable. I did write it at 12, my teacher at the time encouraged it. I proved that any place that "publishes" poetry like that could be a scam and will take anything that is submitted to them to get money. Even if the publication is somewhat credited, they'll take anything. Even if you provided the fact that they accept "45%" of submissions, I guarantee you I could half-ass a poem and they'd accept it.

You have to have a certain IQ to be able to see my profile. I'm a sophomore in college. At her age I was in academic contests that were giving my school grants. It's nothing to brag about. A school can get a grant for practically anything. Basically, you're friend is no poetic genius that you're holding her on a pedestal to be. Sorry to say. Her writing can be found on thousands of teenage girl Livejournals everywhere, hell they can even be found on hundreds of teenage girls' AP jourals here.

[LostSymphonies]

Even if it was poetry at 12, it'd be awful poetry. Really awful. Why? Because at 12, you're inexperienced and anything you write probably pertains to life is going to be laughable. I did write it at 12, my teacher at the time encouraged it. I proved that any place that "publishes" poetry like that could be a scam and will take anything that is submitted to them to get money. Even if the publication is somewhat credited, they'll take anything. Even if you provided the fact that they accept "45%" of submissions, I guarantee you I could half-ass a poem and they'd accept it.

You have to have a certain IQ to be able to see my profile. I'm a sophomore in college. At her age I was in academic contests that were giving my school grants. It's nothing to brag about. A school can get a grant for practically anything. Basically, you're friend is no poetic genius that you're holding her on a pedestal to be. Sorry to say. Her writing can be found on thousands of teenage girl Livejournals everywhere, hell they can even be found on hundreds of teenage girls' AP jourals here.


i'm not saying that the poem was good, cuz it wasnt, and it is in the wrong forum. i really think you get some sick pleasure out of making people feel like shit. quit being such biotch and just let it go already. atleast she is taking the time to write..most kids these days dont do shit

[Jason Tate]

i'm not saying that the poem was good, cuz it wasnt, and it is in the wrong forum. i really think you get some sick pleasure out of making people feel like shit. quit being such biotch and just let it go already. atleast she is taking the time to write..most kids these days dont do shit
Why are you jumping on her for saying it was bad? You think people shouldn't be allowed to critique work put in a public forum? Come on. Read 98% of the threads posted in the poetry forum and you'll find far worse "bashing" than what took place.

And it was posted in the personal life forum -- a forum where people go JUST to make fun of other people. Half the stuff in that forum is from fake accounts for a laugh. :rolleyes:

I applaud her for taking the time to write - I really do - but I think that stern criticism is healthy at a young age to foster better work in the future. It helped my writing more than I can describe. But until you get away from "loneliness is like a disease" metaphors (which has been used far too often (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&hs=4dW&q=%22loneliness+is+like+a+disease%2 2&btnG=Search)), you really don't have much hope.

[LostSymphonies]

Why are you jumping on her for saying it was bad? You think people shouldn't be allowed to critique work put in a public forum? Come on. Read 98% of the threads posted in the poetry forum and you'll find far worse "bashing" than what took place.

And it was posted in the personal life forum -- a forum where people go JUST to make fun of other people. Half the stuff in that forum is from fake accounts for a laugh. :rolleyes:

I applaud her for taking the time to write - I really do - but I think that stern criticism is healthy at a young age to foster better work in the future. It helped my writing more than I can describe. But until you get away from "loneliness is like a disease" metaphors (which has been used far too often (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&hs=4dW&q=%22loneliness+is+like+a+disease%2 2&btnG=Search)), you really don't have much hope.

yeah that is very true, i just thought it was a little harsh than what was needed..a simple.."that needs some work, alittle more creativity" is much more effective criticism

[Jason Tate]

yeah that is very true, i just thought it was a little harsh than what was needed..a simple.."that needs some work, alittle more creativity" is much more effective criticism
Probably true. I think after the plethora of "shit" that gets posted in these forums though -- some that read them more often than others (like the regular users, mods, etc.) they have lost any semblance of "tact." :shrug:

[Melissa Johnson]

i'm not saying that the poem was good, cuz it wasnt, and it is in the wrong forum. i really think you get some sick pleasure out of making people feel like shit. quit being such biotch and just let it go already. atleast she is taking the time to write..most kids these days dont do shit
I'm just as blunt and sarcastic off of the website as I am on it. She posted it. I gave it a critique, so did other users.
I get "bad critiques" all of the time for stuff I post on AP, and from writing I've done in college by professors. Guess what I do? For the users of AP: write more to piss them off or find better stuff to post, for school I rewrite everything until there's nothing left to bash about it. In one of my Writing and Rhetoric papers I rewrote it 5 different times before my teacher finally accepted it. Was it bad? No. He wanted more from me and to teach me to grow as a writer, find more information (so I'd learn more about what I was writing) and to learn to write from different angles. Was I pissed about the critiques he gave? A little, but I sure as hell learned a shitload from it and grew as a writer, I even tried signing up for his next level writing class for the spring, but it was full and I was given another instructor.

[Jason Tate]

So what if you're a staff member. (oh, wow, you have red letters. You must be so cool in the REAL world) In any case, you're not a very good staff member. Maybe you're new to the whole thing, but that's besides the point. Just becuase you say it's in the wrong forum, doesn't mean it is. It just makes you a bitch for bashing something that wrote something from the heart. And the fact that you ARE a staff member makes you worse than everyone else. And No, you're right, I didn't know that that was Billie Joel's "Piano Man." Frankly, that's irrelevent as well. I don't listen to Billie Joel and you're entitled to your opinion about good taste in music, but bashing someone's poetry is wrong to begin with. And it's stupid to say that just because she isn't as well known as Robert Frost and Shel Silverstein means that she's no good. And I'm glad that you got your poetry published when you were 12 because you still act like you're 12. Once again: You need to get over yourself! I would write more but then this would become too redundant. I don't know why I bother: That one guy who said this site was lame was right. You guys don't even know what you're talking about.
It's in the wrong forum. Because I say it is - means it is. Period.

[LostSymphonies]

Probably true. I think after the plethora of "shit" that gets posted in these forums though -- some that read them more often than others (like the regular users, mods, etc.) they have lost any semblance of "tact." :shrug:

haha that is a good point

[*crying stars*]

Ah, Fall Out Boy boardies popping out of the woodwork!

Seriously, if you take what people say on the internet seriously, there is something potentially very wrong about you.

[a speedo model]

Lock this thread, please.

[thecurerocks182]

Not a fan of the poem, but now I know what to do in order to get people to read my poems:-) jk

[FieryWolf88]

This is the most retarded arguement that I have ever been a part of, even if I don't have to participate to make you seem stupid, so you call all go fall off a cliff. (Except for Stitches and forgotten_emo.)

[forgotten_emo]

This is the most retarded arguement that I have ever been a part of, even if I don't have to participate to make you seem stupid, so you call all go fall off a cliff. (Except for Stitches and forgotten_emo.)

lol dman well thxs for saying that i dont have to fall off a cliff

[RememberFminus2]

people are so mean. She's 16, she will realize what better writing is when she reads more books has more experiences. You guys dont have to make her feel like shit.

[FieryWolf88]

people are so mean. She's 16, she will realize what better writing is when she reads more books has more experiences. You guys dont have to make her feel like shit.

Well, I guess I'll take that as a compliment. I like my writing. I have grown and along with that my writing, so I'm assuming you're right. But I think it's good either way regardless of whether or not I become any better.

[forgotten_emo]

Well, I guess I'll take that as a compliment. I like my writing. I have grown and along with that my writing, so I'm assuming you're right. But I think it's good either way regardless of whether or not I become any better.

i like ur writing to its really good but ya dont worry about them ur writing is good u write really deep stuff only if these pricks could understand wut ur poems mean n y u write them

[wyverna]

i like ur writing to its really good but ya dont worry about them ur writing is good u write really deep stuff only if these pricks could understand wut ur poems mean n y u write them

ahah, dude, really. in a writing forum, you could at least attempt to write correctly. "wut" and "ur" are not actual words.

[forgotten_emo]

ahah, dude, really. in a writing forum, you could at least attempt to write correctly. "wut" and "ur" are not actual words.

ok im really lazy and i dont feel like writing everyword out correctly okay im just shortening it all up and besides you can still tell what im saying cant you

[IAmAmazing]

Well, I guess I'll take that as a compliment. I like my writing. I have grown and along with that my writing, so I'm assuming you're right. But I think it's good either way regardless of whether or not I become any better.
cut my wrists and black my eyes?

[Slaur]

We have this little forum called the "Poetry Forum" a few ways down from this one. No one really visits it, because most people don't care about girls like you who write shitty poetry, so either forum you use, no one cares.

-10 N00b points for getting the wrong forum.
-15 N00b points for thinking we'd care about your really awful poetry.


DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[thatwasamoment]

i like ur writing to its really good but ya dont worry about them ur writing is good u write really deep stuff only if these pricks could understand wut ur poems mean n y u write them
someone wants to get laid

[FieryWolf88]

i like ur writing to its really good but ya dont worry about them ur writing is good u write really deep stuff only if these pricks could understand wut ur poems mean n y u write them

Thanks! I wish more people would understand it, but half these people live sheltered lives and don't know that "loneliness" really is. They don't know what it feels like to be abandoned and have to live with that for the rest of their lives. Thankfully, you do.

And thatwasamoment, you need to back off. You don't know anything. Your just jealous....

[forgotten_emo]

Thanks! I wish more people would understand it, but half these people live sheltered lives and don't know that "loneliness" really is. They don't know what it feels like to be abandoned and have to live with that for the rest of their lives. Thankfully, you do.

And thatwasamoment, you need to back off. You don't know anything. Your just jealous....

ya only i they knew wut we have been thru then they would stop making fun of ur poems n actually understand y we feel hte way we do n y we write the stuff we do

[FieryWolf88]

ya only i they knew wut we have been thru then they would stop making fun of ur poems n actually understand y we feel hte way we do n y we write the stuff we do

Exactly...

[thatwasamoment]

ya only i they knew wut we have been thru then they would stop making fun of ur poems n actually understand y we feel hte way we do n y we write the stuff we do
are you fucking retarded?

[FieryWolf88]

are you fucking retarded?

No. He knows what I'm talking about in that poem and most of you don't even halfway understand it...

[Slaur]

I thought the poem was pretty good.At least I finished reading it.Leave it to AP to crush someone like this.

[thecurerocks182]

It is sad to see that a piece like this is getting such attention when there are writers in this forum that actually deserve it...lfdfforever. Those that claim that this poem is great and thoughtful, do yourself a favour and check out other pieces in this forum...perhaps you will learn something. Also, you will notice that just because one is a certain age, it doesn't mean the poem is any better, for age should never be considered in order to appreciate the art.

[IAmAmazing]

No. He knows what I'm talking about in that poem and most of you don't even halfway understand it...
:wallbash:

[SaoMattie]

Hahaha, that's the same place that published my sister's poetry --- and then tried to sell her a book of it later.

Scam.

ownageee

[Jason Tate]

i like ur writing to its really good but ya dont worry about them ur writing is good u write really deep stuff only if these pricks could understand wut ur poems mean n y u write them
:crackup:

[IAmAmazing]

Cut my wrists and black my eyes...So I can fall asleep tonight!!!!

[forgotten_emo]

are you fucking retarded?

no if u knew wut me and fierywolf were talking about then u would understand but u dont so ur the one thats fuking retarded

[FieryWolf88]

Cut my wrists and black my eyes...So I can fall asleep tonight!!!!


Why in the hell do you keep referencing Hawthorne Heights? Is the the only emo band that you know? Anyway, that song isn't even about suicide...

[lostfear]

wow...

[RomeoAGoGo]

It's interesting this was bumped considering that lately everyone seems to be complaining about the amount of new-found hostility on this forum. If you look at the first page of this, MJ rips apart the poster. And she's a mod.

[Stitches]

It's interesting this was bumped considering that lately everyone seems to be complaining about the amount of new-found hostility on this forum. If you look at the first page of this, MJ rips apart the poster. And she's a mod.

It's like I said way back when when I was still keeping watch on this thread: Some mods don't really deserve to be in the position they are. What's even more interesting is the sticky that Jason Tate posted: (I would quote it, but I wasn't sure how since it's locked)

"People are pricks in this forum, just know that regardless of how good your work is someone will be an asshole."

People's own personal opinions don't merit making others feel like shit; nothing does. The main problem I have with this site is that everyone thinks they're high and mighty, they bash noobs, (which BTW, everyone is a noob at some point or another) and they don't take things seriously whenever people are truly spilling their souls. Is that not what music is about? making beautiful works of art? And if you can respect someone just because they're famous and have several albums or books of poetry published, or they're working towards that goal, that should also mean you should be able to take the beginners seriously as well. (As MJ stated to me, if someone doesn't have several poetry books published like Robert Frost or Shel Silverstein, it's not good) After all, you never know who's going to prove you wrong and make you look like a dumbass.

Anyway, I understand that the personal life forum usually experiences major hostility (as stated by MJ herself) and that's probably why the poem recieved so much negative feedback once it was posted. And Then after it was moved to the "correct" forum, the others just followed the example that was set by the Mods. All I can say is: "Learn to think for yourselves."

Lastly, the fact that people are complaining of increasing hostility only proves that this site needs some MAJOR modifications. It's really a shame to see such a renowned site, dedicated to music, go to shit, but that's how life goes, isn't it?

To sum it all up, just refer back to Jason Tate's quote; it's the most accurate statement I've seen on this site the entire time I've been a member. It's not saying much, but still, maybe it will save unsuspecting noobs the humiliation of the constant negative criticism.