The Structure of A Broken Wing

[TheFallenScene]

Yeah I don't know. Just some commentary on this song would be good. It's mostly a rough draft, meaning I'm planning on repairing parts of it anyway.

By the way if someone is going to point out the ending of the song is a little short. Well don't worry it's all works out with music added and so on.

The Structure of A Broken Wing

The structure of the wing
Completes the uncertainty of absolute fate
How can it prevail in the blood of the night
While ripped apart still in peace
Tram pulled still breathing
The night of a thousand raining stars
Take the fatality of the sinister day away
Despite the broken wing

Deplete the day of hope tomorrow
Desert the home of the exhausted one
Sacrifice the only soul you have
Crucify the relevance of someone else’s blessing
Saving only conveys the more harmful wounds
Take the medicine help the remedy of the World
Despite the broken wing

Scratch the scar of the broken wing
Cover up the beautiful mistake
Crush the indifference of the martyr

Despite the broken wing

[wadejunkie]

a lot of these lyrics i reply negatively to are just lyrics with a way different style than i try to write with. so im going to try start being better about that. i usually dont like dark lyrics unless theyre done a certain way but ill put that past me

i dont like "the beautiful mistake" because i dont like the band or the Ataris (i think its an Ataris song). its been used in a lot of other songs too

i like the repetition on "despite the broken wing" and i like the general idea behind the song. the raining stars part is good imagery, too

good job.

[TheFallenScene]

Hey thanks a lot for you comments man. And I wasn't even thinking about the "Beautiful Mistake" song when I was writing it, I was just writing what I was thinking. But thanks for the tip I'll probably change the lyric "Beautiful Mistake" because I didn't even realize how many songs use it.