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View Full Version : Storybook - my latest song


MaybeOneDay
07/19/03, 04:30 AM
This song's about having the girl you love at the perfect place. I don't mean by place, a certain spot in your relationship, but instead being at an actual spot of paradise for you and with the girl you love so it feel's like it all fit's and it's...well...perfect.

This song goes along the lines of Dashboard Confessional, slower verses, slower bridge, powerful as hell chorus. The song starts out with the chorus, but its only a slow soft chorus at the beginning, then after that its powerful. It's an accoustic song (the only one i have). So take a moment, if you will, to read it:



"Storybook"

Chorus
My knee's are weak
My lips are dry
My face is red
Like a grey sky
My hands are cold
Your by my side
These past few days
Were the best the time

Verse 1
I don't want to
Have to go home
Sat up late
And took the long road
Why must we go
Back to that place
When it is here
That means the most
I don't want to
Leave my home here
12 months will pass
Until next year
I would like to
Scream in sorrow
And not wake up
Dread tommorrow

Chorus
Oh, my knee's are weak
My lips are dry
My face is red
Like a grey sky
My hands are cold
And your by my side
These past few days
Were the best the time

Verse 2
Who knows how long
Will we wait for
Another chance
To sing this song
You reeled me in
A way's from land
In my new home
You dealt my hand
Cry if you must
I won't let go
We feel the same
Why must I know
This song will tell
The perfect life
That one could have
Will come in time

Chorus
Oh, my knee's are weak
My lips are dry
My face is red
Like a grey sky
My hands are cold
And your by my side
These past few days
Were the best the time

Bridge
We sat outside
You got on base
But my blue eyes
Were on your face
We went real fast
You fell to me
But my last wish
Was to be free
You heard my song
And read with me
The words that I
Wished you and me
Her eyes are gold
Fit for a king
I wrote this song
She has my ring
The air is cool
The grass is green
You have no clue
What this place mean's
What this place mean's
What this pleace mean's (hold)

Chorus
Oh, my knee's are weak
My lips are dry
My face is red
Like a grey sky
My hands are cold
And your by my side
These past few days
Were the best the time

Verse 3
We sat up late
We talked for hour's
We played the songs
And took cold shower's
This place is great
It is my life
Without you here
I couldn't survive
For hours on end
I've waited for years
Until that day
Inside shed tears
Why must we leave
This is my home
Sometimes I think
I'm on my own
I'm on my own (hold)
I'm on my own (hold)
I'm on my own (hold and lead up)

Chorus
Oh, my knee's are weak
My lips are dry
My face is red
Like a grey sky
My hands are cold
And your by my side
These past few days
Were the best the time

wadejunkie
07/19/03, 05:15 AM
these songs youre submitting, they arent offering anything that a thousand other pop punk songs arent.

i mean, you usually have a few good words but for the most part, theyre really short sentences. and when lines are short and they rhyme, it doesnt sound good. it might sound good in the actual song, though, but i havent heard it so i dont know

xAlexisonfirex
07/19/03, 06:04 AM
i concur.

MaybeOneDay
07/19/03, 07:26 AM
bump

MaybeOneDay
07/20/03, 07:52 AM
bump

MaybeOneDay
07/25/03, 05:45 PM
the title of this was changed to early morning