Colloquial Splendor

[Kanashii]

We set sail in a wooden casket
under a glass sky.
We're the lucky ones in a deck of cards.
It seemed perfect to die.
I watched hope dissolve in a moment of clarity.
As we threw rocks into the horizon,
mercy began to manifest sincerity.

I'm exhausted from unravelling schemes.
I sleep next to twisted vanity,
and kiss the Indiana sun with vanishing dreams.

I have a niche for perfection,
but I always fail.
I have the strength to stand up for myself,
but I always fall.

Memories taint the complexion
of serenity.
I fell into the crack of a smile,
and painted nostalgia with sunshine.

[tinerlikespie]

i liked it:wave:..it was like sad.happy.sad.happy.

[theMATEOlife]

not bad, some good images and ideas there, but some of the lines seemed to pointed yet without having much of a point.

i.e.:
"it seemed perfect to die."

not sure where it came from or what it means in context.

other than that good work and keep writing

[Kanashii]

Well, the "it seemed perfect to die" line refers to the opening line with the wooden casket.

At first, I didn't really like the line.. I kind of just threw it in there just for the hell of it, but then when I edited the poem itself, I realized that it actually fit. It makes sense if you look at it a little deeper I suppose.

Thanks for the response though. Anyone else?