To Kill !

[xmy.only.exitx]

hey guys, it took a long time for me to do this..........and i'm not really sure if its turned out good or bad.........i need your opinions.

it takes much time to kill a tree
not a simple jab of the knife will do it
it has grown slowly consuming the earth
rising out of it, feeding upon its crust,
absorbing.
years of sunlight, air, water,
and out of its leperous hide,
sprouting leaves.

so hack and chop
but it wont do it
not so much pain will do it
the bleeding bark wil heal
and from close to the ground
will rise curled green twigs.

no.the root is to be pulled out
out of the anchoring earth
it is to be roped, tied,
and pulled out - snapped
or pulled out entirely,
out from its earth-cave,
and its strength exposed
the source, vulnerable and cold,
the most sensitive,
hidden for years inside the earth.
then the matter
of scorching and choking
in sun and air,
browning, hardening,
twisting, withering,
dying.

[tinerlikespie]

hm...interesting

[Kanashii]

I'm guessing that all the responses are vague around here?

lol.

I like the concept behind it, but eh.. it was poorly written.

"so hack and chop
but it wont do it
not so much pain will do it
the bleeding bark wil heal
and from close to the ground
will rise curled green twigs."

I like the descriptiveness, but what's the point? Why a tree? What does it symbolize?

Yeah..

[black rose]

I'm guessing that all the responses are vague around here?not always. if people have time they usually write out what they think but not always.

[wyverna]

I like the idea of this, but I think you could do so much more with it. You could try treating this as a draft, and working on it a lot more because I'm sure you could do a lot better.

[xmy.only.exitx]

thanks a lot for all the appreciation as well as the constructive criticism.

[a speedo model]

I like the idea of this, but I think you could do so much more with it. You could try treating this as a draft, and working on it a lot more because I'm sure you could do a lot better.
I agree. It's not a bad idea or concept it just feels like more could be done with it.

[IAmAmazing]

I was expecting...
Kill! Kill! Kill! Death! Death! Death!
Die! Die! Die! Slit! Slit! Slit!
...and thats what I got

[xmy.only.exitx]

I was expecting...
Kill! Kill! Kill! Death! Death! Death!
Die! Die! Die! Slit! Slit! Slit!
...and thats what I got

is that supposed to mean you got a good one or bad one?

[theMATEOlife]

is that supposed to mean you got a good one or bad one?

i believe he was indicating he didn't like it.