What Cup Do You Drink From?

[lfdfforever]

how sad is it now to watch the water pour out into nothing?
and just yesterday you were taking a drink
the envy of bliss is marked on your cup
these pills will only put you to sleep
they haven't developed the right amount of strength
to take your problems away
you need the problem we created to stay
it was a accdient at it's finest
and i hope you know
i've strayed back and fourth
just to find something you've all ready found
the peace of mind that keeps the loud circumstances quiet
i would kill for that part of life
you know it's the most honest truth you've ever heard
but you're not same person who listened before
you're not even the same face
i choose to send glaces to
who are you?
what have you become?
What will you drink to now?

i'm sorry i wrote these words
and i'm sorry a ment everything
i said and thought
forgive the damp mistakes i've rained on you

[theMATEOlife]

i like alot of what you're trying to say here. for some reason, i feel the line "what have you become" would better serve it's purpose as "what have we become?"

the last italicized words don't do justice to the thinking in the first bit of writing. i would flesh this out a bit more and make it flow a bit better.

good work, post if you do a revision.

[lfdfforever]

i like alot of what you're trying to say here. for some reason, i feel the line "what have you become" would better serve it's purpose as "what have we become?"

the last italicized words don't do justice to the thinking in the first bit of writing. i would flesh this out a bit more and make it flow a bit better.

good work, post if you do a revision. this is a rough draft for sure, so i'll probably revamp it later, thanks for enjoying

[a speedo model]

As always, man, I love this.

[lfdfforever]

As always, man, I love this. thanks for always reading and enjoying

[agloriousruin]

Nice work. I like the line "an accident at its finest"
Well done, sir!

[lfdfforever]

Nice work. I like the line "an accident at its finest"
Well done, sir! thank you sir

[suddenxsilence]

I really like this and it seems to hold a lot more personal meaning than I can see. By this I mean that not being the author I'm not sure exactly what the situation is. I'm not saying this is a bad thing at all. I think this makes it amazing.

[lfdfforever]

I really like this and it seems to hold a lot more personal meaning than I can see. By this I mean that not being the author I'm not sure exactly what the situation is. I'm not saying this is a bad thing at all. I think this makes it amazing. thanks friend