Learn from the Pros

[devin]

So, there's been several threads on the boards about sex and chat discussions along the same lines. These generally appeal to the inexperienced, but now, you too can give head like Julie.

your mom sucks 2 (3:17:50 AM): they're all generally a fan of a few key things
your mom sucks 2 (3:18:31 AM): describing this is going to be cyberxcore
SilvaBullet 06 (3:18:52 AM): ok fine
your mom sucks 2 (3:19:20 AM): feel free to interject with suggestions/criticisms at any tie
your mom sucks 2 (3:19:21 AM): *time
your mom sucks 2 (3:19:28 AM): I'm always eager to learn mroe
SilvaBullet 06 (3:20:41 AM): ok
SilvaBullet 06 (3:20:42 AM): will do
your mom sucks 2 (3:21:44 AM): okay, well...
your mom sucks 2 (3:22:26 AM): so I've traversed the neck, chest, stomach, and I've come to the object of my affection
SilvaBullet 06 (3:22:43 AM): wow, this is romance novel material
SilvaBullet 06 (3:22:47 AM): but continue
your mom sucks 2 (3:23:14 AM): romance novel would be "his quivering phallus"
your mom sucks 2 (3:23:23 AM): or the like
your mom sucks 2 (3:23:32 AM): ah so
SilvaBullet 06 (3:23:38 AM): mmm
SilvaBullet 06 (3:23:43 AM): quivering phallus
SilvaBullet 06 (3:23:49 AM): what the?
SilvaBullet 06 (3:23:52 AM): i didn't say that!
SilvaBullet 06 (3:23:54 AM): never mind
your mom sucks 2 (3:23:55 AM): haha
your mom sucks 2 (3:24:08 AM): quit breaking my concentration
your mom sucks 2 (3:24:23 AM): it's hard to remember exactly what I do when I'm not actualling *doing* it
your mom sucks 2 (3:25:44 AM): ookay, so, while my mouth has been traveling down towards the quivering phallus, one hand has most likely undone the belt and began some gentle fondling
your mom sucks 2 (3:26:53 AM): when my mouth gets to the navel area, I'll usually pull the pants/boxers/whatever off
your mom sucks 2 (3:28:52 AM): then I continue down, lightly grasp at the base of the penis to hold it steady, and flicker my tongue on the underside of the head
your mom sucks 2 (3:29:38 AM): just for a second
your mom sucks 2 (3:30:07 AM): (by the way, this is generally what I do...it gets switched up a bit here and there)
SilvaBullet 06 (3:30:47 AM): keep going
your mom sucks 2 (3:31:38 AM): then I release my grib at the base and move my hand around (the back of my palm facing the guy, I guess), and I lick from the underside at the base of the shaft all the way up to the head
your mom sucks 2 (3:32:00 AM): then repeat on the sides
your mom sucks 2 (3:32:07 AM): to get some lubrication going
your mom sucks 2 (3:33:21 AM): then I bring my hand back down to the base and close my mouth over the entire head
your mom sucks 2 (3:33:58 AM): I slowly work my mouth down the shaft to meet the hand gripping the base
your mom sucks 2 (3:34:46 AM): then I bring my mouth back up with my hand pressed against my lips...kinda creating a tunnel with my hand and mouth.
your mom sucks 2 (3:35:31 AM): then back down again, slowly, then back up, gradually picking up speed
SilvaBullet 06 (3:35:57 AM): sounds good so far
your mom sucks 2 (3:36:18 AM): once I've got a rhythm going
your mom sucks 2 (3:37:01 AM): and have gotten used to the size and lenght, etc, I usually move my free hand to cup the balls
your mom sucks 2 (3:37:58 AM): and VERY lightly fondle them a bit (I'm always really hesitant about applying too much pressure because I'm not sure how sensitive guys *really* are)
your mom sucks 2 (3:39:08 AM): then
SilvaBullet 06 (3:40:30 AM): here it comes
your mom sucks 2 (3:40:43 AM): I start to switch it up a bit and see what the guy is into. I try different tongue flicks and speeds. I run the tip of my tongue all around the underside of the tip of the head
your mom sucks 2 (3:41:26 AM): and some more shaft to head tongue strokes which really utilize the tongue piercing
your mom sucks 2 (3:41:57 AM): ah, and I don't know what it's actually called, but the underside of the tip, where it indents upwards
your mom sucks 2 (3:42:36 AM): that's a really good spot to flick the tongue piercing
SilvaBullet 06 (3:42:36 AM): frenelum
your mom sucks 2 (3:43:09 AM): that sounds right
your mom sucks 2 (3:43:37 AM): so usually there's some handjob motion while I'm tonguing the head/tip
your mom sucks 2 (3:45:14 AM): then it's back to putting the entire penis (that sounds so scientific) in my mouth, starting off by focusing on the head and then working down.
your mom sucks 2 (3:45:34 AM): some deep throat action
your mom sucks 2 (3:46:04 AM): usually while cupping/fondling the balls
SilvaBullet 06 (3:46:17 AM): i've never really been deep-throated
SilvaBullet 06 (3:46:26 AM): i don't know if the girls just didn't do it generally
SilvaBullet 06 (3:46:32 AM): or were intimidated by me personally
your mom sucks 2 (3:46:43 AM): it's not hard...I think any girl can do it, unless the guy is REALLY large
SilvaBullet 06 (3:47:18 AM): i think they just didn't want to try to much
SilvaBullet 06 (3:47:24 AM): i mean, i've felt throat plenty of times
SilvaBullet 06 (3:47:34 AM): so they may have had the gag reflex kick in a bit
your mom sucks 2 (3:47:51 AM): ahh
your mom sucks 2 (3:48:04 AM): there's a certain trick to it
your mom sucks 2 (3:48:16 AM): to avoid gagging
your mom sucks 2 (3:48:38 AM): I can't explain it. It just comes naturally to me I guess
SilvaBullet 06 (3:48:42 AM): damn
your mom sucks 2 (3:48:56 AM): uh yeh so where was I
your mom sucks 2 (3:49:11 AM): oh
SilvaBullet 06 (3:49:12 AM): deep-throating
your mom sucks 2 (3:50:09 AM): okay, I've found that guys really go nuts when I come down all the way into a deep throat, but then come back up to the head of the shaft really slowly
your mom sucks 2 (3:50:46 AM): to where my lips are against the underside of the head
your mom sucks 2 (3:50:59 AM): I don't know what that area is called iether, but it's pretty sensitive I guess
your mom sucks 2 (3:51:25 AM): then back down to the base, then slowly back up
your mom sucks 2 (3:52:07 AM): then the hand comes back to grip against my mouth to form the tunnel again
your mom sucks 2 (3:53:18 AM): then it's pretty much a repeat of different combinations of the above, usually getting pretty fast towards the end
SilvaBullet 06 (3:53:47 AM): do you know how many kittens died so you could tell me that?
your mom sucks 2 (3:53:52 AM): and voila! splooge
your mom sucks 2 (3:53:52 AM): swallowed
your mom sucks 2 (3:53:58 AM): the end
your mom sucks 2 (3:54:14 AM): I have an idea :-\
your mom sucks 2 (3:54:22 AM): I told you it was gonna be cyberxcore
SilvaBullet 06 (3:54:26 AM): this is so getting threaded

[FishAlotNBePunk]

that made ME wet.

[papathomas]

Originally posted by devin
SilvaBullet 06 (3:53:47 AM): do you know how many kittens died so you could tell me that? lmao. that was great now i know how to give a killer blowjob:confused:

[DevilMayCare]

the problem with blow jobs is the gag reflex, if you cant control yours you usually have to do some, i cant think of a better word, drooling so that there is lubrication if you dont want to lick up and down the shaft. i think a guy who is good at oral sex should post his guide so that some of the oh so clueless guys out there have a few tips. i have one from a friend of mine, he said to just tongue the alphabet, so you find out which areas are most sensitive on the girl.

[RUFiOOOOOOO]

ummmm...wow. just wow!

[Tom Foolery]

Ahhh...I told you all that me drunk equals goodtimes. Unfortunately, most of you left early in the night.


And Greg...how's *that* for slutty?

[SonnyPunk]

Well for starters....Girls, you must shave your pubic hair or at least keep it short and trimmed. Noone likes getting hair in their mouth.

[papathomas]

Originally posted by I_speak_ghetto
Ahhh...I told you all that me drunk equals goodtimes. Unfortunately, most of you left early in the night.


And Greg...how's *that* for slutty? where the hell was i during this convo?

[DevilMayCare]

did you know that when a guy waxes his pubic hair, it makes his penis look 2 inches longer? im full of useless information.

[devin]

Originally posted by DevilMayCare
the problem with blow jobs is the gag reflex, if you cant control yours you usually have to do some, i cant think of a better word, drooling so that there is lubrication if you dont want to lick up and down the shaft. i think a guy who is good at oral sex should post his guide so that some of the oh so clueless guys out there have a few tips. i have one from a friend of mine, he said to just tongue the alphabet, so you find out which areas are most sensitive on the girl.

Ehh, I don't have the desire to go through my entire back of tricks, but there are some obvious ones. Most women won't get off on vaginal stimulation, so it's not about trying to thrust with your tongue that much. Sure, some girls may dig it, but it's a poor substitute for a penis. Work the labia and of course the clit. I think the most important thing in going down on a girl is getting into a rhythm according to the feedback she's giving you. I always prided myself on staying down for the length of an entire cd. If flashy tricks won't make them shiver, persistance will.

[papathomas]

Originally posted by DevilMayCare
did you know that when a guy waxes his pubic hair, it makes his penis look 2 inches longer? im full of useless information. im gonna do that! ouch...............

[DevilMayCare]

have any of you guys ever "encountered" a hood piercing? just wondering.

[devin]

Originally posted by DevilMayCare
did you know that when a guy waxes his pubic hair, it makes his penis look 2 inches longer? im full of useless information.

Well, I like my girls shaved. So, I feel it's only fair if I groom myself as well. And there's nothing wrong with trimming the bushes to make the tree look taller.

[DevilMayCare]

Originally posted by devin
And there's nothing wrong with trimming the bushes to make the tree look taller.
thats a good way to put it.

[Tom Foolery]

Originally posted by devin
Work the labia and of course the clit. I think the most important thing in going down on a girl is getting into a rhythm according to the feedback she's giving you. I always prided myself on staying down for the length of an entire cd. If flashy tricks won't make them shiver, persistance will.

Listen to the man. He knows his shit. Boys, it's all about the rhythm. Get into it and stick with it. Trust me, it might take a bit of time at first, but it will pay off.

[devin]

Julie and I have decided that we want to do a regular sex advice column on the boards. So, if you have any questions, feel free to pm us. We promise to keep your identity a secret. Unless you're an 18 year old catholic school girl living in NJ. In which case, I will bang your troubles away. But yeah, this could be fun.

[papathomas]

Originally posted by devin
Julie and I have decided that we want to do a regular sex advice column on the boards. So, if you have any questions, feel free to pm us. We promise to keep your identity a secret. Unless you're an 18 year old catholic school girl living in NJ. In which case, I will bang your troubles away. But yeah, this could be fun. thats awesome. ya'll should have your own tv show.

[Tom Foolery]

Originally posted by devin
Unless you're an 18 year old catholic school girl living in NJ. In which case, I will bang your troubles away.

In which case, I might join in. If you're cute.

But yeah, send us your questions! We're here to help, and I think we've proven that we're more than adequately experienced with these matters.

[Ronin]

Originally posted by I_speak_ghetto
In which case, I might join in. If you're cute.

But yeah, send us your questions! We're here to help, and I think we've proven that we're more than adequately experienced with these matters.

Giving sex advice in this forum is like giving a playstation to a quaker.

[hot damn!]

Originally posted by Ronin
Giving sex advice in this forum is like giving a playstation to a quaker. hahahaha, ahh its far too early to be laughin that hard.

[Greg]

Originally posted by I_speak_ghetto
Ahhh...I told you all that me drunk equals goodtimes. Unfortunately, most of you left early in the night.


And Greg...how's *that* for slutty?

i left cause i was depressed and flet like going to cry myself to sleep while hugging my pillow... actualyl i didnt cry. btu i hugged my pillow...:(

and :rolleyes: julie... i dont know....

[hot damn!]

dont act like u didnt enjoy reading it greg.

....nothing like reading good fellatio techniques to start off one's day

[Greg]

:eek:

[neverselected]

i got head once... it wasnt as good as reading that conversation

[Greg]

Originally posted by neverselected
i got head once... it wasnt as good as reading that conversation

ive never gotten any... so i dont have anything to compare....

[ms y o o n]

haha that was a good one to read!!

sex questions eh....
thats the thing..
maybe ill just make up new identies if i have to ask!

[Tom Foolery]

Originally posted by Ronin
Giving sex advice in this forum is like giving a playstation to a quaker.

HAHAHAHA. But I'm sure we could still help in some areas. Just take a look at the "MastErbation" thread and read how misinformed these kids are about vaginal elasticity. I weep for our future.

Still didn't get to 1000 posts, I see. You're such a wickchuck.



And I'd just like to add that I credit porn for all my knowledge. I sure as shit didn't learn that stuff in Sex Ed.

[Greg]

Originally posted by I_speak_ghetto


And I'd just like to add that I credit porn for all my knowledge. I sure as shit didn't learn that stuff in Sex Ed.

oh and experience has nothign to do with it?;)

[Tom Foolery]

Originally posted by Greg
oh and experience has nothign to do with it?;)

I'm sure experience helps most people to develop their technique, but it came pretty naturally to me. The above conversation pretty much describes the first blowjob I ever gave.

[AtTheDriveIn.]

this board has sadly turned into an excuse for guys to jerk off.

[Greg]

Originally posted by I_speak_ghetto
I'm sure experience helps most people to develop their technique, but it came pretty naturally to me. The above conversation pretty much describes the first blowjob I ever gave.

the first? wow.... that description sounds pretty impressive....

[Tom Foolery]

Originally posted by AtTheDriveIn.
this board has sadly turned into an excuse for guys to jerk off.

It wasn't my decision to post this thread.

[Tom Foolery]

Originally posted by Greg
the first? wow.... that description sounds pretty impressive....

He was a fan.

I'm out for the day/evening. Talk to you all later.

[devin]

Originally posted by AtTheDriveIn.
this board has sadly turned into an excuse for guys to jerk off.

You cannot deny the awesomeness of her technique.

And Julie and I agree that porn, sex advice columns, etc have provided us with most of our knowledge. Foolish is the one who rests his hopes upon sex ed or his friends.

Colin, since when are Quakers technophobes? I thought they were just pacifists who call each other friend. I think that joke should have been completed with "...a Mennonite."

[Ronin]

Originally posted by devin
Colin, since when are Quakers technophobes? I thought they were just pacifists who call each other friend. I think that joke should have been completed with "...a Mennonite."

Well nobody would have noticed my ignorance if you hadn't pointed it out shithead.

[Clarett'sGreyGoose]

Originally posted by Ronin
Well nobody would have noticed my ignorance if you hadn't pointed it out shithead.

Colin, that Quaker thing was easily one of the funniest things I ever read here. I laughed for like close to 10 minutes after I read it.

[SonnyPunk]

Sex ed was no help at all in my opinion. After having sex for a while you kinda develope your own technique. Also I used to listen to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew all the time which was really helpful in learning a bunch of things

[devin]

Originally posted by Ronin
Well nobody would have noticed my ignorance if you hadn't pointed it out shithead.


Sorry bro, I have to do my Einstein award proud. But it was still a hilarious analogy.

[Tom Foolery]

Originally posted by devin
You cannot deny the awesomeness of her technique.

And Julie and I agree that porn, sex advice columns, etc have provided us with most of our knowledge. Foolish is the one who rests his hopes upon sex ed or his friends.

Colin, since when are Quakers technophobes? I thought they were just pacifists who call each other friend. I think that joke should have been completed with "...a Mennonite."

I might have to sig that shit up. It means a lot, coming from the AP Gigolo himself.

Loveline is an excellent resource for tips/techniques, plus Adam Corolla is one funny muthafucka. Reading one issue of Cosmopolitan is also helpful (no need to read more since they just recycle the same tips every issue).

Even Mennonites are surfing the web these days. Is nothing sacred?

Go watch Pirates of the Caribbean. If nothing else, to see Johnny Depp's smudged eyeliner and ninjafied costume.

And no, that had nothing to do with this thread.