Untitled

[isleepwitharmor]

And we slowly grow apart,
from each other
and the things that used to define us.

A walk to the past,
Oh, the calm and sweet.
Or some small talk over a couple of drinks.
You see my glass as empty as day.
What was there is gone,
Gone down the drain.
Yet you yearn to spill it anyway.

The promise. The fact.
The lie, intact.
Don't do again,
what you said you'd quit.
I don't want to go through this again.
You make up stories,
like the lands we used to play in.
You used to be whole.



Thanks for reading.

[apoemtothedead]

A little unknown fact in the music world, the idea of calling your songs "Untitled" is fucking retarded. You thought up of 18 lines here. At least think up of 1 word for a fucking title.

[RomeoAGoGo]

A little unknown fact in the music world, the idea of calling your songs "Untitled" is fucking retarded. You thought up of 18 lines here. At least think up of 1 word for a fucking title.

So I guess...


Angel Hair
Brand New
Rx Bandits
Glass and Ashes
Emery
Finch
Hell is for Heroes
The New Amsterdams
Pelican
Pretty Girls Make Graves

(just to name a few)


...are all retarded as well?

[apoemtothedead]

So I guess...


Angel Hair
Brand New
Rx Bandits
Glass and Ashes
Emery
Finch
Hell is for Heroes
The New Amsterdams
Pelican
Pretty Girls Make Graves

(just to name a few)


...are all retarded as well?
Yes.

[xwisebuddhax]

Yes.

Shut Up

[OveriseFan]

So I guess...


Angel Hair
Brand New
Rx Bandits
Glass and Ashes
Emery
Finch
Hell is for Heroes
The New Amsterdams
Pelican
Pretty Girls Make Graves

(just to name a few)


...are all retarded as well?

The "Untitled" songs are usually weaker...

[apoemtothedead]

Shut Up
No.

[love_american_style]

not bad...but yeah "untitled" sucks big, floppy donkey dick

[a speedo model]

Ripping into someone for naming it "Untitled" is stupid.

[xwisebuddhax]

Ripping into someone for naming it "Untitled" is stupid.

Agreed.

[a speedo model]

Regarding the piece: It's not bad. I like the idea you're going with here, definitely relate to it. I just feel you never follow through with the your good lines/thoughts. They turn into something that feels very unoriginal or that just doesn't hit me as a reader. But I can see this really going somewhere, keep working on it.

[OveriseFan]

Ripping into someone for naming it "Untitled" is stupid.

I wasn't ripping on them.

I'm just saying songs named "Untitled" are typically weaker songs on good albums.

[OveriseFan]

Regarding the piece: It's not bad. I like the idea you're going with here, definitely relate to it. I just feel you never follow through with the your good lines/thoughts. They turn into something that feels very unoriginal or that just doesn't hit me as a reader. But I can see this really going somewhere, keep working on it.

That's basically what I think.

You need to follow through on the good ideas you have (That whole glass thing works, I think.) and you need to connect your ideas a little more.

This could end up being really good, with some work.

[decrescendo27]

rx bandits have a song called untitled?

what are you talking about?

[a speedo model]

I wasn't ripping on them.

I'm just saying songs named "Untitled" are typically weaker songs on good albums.
I know, I was just saying in general.

[RomeoAGoGo]

Ripping into someone for naming it "Untitled" is stupid.


Seriously.

He hasn't thought of a title to his song/poem yet. Give it a rest.

[isleepwitharmor]

Yeah, I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to be like some of the other bands out there naming their titles the same, I just didnt have a title for it.

Anyway, thanks for the advice.

[love_american_style]

call it barking at a Concrete moon

[xwisebuddhax]

I wasn't ripping on them.

I'm just saying songs named "Untitled" are typically weaker songs on good albums.

I think he was referring to apoemtothedead, at least I was, you actually gave advice, he's just a jack-ass.

[OveriseFan]

I think he was referring to apoemtothedead, at least I was, you actually gave advice, he's just a jack-ass.

Don't bitch about Mark.

Please, you don't even know what all the complaining is doing to this place.

I want to see a revision of this: So post it if you do revise it. I'm looking forward to new work, just implement the advice you received.

[OveriseFan]

I know, I was just saying in general.

I luh you.