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View Full Version : new poem-ish piece.


black rose
12/12/06, 02:35 PM
it's basically supposed to metaphorically describe what happened when i was little to my dad and how i have to deal with the situation now and forever.

rip it apart.

Clocks

Clandestine travels and fleeting decisions take off between the woods. Don’t make a sound; take heed with your emotions that seem to always have something to say.

Quickly through the whipping trees, she slides between them all. She never seems to win, but never seems to lose. The storm is rising and she keeps forgetting why she’s out tonight.

Just keep running.
Just keep working.

Split ideas- set her off on the left. Still confused but she’s not going to stop to admit she’s wrong. It’s always been easier to go at something fast than to not go at it at all.

Trees keep whipping, and she keeps tripping over branches and rocks. Keep breathing, in and out. In and out. Don’t think, just do.

She’s to the edge of the forest with no where to go. Twirl around, looking for an exit, a way out – a dream. Nothing comes forth, so take a deep breath.

This is admittance.
This is home.

Ockniel
12/12/06, 03:18 PM
It seems to have a deeper meaning than i can decipher, maybe explain a little about it so that we can understand it a little better?

black rose
12/12/06, 04:00 PM
yea you're right, there's a deeper meaning.
and i don't want to sound rude at all, but it's very personal.
but did you like it?

ChasityUndead
12/12/06, 05:19 PM
Interesting, I like it.

'hawk110G
12/12/06, 05:27 PM
well written...I like the metaphorical approach. Kind of hard to figure out its meaning, but its good nonetheless

black rose
12/12/06, 05:39 PM
thank you very much.

'hawk110G
12/12/06, 05:45 PM
your welcome :-)

a speedo model
12/12/06, 06:11 PM
This was very good, I think this may be the best thing you've posted. Nice job.

black rose
12/12/06, 06:15 PM
This was very good, I think this may be the best thing you've posted. Nice job.wow speedo, thank you so much. that means a lot.

suddenxsilence
12/12/06, 06:30 PM
this is beautiful... i don't know if you think this is bad but when i read someones poems i try to take out what they mean but also tend to link it to something that i am thinking or feeling. you sound like a very wonderful in depth writer. you can tell there is a lot behind the words.

ArTkY_
12/12/06, 06:50 PM
This is honestly the best thing you've posted, good job. I'll work on the interpretation thing later.

black rose
12/12/06, 08:01 PM
wow thanks for all the compliments guys.
that means a lot, really.

black rose
12/13/06, 02:59 PM
yo guys bump!