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lifelesslove
07/08/03, 12:43 PM
check this out for fans of any of my deeper pieces..

World in Curtains (Blackouts in...Room 120B)


“Then the shades will drop to let you see the person that you can’t believe”…
(A mirror, a mirror)
“Then the bottles will turn without a sound, there’s no more pills to relieve” (hatred of yourself, hatred of yourself”)
“Then the colors will fade to reds, and you’ll
Luminescence arranged so brilliantly, as I stare up at these people,
With masks, and fake caring, for my life…for this complexion…
Blackouts in sequences, depressive sharp objectives, and I’m leaning on this flatline, hoping my angel hasn’t broke….

“And I’m not willing to let you go” I shake and convulse from phantom prognosis, and the warm grip of your shadowed hand, will crack just like the autumn’s days…and I’m taking you down with me, so the machines can taste our fading, and as they taste the fading, and as they taste the fading…A

With the taste of copper in my mouth, as I salivate from the remains of my life, I’m falling in and out, I love you, I love…the sulfur in my nose, from the burning of your experiments, building backdrops for your letdowns, now my vows are at their wits, and your hand is at the edge, and this bed carries it’s weight, and I carry my soul….in and out…I hate hating you….I hate…I hate…I really hate you.

They say they falter on their shoulders, and let you open up your mouth, and carry out expectations, but I didn’t say I wouldn’t miss you, I just didn’t say I cared. How my visitor list shortens, and you never showed again… and they left me on this machine, and let my heartbeat onto a normal level (only mechanical help can keep me happy).

Close my shades, and bring me flowers, the day translucent, and they last for years…Move my room down the hallway, now no one appears… This used to be about my enamoring for you, now it’s about survival. The one’s who appear the closest, shine their scalpels against your ribcage…the worst parts of you are the best reasons for your leavings.

“Now my shades drop, and in the machines, I reflect a person…I decay ( You forget me, I forget care)
Then the machines click off, without satisfaction, no more hope to conceive (my hopes fall)…you were always (never) there.

BuriedAlive
07/08/03, 02:07 PM
pretty good

decisionpending
07/08/03, 03:53 PM
you have written better (which serves to say that is just good... not amazingly good...!)

lifelesslove
07/09/03, 08:13 AM
hey, actually this is my favorite thing i've written, has a kind of coheed feel to it, the meaning is so much deeper than what you read...how someone has a loss of life, and the loss of love they thought they had all at the same time...it just kinda sux, but on a lighter note, whoever wrote some lyrics about a girl gets thirteen posts, and i get 5 on my best one, no offense to him, but it's just simple pop punk, no structure...thanks anyone who reads my stuff...

BuriedAlive
07/09/03, 10:11 AM
yo, i think you dont get many posts cuz people dont understand the meaning it doesnt just smack you in the face like the poppunk stuff about girls, that stuff has shallow meaning, but yours has alot and i think you should get more post. but people are too dumb to realize the meaning

decisionpending
07/09/03, 12:53 PM
yeah, i thought that this is good but on a personal level, i can't relate to it so i can't really grasp it as well as i would like to... if you can understand me (because i do speak in gibberish)

lifelesslove
07/09/03, 04:28 PM
yeah, great idea, everyone, we need to have a lyric contest, with a band meeting prize or something, like you win, you meet brandnew or something, this would keep the lyrics good, and people would post on our stuff. it would be like tree brackets, one poet against another, and whoever gets the better responses wins...and the last one left wins.