The Fake Love

[lifelesslove]

I lost the new piece of writing I was working on, that's on my laptop...so I decided to post a little bit of an older piece...here it is, the fake love...

The Fake Love

And these words would quiver off of his tongue,
As he scrawled this ending into her soul.
And she wouldn’t defend or contend with it.
She would just live off of this fortune,
A plebian lie.

How often would he wear, his heart on his sleeve?
Enough for her to find it, and defeat it (once again)
She would crawl through lungs, stockpiling air.
And work through love, their wasn’t any their.

*Chorus

And he’d lose his life that day, in a way.
As he bitterly drawls on, writing and writhing,
In her pawns and her fakes.
Would she care for him, as the others end?
His words meant more than she ever could.

As foggy as her eyes, were the thoughts.
She didn’t want to hurt him (she always said, and always said)
Never finding out that this one was worth more than the dozens.
Her lust beat eternal in small eyes.

Sunrises come, and sunsets go.
A fool’s theory that as worthless as the care that she showed.
She felt him to the ground, stitched what just remained.
Giving just enough, just enough to get by.

*chorus
And she’d end her life, someday, in a way.
As she consummately continues,
Lying and living,
In her pleasure, in her mistakes.
Would he care for her, as the others blurred out.
He meant more to her than she would ever know.

And restless now, they both sleep in beds (with names)
Deceit and quietness, lying so far apart.
Not willing to give in (to give up)
They would never find another tunnel,
And see the final light.

He’s giving in, she’s growing up.
This rain will only cover tears he could never show,
And smudge makeup he never could.
Hopefully, she’ll find his heart, his temperate time.
They couldn’t give her what he had, and what she needed.

[wewin]

First off, lifeless, what's your avatar?

Next, thoughts on your song.

I'm not a big fan of love songs, especially sad ones, because I think that it's far too easy to write a bad one and that the culture is saturated with bad ones. Love is probably the most common song topic ever. However, looking past that, here's what I thought.

You completely understand the idea of using neat verbs instead of a lotta nouns and adjectives. It's common in all your songs I've read. I don't like
"wearing hearts on sleeves". It's someone else's phrase, and stops you from writing a better synonymous phrase.

what does "their wasn't any their" mean? Did you mean "there wasn't any their"? second stanza.

The song is well-written, but I think the underlying idea behind the song is faulty and riddled with cliches. I like your other stuff better than this.