"hopeless"

[Clarett'sGreyGoose]

I wrote this last night from about 3-4 am, and revised it tonight....

Story behind it: Last night, I went to the local racetrack with my uncle from Florida, since he wanted to go while he was up here. When I went to the concession stand to get a drink, the girl who got my drink ended up being my ex-g/f from around this time last year. I ended up talking/flirting and such with her for about 2 hours, and I fell for her. Hard. But didn't really think about it until I got home. So last night, before I could sleep, I had to right this.

Any criticism will be appreciated.

“Hopeless”
-written by Jerry Meigs

Verse 1:
Talked to you for the first time tonight
Since around this time last year.
Right about then us two were dating,
To look back is frustrating..
It’s one of my biggest mistakes.
Don’t know why I ever left you,
Said I didn’t have the time to spend,
Now my broken past is on the mend...

Pre-Chorus:
Last night I felt something inside of me,
Something I haven’t felt in months,
Two hours of conversation,
Gave me some motivation,
To write this song for you...

Chorus:
You were my girl once,
It should have lasted months but...
I was so stupid then,
I should have kept you by my side but...
I let you go your way,
and now I want you back
And all I can say is:
Please take me back, sweetie.

Verse 2:
‘Cause.... the things you stirred up inside me
It reminds me of back last year,
And..I need you here with me.
But the simple thing I’ve realized is
You’ve probably moved onto other guys,
So I’m hopeless with this crush,
Thoughts of you make my heartbeat rush.
Hadn’t seen you in so long,
Now I wrote you a stupid song,
Look what my curiosity has caused,
A problem that I can’t solve.


Bridge:
Oh, I need you back
Like a infant needs its bottle..
Oh, I want you back
But the odds must be against me
‘Cause - if I get you back
My life would be much better baby,
And I’d try to make yours better too.

(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)

Verse 3:
Now back home, I reminisce,
Don’t know if I can handle this.
We only talked for a little while,
I remembered how to make you smile
Think about the times we shared, good and bad,
Think about what we should have had.
I never should have let you go,
Why I did, I’ll never know.
Its 3:30 in the morning now,
I write this down and wonder how..
I can make you mine again,
So tired I’m about to drop my pen.
Think I’ll come back next week
And tell you face to face what I think about you,
And hope you feel the same way too.

[MaybeOneDay]

i already told you, but ill say it again (because it made me blow my load......twice)...i think its awesome.

[theused_FSF]

awesome song jerry, keep it up

[kevin]

It's good, but try not to rhyme two consecutive lines. I think it just sounds bad.

[FishAlotNBePunk]

its really good dude.

[Clarett'sGreyGoose]

Originally posted by kevin
It's good, but try not to rhyme two consecutive lines. I think it just sounds bad.

i usually try not to, and then for some reason i end up going back to it.

[Rufio217]

I....I really like it mainly b/c it reminded me of a siuation i was in last month, talking to a girl who i hadn't seen in forever and everythign cam erushing back.............the one thign i diddn't like was the rhymign scheme, i wouldj;'t have mind if you rhymed ABABAB but some of it went ABCDABCABCCAB, ya know it was amess, but with the right melody you could change that and it would sounds great so i give it props it hit home and i loved it....seems straight from the heart...

[Clarett'sGreyGoose]

Originally posted by Rufio217
I....I really like it mainly b/c it reminded me of a siuation i was in last month, talking to a girl who i hadn't seen in forever and everythign cam erushing back.............the one thign i diddn't like was the rhymign scheme, i wouldj;'t have mind if you rhymed ABABAB but some of it went ABCDABCABCCAB, ya know it was amess, but with the right melody you could change that and it would sounds great so i give it props it hit home and i loved it....seems straight from the heart...


I was going for a messed up rhyming scheme, i don't know why, but i didn't want to make it a poem, you know?

[charly horse]

aww jerry!!!! awesome song so very cute....and it would be really cool if u sang it to her!!!! that would make her fall . . .HARD!