Song, "Fallen"

[TheFallenScene]

I have written a variety of songs, but I think this is one of my better ones. I'm not sure. But I'm looking for some possible improvements if you have any. Thank you, I hope you enjoy the song.

Fallen

I was caught in the darkness of it all
I was stuck in the plainness
It all made me blurry
My hands were shaking
I thought I saw you in the distance
But I never could find you

(Chorus)
This wasn’t our fault
While we search for the best and never find anything
Because I always felt like I was breaking

Everything feels so sharp
So why can’t I explain the misery?
My heart would throb
My throat would swell
As everything would collapse
I could feel the fallen
Feel the strain
Feel the desperation
I need to find a way out from the darkness, from the plainness

(Chorus) x2

The ending is near
As I notice the darkness clear
The lights flash
As the gates burst open
And I run from the past
I still feel the same
Nothing has changed

[BuriedAlive]

pretty good song but your chorus needs work.

[BuriedAlive]

crawling in the dark, and your chorus is like the shit i wrote when i was ten. its like hoobastank.

[TheFallenScene]

Shit, man I never thought of it like that..It is crawling through the darkness. I don't know what the hell I was think with the chrous either..fuck me lol. Hey thanks a lot though. Seriously.

[BuriedAlive]

i didnt mean to sound like a dick but thats what it sounded like. i mean im glad you didnt take it bad. im just trying to help you. i did like the song. but nothing stood out. and the chorus just sucked. im sorry but it did.