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View Full Version : from the depths of my heart


xmy.only.exitx
12/13/06, 05:55 PM
as much as i try to forgive you
i dont think i ever can
you, enemies of humanity,
heartless, brutal rascals
you didn't think twice before raising your guns
and engraving those bullets in our hearts.
and flogging us till we bled
all over the pavement, all over the road.

you broke our heads and singed our flesh
cut our arms and legs, but you
could never break the spirit within us
its too strong, dont ever think you can kill that,
its too strong.

you locked us in the darkest dungeons
and thought you'd close our thoughts that way
you tortured us, tormented us,
but thats not enough to wipe out a people
who are determined just to survive,
survive, if only to show you all you've not succeeded.

millions you killed, cruel hogs,
and with every blood soaked piece of cloth i clutched
i promised every drop of the blood of my body
to set this right, to set this right.
annihilating us like stray dogs,
i saw their dead bodies at every frozen dawn
how could you kill so endlessy without remorse?
how can anyone?

even if i had a gun right now
and you were right before me
as much as i hate you, i'd never be able to take your life
i'm not a senseless beast, i'm still human and choose to remain.
and although i'm one against you all
you're just to big and i'm too small
but i'm ready to do whatever i can
with this small head, smaller hands, a large heart.

you can crush my hands, break open my head
and rip my heart apart, but as long as it still beats,
you wont be able to stop me,
or to extinguish this flame within me
that will burn just to burn away the cords that bind my people,
and to burn every evil hand that comes in the way.

but yet, if i fall fighting, i'll close my eyes and lie in peace,
the only regret i would have is
that i could not give them my body for a second more.

xmy.only.exitx
12/13/06, 08:13 PM
guys please comment on this one.......it really means a lot to me.

a speedo model
12/13/06, 08:17 PM
I don't like this, it just left me underwhelmed. But keep working on it.

xmy.only.exitx
12/13/06, 08:31 PM
actually this song is very real and the fighter in it too.....so ....everything just flowed out spontaneously. and i think i'll work on it some more.

fifpb99
12/13/06, 08:36 PM
I think that you have the raw idea but the structure and wording needs a little fleshing out. some of it just doesn't flow very well when i read it. but like i said, your raw idea is there, just go through some of the lines and improve upon their wording and structure and it should come out nicely.

xmy.only.exitx
12/13/06, 09:34 PM
thanks for that great suggestion.

theMATEOlife
12/13/06, 09:36 PM
you're overcomplicating your thoughts and it's cluttering the work. revise and repost when you're finished. this seems like a work not yet finished.

thatwasamoment
12/13/06, 09:37 PM
actually this song is very real and the fighter in it too.....so ....everything just flowed out spontaneously. and i think i'll work on it some more.
did you just review your own work?

theMATEOlife
12/13/06, 09:43 PM
did you just review your own work?


yes, she did.

"Vitals: Female (16)"

xmy.only.exitx
12/13/06, 10:45 PM
yes, she did.

"Vitals: Female (16)"

i wasnt reviewing my own work.....i just meant that i actually wrote this song about a real experience. and i had a real fighter in mind while writing it.