One Simple Dream

[TheFallenScene]

Ok, I'm giving this another shot. And please "Buried Alive" tell me what you think. You are honest and I want to know if my other songs reak of shit lol. But whatever...

One Simple Dream

I’ve been screaming for days
As I wait for my break
I need someone to listen
The energy is almost drained
Everyday I feel less alive
With my voice dry trying to carry on
With my soul escaping as I hold on
I know I could drag this out for one more day
But maybe it will just be memories of a few people
Instead of the millions hoped for

(Chorus)
Now I’m here
One simple dream, still forgotten
This will never die
If you could only help me find a way?

Until I find I will be ungrateful
I scramble with the words
Drawing all blanks
Trembling with fear
Just trying to piece together perfection
I can’t wait for that moment when I say goodbye to old times

(Chorus)

[BuriedAlive]

umm the chorus was ok but the first verse i wasnt into it could use work and the second verse was good i liked.
Just trying to piece together perfection

this is probably the best part of the song it was a really good line. i think that shows the most emotion maybe its just me. i think you should still work with it until you feel you have made the song as well written as you can. and just cuz i give you the bad part of the lyrics but i think you need to hear it. if you hate me cuz of it well sorry.