Nightmare

[suddenxsilence]

Ok I'm gonna take another crack at this with a poem of mine that I like a lot better. What is it about... I'll let you see if you can figure it out(hint there is more meaning to it than the screaming obvious)


NIGHTMARE

Once upon a nightmare
I find myself in a frightening place
Where lovers turn to killers
They'll stab you in the heart
And lick up the blood just for a taste

***
I hate this terrible dream
Is it reoccuring?
I clench my eyes to hold them back
But through my eyelids the tears of no escape are leaking

***
Though my eyes are closed now
The flames still dance fefore them
I'm so afraid, I wish I could hide
But now, it is to my sleep that I am condemed

***
All the time, I stay in fear
Of the dreams that I know will haunt me
That subtle silence that I know so well
And through it, I feel horror seeping

***
And suddenly I open my eyes
Gasping for the breath I can finally reach
I wonder how long I have been asleep
Then I come to the terrible realization...
I wasn't dreaming

[de la sympathie]

No. Grow up before you try again.

[suddenxsilence]

wow coming from someone younger than me and most likely far less mature than myself what you have to say really means nothing to me when it comes to "growing up"

['hawk110G]

talk about depression. dam. i don't like the rhyme scheme, or the subject. not my taste at all

[suddenxsilence]

and besides what does growing up even have to do with this. I'm mean what you are saying is total shit because "growing up" has nothing to do with expressing yourself in the form of poetry.:nono:

['hawk110G]

and besides what does growing up even have to do with this. I'm mean what you are saying is total shit because "growing up" has nothing to do with expressing yourself in the form of poetry.:nono:

contrar, growing up does have to with expressing oneself in the form of poetry. if you are 15 you should write like a 15 year old, preferably better. not like a 12 year old. in that poem thats what you sound like, some depressed little 12 year old crying out, "Woe is me!" Thats just what it comes across as. write more maturely, with more descriptions...use metaphors, similies, personifications...people here like that.

[de la sympathie]

wow coming from someone younger than me and most likely far less mature than myself what you have to say really means nothing to me when it comes to "growing up"

I'm hardly a year younger than you, and obviously you're not very mature if you can write something as cliche-loaded and ridiculous as this. I didn't mean grow up as in "age", I mean mature in your writing before you post again. It's mind-numbingly loaded with stupid, dark imagery and a forced rhyme scheme. It's EXCEEDINGLY cliched (lines like "through my eyelids the tears of no escape are leaking") and immature.

[de la sympathie]

contrar, growing up does have to with expressing oneself in the form of poetry. if you are 15 you should write like a 15 year old, preferably better. not like a 12 year old. in that poem thats what you sound like, some depressed little 12 year old crying out, "Woe is me!" Thats just what it comes across as. write more maturely, with more descriptions...use metaphors, similies, personifications...people here like that.

Exactly my sentiments.

[IAmAmazing]

"Cut My Wrists And Black My Eyes!!! So I Can Fall Asleep TONiGHt!!!!!

['hawk110G]

I'm hardly a year younger than you, and obviously you're not very mature if you can write something as cliche-loaded and ridiculous as this. I didn't mean grow up as in "age", I mean mature in your writing before you post again. It's mind-numbingly loaded with stupid, dark imagery and a forced rhyme scheme. It's EXCEEDINGLY cliched (lines like "through my eyelids the tears of no escape are leaking") and immature.

I completly agree.