Life After Nursery Rhymes

[speakhandsforme]

i was fooling around with this
and i had some fun with it

let me know how you take it


I walk outside and head for the lake
The sun on my back, there’s a lovely tune to my step
A bluebird departs from his tree and takes a place on my shoulder’s blade
He leans in and whispers, “You know, this is hell.”

“Oh, I know,” I respond with subtle delight
“Would you like to join me on my trip to the bay?”
Mr. Bluebird ignores my invitation and disappears from sight
I say to myself, “what a perfectly wonderful day”

I arrive at the lake, the sun still in my wake
I glance over the countless pebbles lining the shore
I repeat to myself, “what a perfectly wonderful day”
I soak in the sun, look up towards the sky, and say it once more

I reach down and pick up a pebble, rub it against my face
I put the rock in my coat pocket, along with many more
I fill all my pockets, and jump in the lake, taking my place
Along the bottom of the dark, cold lake floor

[CellarGhosts]

Nice. I liked it. For some reason the line "the sun on my back, there's a lovely tune to my step" really stood out. it just sort of has a nice ring to it. maybe its just me.

[strobelife]

That was cool. It was like a suprise ending for me. At some points the flow of the rhyming stuttered a little bit. Otherwise, I dig it.