my first

[brandnewfan9]

ok this is the first song i ever wrote, its not in order or anything, i need some criticism(sp?)
and i know it needs some fine tuning. i also took a quote of of the boards and put it in the song.

"as i write with this ink
it starts to smear
from theses things rolling down my cheeks
i believe they are called tears

i found out about you
and your little toys
i cant believe what you do to theses poor inocent boys

you tease them and lead them on
when you did that to me i felt my sadness gone
but i fell for your lies, in shock that i did
im staring in the crosshairs of my gun
and i feel like shit

friends stab eachother in the chest not the back
the rusty blade you stabbed thru my heart has left a widening gap
the gap is opening to my brain
i cant take this pain
i've cried myself to sleep thinking of your name

you lied to me saying you werent ready
but you are fooling around with other guys already
you'll never know how much you meant to me
maybe you and me was just one of my crazy dreams

id go thru hell for you
or jump off any building
you didnt only hurt thrm but you killed my feelings

now i realize the pain you put me thru
you tried me on and threw me out
just like an old shoe

you said youd never drop me like a brick
and i believed the look in your eyes
but now i can add that statement
to you list of horrible lies"