"The Real King"

['hawk110G]

I wrote this while staring relentless at my digital clock...the words just kind of came to mind. Comments are always appreciated.

<3 Hayley

Tall contructions of flesh and inhibition
Running around in full blown competition
Stealing glances at my numbered face
The digits slipping through arms that embrace

Desiring my hands to forsake the journey told
Restricting my crusades to remain hidden in fold
Nevertheless, universal minds will heed my tongue
Bodies will turn, all in old and young <--don't like this line..help?

Not having eyes I have witnessed more reign
Than man would believe he ever could obtain
Not having ears, deep anthems I refined
Distinguishing fresh ideas from relentless minds

The thought I could stop, doesn't flash across the mind
A fearful adventure, even though I am of mankind
Without humanity as is, I wouldn't exist
A true tale of of terror, with a sudden twist

Mankind would become, one psychotic big mess
Without my order and ability to make stress
In the big picture, I am the Real King, you see
For I am a clock, as I will ever be.

[a speedo model]

This is much better, I admit I'm surprised. I like this. Nice recovery I must say.

['hawk110G]

Thanks...guess I'm not to great with the political stuff but better with stuff like this?

[black rose]

i was also very suprised by how much i liked this piece.
definitly good recovery.

but my advice would be this:
don't feel the need to rhyme every line.
i used to do that, but it's really uneccesary for most pieces.
good overall.

['hawk110G]

Kewl...thanks!