all going home to noise

[wadejunkie]

im going down town
where the lights hit my face
because of tired of the trees
and how everythings green
im just needing noise and some wind so im leaving today
the buildings are tall
and the girls are amazing
the air is so cold
and the food is great tasting
all the colors are so bright at night i can see every shade

there are nations to visit
with all kinds of people
who all speak their country
ill always be able to
go where i want, theres no reason to not go
the roads are so busy
and mostly in yellow
like oceans on earth
they grow and they swallow
the land, inhabitants everywhere feeling alone

i dont know what you thought of me, but im gone.

i look up to heaven
but the sky isnt there
like all the blue and
all the clouds disappeared
except a big mass of fog that just hangs in the air and rests on top of the steel
the streets lack of money
the people lack health
they say youll always be sick
if you never have wealth
its a sick time we live in, a sick song we sing, and its always a sing touch we feel

when the sun goes down
all the players hustle out
they pound drums for money
entertain by mouth
they all set up stands ane with a wave of a hand theyll make a moment of you for a while
we're all going home
to our place in the sky
there are none on the floor
they all seem to be high
above streets made of charcoal, they put out the fire by the mile

i dont know what you thought of me, but im gone.

(incomplete)

[StudentRick08]

thats not that bad...but what kind of music is it for?

[wadejunkie]

hmm, acoustic guitar with a kind of folk/country beat?

[StudentRick08]

i guess it could work.

[Rufio217]

Originally posted by wadejunkie

and the girls are amazing
the air is so cold
and the food is great tasting


and mostly in yellow
like oceans on earth
they grow and they swallow


the people lack health
they say youll always be sick
if you never have wealth


to our place in the sky
there are none on the floor
they all seem to be high



YOU BITCH< AND BITCH< AND BITCH at peopl not to rhyme.........so why do you?

[wadejunkie]

ive never told any one not to rhyme. except words that end in "-ation." and other suffixes like that

[decisionpending]

i am not trying to bag you out or anything but, c'mon if you don't like -ation then sky/high is also quite terrible too, i use it if i rhyme but if don't like one then you gotta not like the other!

[wadejunkie]

no, because -ation is the exact same suffix. its like rhyming the same word.

[wadejunkie]

anyways, i made a rough recording of it

the rhymes you pointed out arent the prominent ones

http://www.dramafiend.org/landistic/recordings/allgoing.mp3

[ADecentDay]

Very simpled suject. Bits and pieces seem like you got disinterested with it. But thats just an impression. Otherwise its good.

[wadejunkie]

Originally posted by ADecentDay
Very simpled suject. Bits and pieces seem like you got disinterested with it.

ahh what do you mean

[ADecentDay]

There are certain parts that stand out with more emotion than the rest. Maybe that was your point. I dont know its just an imprseeion.

[BuriedAlive]

i do think the song needs work. and yes rhyming is quite childish dont you think? some bands can get away with it. i didnt really like it but im not here to post this and make you think im doing this to make you feel like shit or what not. but none of your songs really jump out and grab the person reading and maybe even listening to you sing it (if your the singer) i just dont see it as a great song. it could use alot of work

[wadejunkie]

what are you looking for. what grabs you.

[BuriedAlive]

well if it wasnt a short line the a long line. if it was closer to the same size. those lyrics would be hard to sing unless its gonna be slow then fast. and its hard to explain what grabs me. its if it flows and it just all goes together with alot of meaning

[wadejunkie]

did you listen to the mp3 i posted