But August Is So Far Away

[lostfear]

I can see our breath
as we get in the car
Lungs need oxygen
It just so happens
I need yours

I now just wish for time to pass,
But August is so far away
I’ll take a step back, make it last

Sharing is caring but you were never
Never very good at either
So don’t call, call me on the phone
Don’t remind me that I’m alone

I now just wish for time to pass,
But August is so far away
I’ll take a step back, make it last

Write the wrongs with love songs
No matter how loud you Whisper
This time I won’t come back, I won’t give in
I’m a vehicle for disaster, take me for a spin

I now just wish for time to pass,
But August is so far away
I’ll take a step back, make it last

So watch as I bleed honesty, unconscious
And cry because you need me, so cautious
You’re an asylum for those who want trouble
Reeling them in just to see them struggle



some new mixed with some old, comments, suggestions, marks insults, go for it.

[xwisebuddhax]

It's not that it wasn't good, it just lost my attention after the first 2 parts... kinda boring.

[a speedo model]

I like it, had some catchy lines and such. Very good. There were a few lines that felt cliche and forced. "and wait for my dreams to fly" feels like something better could be said. Felt like you used the line merely because it rhymed. But nice job.

[strobelife]

I really like that first stanza, man. For me the pass crass rhyme seemed really forced.

[lostfear]

Thanks guys. awesome comments. I like the criticism, I'll take it into consideration. so the chorus needs work...hmm I'm trying to think of something that will fit...

[lostfear]

I edited it.

new commenters?

some james? some Romeoagogo?

[a speedo model]

Much better. This is fantastic. Really. I'm getting a Brand New vibe to it at parts, is there an influence here or am I just reading into it?

[lostfear]

well, they are my favorite band. But I try not to let other bands influence me too much. but sure. I deffenitly like that your getting that vibe.

[espguitars723]

i like the words but the flow is off unless it goes perfectly with the instrumentals then id be wrong

[lostfear]

I usually make them fit the lyrics.

none of my pieces perfectly flow.

I guess thats bad? but it's never really been a problem.

[lostfear]

Bump please.

[as_we_learn]

def i agree i get a Brand New feel of it. Good Job:-)

[JimGray]

Much better. Much much better.

[xidreamofyou32x]

I like it, it's very deep :)

[lostfear]

hey thanks to all three of you :wave:

if you really like my lyrics check out my poorly recorded band Connery at www.purevolume.com/conneryme

[as_we_learn]

oh man im def gonna check this out

i heard the song "favorite shade of blue" i like it and downloaded. its pretty catchy

[FScott]

"You’re an asylum for those who want trouble
Reeling them in just to see them struggle"

love it

[lostfear]

Hey thanks fpr all the kind words. make sure to check out "Closure" and "Felicity" too, Closure is poppy, but it's one of my favorites. and Felicity is with a full band, it's a little rough in areas, but I like it as well.