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mrfottlefocket
12/08/06, 09:34 AM
so this is something i wrote for an english class when i was a jr. in high school (i'm a freshman in college right now). keep in mind the assignment was to be as detailed as possible. it's the only thing i can remember off the top of my head.

Love is to open sky as loathing is to...

A cavernous hole in my belly
Where abcesses hiss and spit coagulated excrement.
You can't help but rip and tear the flesh
Creating new infection,
New damnation.
I need a seamstress not a surgeon

As i stare into that empty open sky
Flat on my back i sink to a new home.
Where the sky is prepetually pale
and red fires rage throughout a great dark skull.


hahaha, that last line is so cliche

a speedo model
12/11/06, 11:21 PM
Eh, it's not really bad just nothing new. It says nothing that hasn't already been said. But it's not bad. Keep writing I guess.

mrfottlefocket
12/12/06, 01:11 AM
keep in mind this was 2 years ago. my writing has progressed a lot since then

ChasityUndead
12/12/06, 08:16 AM
Eh, it's not really bad just nothing new. It says nothing that hasn't already been said. But it's not bad. Keep writing I guess.

Agreed,
But id have to say the whole thing is a cliche,
but I do like your use of extensive vocabulary.

OveriseFan
12/12/06, 08:13 PM
keep in mind this was 2 years ago. my writing has progressed a lot since then

...

.....

Well then why post this and not newer work?

Seriously, people, stand by your work. If you have the balls enough to post it, have the balls enough to accept that someone didn't enjoy it.

/Cynical.