lost chances and no romances

[decisionpending]

alright i posted this really early when this just a little flegling board and i want most of the newer peoples to see and comment

lost chances and no romances

little white lies
to extend the conversation
telling our stories
with a little exaggeration
did you hear the one
about the boy who would never know
that his one true friend
is this mistreated girl?

adolescence
a time misspent
on stupid girls with pretty clothes in a league of their own
and now its time
to part our ways
and say goodbye

and never to see each other cry
and never feel a part of us die
and never to see feel a part of us cry
and never to see...

its the stupid things that i remember
like the time we had in last december
kicking back and chilling on the beach
this desolation seemed out of reach
the laughs we shared and all the fun
little did we know that laugh was our last one

adolescence
a time misspent
on stupid girls with pretty clothes in a league of their own
and now its time
to part our ways
and say goodbye

and never to see each other cry
and never feel a part of us die
and never to see feel a part of us cry
and never to see...

i never knew the bullshit that i put you through
would be like a bullet tearing through you
your everything has been torn apart
by this unmendable broken heart

and never to see feel a part of us cry
and never to see...

now i wonder why i wonder why
i put us through this stupid lie
our everything has been torn apart
by these unmendable broken hearts

youre waiting for me
youre waiting for me
youre waiting for something never to be
im waiting for you
im waiting for you
im waiting for something that could never come true
youre waiting youre waiting for me
im waiting im waiting for you
youre waiting for something never to be
im waiting for something that could never come true

[wadejunkie]

pet peeves:

rhyming words both ending in -ation. its cheap and easy and done too often

'the time we had in last december' was there really a time in december? or were you just trying to rhyme with 'remember'?

'kicking back and chilling' not very poetic




im sorry if i sound like a jerk all the time, im just trying to help out with lyrics

[decisionpending]

yeah, it is based in reality, there was a time in december and the -ation rhyming... well, i'm sorry about that one!

[StudentRick08]

i can relate to it. its pretty good. but work with the lengths of the lines. some are really long and some are really short. unless ure really good at making it come together in the end, i suggest u try to make them the same length.:)

[Rufio217]

Originally posted by wadejunkie
pet peeves:

rhyming words both ending in -ation. its cheap and easy and done too often

'the time we had in last december' was there really a time in december? or were you just trying to rhyme with 'remember'?

'kicking back and chilling' not very poetic




im sorry if i sound like a jerk all the time, im just trying to help out with lyrics



I feel the same way,

-ation -> overused...

kicking back and chillin? sounds to much like a good charolette lyrics

december is overused, but it's fine "IF" it actually happened in december

[dakknox]

i liked that song, it really reminded me of a time i had in which i was like that, i was too much of an idiot. some parts through off the vibe of the song like the kickin back n chillin' though that's what gets done, also the begining sounded like complete and senseless lies were being told, sounds critical, but i like the rest, later

[proeuthanasia]

Originally posted by wadejunkie
im sorry if i sound like a jerk all the time, im just trying to help out with lyrics


i like it. constructive criticism.

[BuriedAlive]

i liked the song, wadejunkie sounds like a jerk but he is normally right. and the song was good, it brought back good memories and bad. the song is good for looking back on stuff.

[ADecentDay]

Love the titled. And "adolescence
a time misspent ". That was very good.