Fallen Leaves

[Leon]

The Leaves are falling, my memories fade. My heart breaks over the plans we made.
When the day is cold I can see my breath, I wish It would stop, so I can take a rest.
As they fall, my world turns to black, yet through the darkness, there’s a glimpse of the past.
My life is falling apart, as time runs out, the cold has frozen my heart.

(Chorus)
The Leaves are falling and your not there.
I’m losing myself in dark despair.
Can’t you see, its killing me, I’m dying inside.
Because the leaves have fallen and your no ware in sight.


My sadness is deeper than ever before, as the leaves fall faster the pain I can’t hide,
not hearing your voice is killing me inside. I’m losing myself every day I try,
to erase you is hard I would rather just die.To bring back memories of you is harder than I thought
now it seems the leaves are all that I’ve got.

(Chorus)
The Leaves are falling and your not there.
I’m losing myself in dark despair.
Can’t you see, its killing me, I’m dying inside.
Because the leaves have fallen and your no ware in sight

Though I know. The leaves are fallen so.
If I may. I want to die under your tree and go to sleep
Without you, it's the same anyway.

The Leaves are falling and your not there.
I’m losing myself in dark despair.
Can’t you see, its killing me, I’m dying inside.
Because the leaves have fallen and your no ware in sight.

[lostfear]

again, you need to stop using the same vocabulary every band you've ever listened to use.

Dark Despair (overused, cliche)

I'm dying inside (overused, cliche)


there are other ways to express agony and anger than the above ways.


please try to use them.

oh and spell check your work.

[HeyCoffeeEyes]

Sweet Jesus, that sucked.

[Joe DeAndrea]

Fallen Leaves is a Billy Talent song.

[Twenty5]

"No ware"?

Try not to use the all-too-easy "Try - die - inside - hide" rhymes unless the pretext to them makes it original. And don't force yourself into rhyming (eg: "I'm losing myself every day I try, to erase you is hard i would rather just die.") It's amateur advice, but this is really an amateur piece.

But don't give up, cuz it's too easy to give up.

[JimGray]

Yeah, they covered just about everything I would've said.

[strobelife]

what they all said. And just for fun try writing something in free verse. Beause when I try to write in rhymes I found that the words I can use are limited and you might have to word something differently than you normally would have, changing the whole tone and feel of the song/poem. Just a suggestion.