Oh, the lies

[suddenxsilence]

Oh, the lies
Tricks of the light
Liars to the world... the clowns
Their eerily painted-on smiles
They never true emotion
QUICK! another layer
The faces so nice to gaze upon
Except for those of us who know the truth
What lies beneath is secret to all those except the owner of the face
But to see so little of ones own face... who really remembers what is there
NEWSFLASH!
The lines of moisture are cutting through
QUICK! another layer
So many people watching every move
Must not fall from this high place
Fear flashes behind eyes
On display for those who don't see
Wink at them all
Keep them happy at all costs
One unhappy look
One unkind word
A face shows real anger for the first time
QUICK! another layer
Yes another layer
Just one more now
But the makeup begins to run low
And there's no way to put on new layers
What was beneath begins to show through
And now they can finally see
Once gazes now are glares
The laughter slowly turning into screams
They couldn't keep the truth forever
No matter how blind the eyes watching
We few hold our knowing smiles
Because we predicted this long ago



So hopefully you all like this one better than my first two... but if you don't that's okay. Rip away.

[suddenxsilence]

so maybe the fact that no one is saying anything about this means it doesn't suck that badly....

[OveriseFan]

so maybe the fact that no one is saying anything about this means it doesn't suck that badly....

Or the opposite :shrug:

I don't know what to say about this, to be honest... It's way too straightforward, whether this is intended to be 'metaphorical' or not... (Are you possibly implying that people, mostly girls, hide behind make-up and stupidity for attention in our world today?)

I mean, I think I kind of get what you were going for, a kind of spastic conspiracy, but I just don't like it... and can't think of any way to help this.

[a speedo model]

This is better then your previous works, so keep it up. There are still cliches, the flow is a bit off but it's not terrible. It's actually pretty good. Keep it up.

[redxraine]

That was THE worst poem I have EVER read. EVER! Not even kidding. Go play in traffic. Or listen to Meatloaf or something.

[OveriseFan]

That was THE worst poem I have EVER read. EVER! Not even kidding. Go play in traffic. Or listen to Meatloaf or something.

I like Meatloaf... :shrug:

[a speedo model]

That was THE worst poem I have EVER read. EVER! Not even kidding. Go play in traffic. Or listen to Meatloaf or something.
I've read worse and great advice, you fucking asshole. If you have nothing productive to say shut the fuck up. This isn't THAT bad.

[black rose]

That was THE worst poem I have EVER read. EVER! Not even kidding. Go play in traffic. Or listen to Meatloaf or something.maybe you should just leave.
the point of these threads are to give advice and to help.
you're just being annoying and rude.

leave, now.

[lfdfforever]

That was THE worst poem I have EVER read. EVER! Not even kidding. Go play in traffic. Or listen to Meatloaf or something. dickhead!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehe

[redxraine]

That was THE worst poem I have EVER read. EVER! Not even kidding. Go play in traffic. Or listen to Meatloaf or something.

What you need to realize is that she is my best friend and the writer of my lyrics that I use for songs. Plus she was sitting right next to me when I wrote that. And the meatloaf thing was because I know she loves meatloaf.

[theoneforgotten]

I liked it. :thumbup:

[black rose]

What you need to realize is that she is my best friend and the writer of my lyrics that I use for songs. Plus she was sitting right next to me when I wrote that. And the meatloaf thing was because I know she loves meatloaf.well you could have said something.

a j/k or something stupid like that.