Let me know what you think...tear me apart...Fairytale

[ADecentDay]

Fairytale

Slip through the crevice with silence no sound-
Enter this darkness dense and profound-

Treading on daisies that awaken a beast-
Terror and fear consumes you least-

Your princess awaits you beyond black walls-
Battles of light and darkenss falls-

Light is the victor, its splendor surrounds-
Its banner rejoices,dances and bounds-

The princess in slumber a peacefull sleep-
A portait in your mind, you will always keep-

Akawening an angel, assumed a sin-
That definitive line is only so thin-

The darkness disturbs, the angel awakes-
A sparkling, glorious smile she makes-

Your heart is rekindled and the piece it fits-
On her glorious throne she sits-

Again the princess is in your embrace-
She is a gift, a present, a grace-

She is yours, princess of day and night-
She is a perfection of both black and white-

She is a fairytale.


I know there are spelling msitakes but I wrote it in notepad so yeah. Please review me on my content and not my grammar.

[dakknox]

i think it sounds pretty good, i don't know how it is intended to be sung, but i think it would sound way rad if it was yelled/screamed at parts, to me it sounds like you would split each line into 2 parts and that's how it would be sung, i think that could sound good, but i don't know how it is intended, later

ex. Slip through the crevice / with silence no sound-
Enter this darkness / dense and profound-

Treading on daisies / that awaken a beast-
Terror and fear / consumes you least-

[Rufio217]

yeah dude, 1/2 split lines with screams,...definitely cool then