The Blue Scene

[TheFallenScene]

Ummm..This is mostly a rough draft I do notice where it could be worked on. Because I don't think it is a real strong song, but maybe I'm wrong. :confused: So I would love some commentary on this song. Thanks.

The Blue Scene

Such a struggle has made this a horrific tragedy
You gathered up the glory of my peace
You stuck your dagger into my swollen heart
I hated the way your wax lips never touched mine
Hated the way you would quiver around me
How you placed the effort into ending me
How come the green grass turned brown?
How can love be turned into such hatred?

(Chorus)
Strike me down
With my devotions inside of this box
As the blue sky turned black
Shatter another one of my days

Away from unfamiliar grounds of your affection
I stand pride taking and traps set
Stuck here while you laugh
Could you rip my heart out once more?
Once more with your hand of humiliation

(Chorus)

And all of this, was not my fault
You took it and tore it apart
Offer me something to bleed on
Offer me the life I led
I just couldn’t take it anymore

(Chorus) x2

Shatter another one of my days (x3)

[wadejunkie]

'blue scene' the title sounds like two TBS songs that had a baby

[TheFallenScene]

Re-names it "Shattered"

[waefpat]

shatterday? by vendetta red?

lol

[TheFallenScene]

Are "Shattered" and "Shatter Day" the same thing? And no I did not intend to name my song after that anyways. So stop being a smartass man.