11/11/11

[iamreppard]

cave men scatter scared and screaming
eluding alien invasion all the while
televisions raining down
a new gods' going to show them how and why
no he wont lie
he says
"this is it...
this is what we are,
merely animals in heat
just inches from the fire
that burns our face
but warms our hearts
it lit the roads we couldn't see
and pulled us from the dark
in our darkest hour
we find we are never blind
to the evil
locked in our minds
cause this...is...our lives
so love...and live it."

[theMATEOlife]

this isn't terrible, but it wasn't quite for me. the concepts are a little weird and it doesn't flow as well as it should

[fifpb99]

I think it flowed pretty well, and liked some parts of it.

cave men scatter scared and screaming
eluding alien invasion all the while
televisions raining down
a new gods' going to show them how and why
no he wont lie


^Didn't like this part so much...


this is what we are,
merely animals in heat
just inches from the fire
that burns our face
but warms our hearts
it lit the roads we couldn't see
and pulled us from the dark
in our darkest hour
we find we are never blind
to the evil
locked in our minds
cause this...is...our lives
so love...and live it."

^Really liked this whole last paragraph, for the most part.

[iamreppard]

this isn't terrible, but it wasn't quite for me. the concepts are a little weird and it doesn't flow as well as it should

thanks for the words. the flow is alittle weird when typed but i wrote these words to a song so melody helps that out.

[iamreppard]

I think it flowed pretty well, and liked some parts of it.



^Didn't like this part so much...



^Really liked this whole last paragraph, for the most part.


again, thanks for the words. i'm still working on it and another verse will be done soon