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lifelesslove
07/07/03, 05:20 PM
a piece i wrote at four am, in a caffeine buzz, check it out , give me the rundown, probably my favorite piece to write...

Sleeping stops blood flow

The resiliency of wings, how long do they last, before they shed, and do you know?
So, I’ll now test their durability, with this long line of questions ,and wait for twilight, your face to show…
The moon, and sunsets they part ways, and help us coat our lives with meaning, but the feathers fall to shame.

This was a world, before we grew, to face the grounds of martyrdom, and we shell ourselves up, the remains what is left. You’ve singed the retinas of the tired, and sugar coat our lives with dreams of flourishing . But a few seconds of life can change all our hopes…dashed out by hyphens, comatose by commas, as

YOU PILLAGE THE TOWNS FOR THE LOVE OF THE LIGHT, and the radiance of flames inflamed in your heart, in flames is my life. I cease to be, a living hope, and I’ll close these eyes, as we hope for dreams, and the cuts and gashes that seal my body, I shout out and let the wind take hold, sleeping should stop this blood flow.

Now, I open my eyes, awake from a pillow, of leaves and ground ,and look around. The streets now barren, I survived the horror, thirty six hours of intimate fires. They act like nothing change, still offer the same phrases, they wish that it could have been different, could have cracked their shells.

While you ripped this place apart, sacrilegious in intent, now you smile fake as always, and I remember last night’s dissent. A killing spree, that helped you grow, and this isn’t what I need, winter black, ash filled snow…vicarious, did you love each and every victim just as much as you loved me?

And the moon, now bears all consequence, of what happened so many times before, and every nights the same, with the power surge of fatal stroke, you took my life, and smile again, take my words, compile the text, then love the world, you sacrificed, (inflamed) in flames.

BuriedAlive
07/07/03, 09:04 PM
damn dude i really like that song! and has a great pattern. it does remind me of how geoff from thursday writes, he always seems to amaze me with his words, i really think you could be like him.. you really have a way with your words, you used the bigger words but yet even if you dont know what they mean you still understand and thats awesome, maybe i think to high of this song, or maybe im just the only one who realizes a true writer, you should definately keep it up

lifelesslove
07/08/03, 11:31 AM
thanks man, it's just a great piece, that i'm so interested with, and am probably gonna spread thinning out the way i want it to sound. It's going to be played out by the band i'm in right now, but thank you alot for the comments you made, i've been writing for awhile, and that's probably my best, took awhile, but whatever...i'll be posting more, keep helping me out, buried alive...check me out, sn...heroline182

decisionpending
07/08/03, 03:40 PM
(points to lifeless love) TALENT!!! WE HAVE TALENT HERE!!!!! and this sort of brilliance is hard to find in a forums filled stupid little 15 year old nerds who act tough because they can't in the real world... you truly do have a gift, exploit it and make as music out of it as you can, and put some songs on mp3.com so i can listen :)

Rufio217
07/08/03, 04:23 PM
Props dude....props to you, i try to write but see I am dumb, i will admit that adn can never use big words like 5 letters or more, so reading a piece like this is cool

lifelesslove
07/09/03, 08:06 AM
thanks guys, it means alot when you say that much good stuff about my writing...im me at heroline182 , i love wrting good stuff...and while your at it, my band should have stuff up on mp3.com in the next 3 months, under my new band, kinda like a mix of thursday and beloved called a letterhead dream..thanx, later

earlynovemberX
07/09/03, 05:24 PM
good song. to say the least. great song. keep it up.

ILLTRIP
07/11/03, 05:13 AM
brilliant. that is excellent. all your songs are amazing.

lifelesslove
07/11/03, 07:34 AM
hey thanks ill trip, it means alot when people like my stuff, i think my favorite is world in curtains, i started working on a new piece called when no one hears you submit...but it won't be done till maybe sunday, but hey, people respond to the chance of having a lyric writing contest, if you guys agree, i'll run it by the page, and maybe we could get a prize or something for the winner, i love competition...lol...l8r

earlynovemberX
07/11/03, 11:26 AM
Originally posted by lifelesslove
hey thanks ill trip, it means alot when people like my stuff, i think my favorite is world in curtains, i started working on a new piece called when no one hears you submit...but it won't be done till maybe sunday, but hey, people respond to the chance of having a lyric writing contest, if you guys agree, i'll run it by the page, and maybe we could get a prize or something for the winner, i love competition...lol...l8r

that would be tight...im down.

wewin
07/15/03, 08:14 AM
hey lifeless,

I like the part "comatose by commas" through "you pillage the towns for love of the light" and you write well, but i just can't get into this song. It's got a lot of traditional emo imagery, like wings and questions and victims and that line "did you love each and every victim just as much as you loved me" turns this otherwise interesting song into a "lost love type song".

who is the "you" that is being addressed in this song?

I dunno...I just wasn't grabbed. If you want something more specific tell me and I'll let you know.