calligraphy

[Mando]

I'm thinking about walking to the beach.
To find something I really need.
I am going to cross the shore
because I don't think I ever liked you more.
It makes me feel kind of bad
While I find myself in the sand.
It's starting to get dark.
People leave to where they've parked.
Now I'm all alone
with the moon and the water.
Waves Crash
Watching the whales as
they sing their songs




little scratchy
can someone tell em what this is about?

[lostfear]

I kind of like it. but isn't there a better word than bad, especially if Rhyming isn't your biggest concern?

the concept is also a little generic and cheesy, but trust me I've seen worse. good start.

[fifpb99]

Seems way to straight forward, unless thats what you were going for. If not, then there are better ways of getting your point across.

"To find something I really need."

Ex. "In search of an unknown necessity."

Or something like that. You know what I mean, though? So, overall, it's pretty rough but nothing a few coats of polish can't fix.

[OveriseFan]

Sucks.

I refuse to help you, because you didn't accept help in the last thread.

[a speedo model]

This isn't good. It's something you'd read on a holiday card. But like James I refuse to give you any help since you know better.

[kissesneverdie]

I kind of like it. but isn't there a better word than bad, especially if Rhyming isn't your biggest concern?

the concept is also a little generic and cheesy, but trust me I've seen worse. good start.


I like it. It's a really good poem. It gets the message across. Poems do not have to rhyme. That's not the way poems work. Maybe more people should take a look at the first types of poetic examples before judging others.

[apoemtothedead]

I like your hair.

[OveriseFan]

I like it. It's a really good poem. It gets the message across. Poems do not have to rhyme. That's not the way poems work. Maybe more people should take a look at the first types of poetic examples before judging others.

Leave our forum.

Favorite Books
Alternative Press Magazine & Guitar World. (http://www.absolutepunk.net/memberlist.php?do=getall&field12=Alternative+Press+Magazine+ %26amp%3B+Guitar+World.),

Oh yes, you're very educated.

You also have a post about how rap music sucks, yet you claim to be a genius poet. You're an idiot.

[Mando]

Yes, It was kinda rough draft, but now I am tired with it.
I want to make something nice.
But I can never do it like I picture.