What will they say about us?

[xsxarexsoxscene]

I'm pretty sure this is going to get massacred, but I figured it was worth a shot. It's one of my first attempts at writing using rhyme. Constructive criticism is preferred.

Butterflies are eating my insides;
Truth is contorted and molded into lies.
We're reverted and backwards in attempts for Survival.
The more I deny, the more I find:
Honesty is drained from everyone's eyes.
Handshakes don't make friends, but dirty glances make rivals.

No one could have guessed what this entailed;
By putting walls to block you only create a jail.
I wanted to tell you my secrets, but you became one instead.
The more I strive, the more I fail
And my best intentions are starting to derail;
I'm only a compulsive admittence who's easily led.

I'll put my whole heart into something until it's fixed to break,
But by searching for happiness I've only found an ache;
I turned to you for a cure but you just became a heart disease.
The more I act genuine, the more I seem fake,
But the act I put on for you was my biggest mistake.
The friends who keep the keys to your success are the worst enemies.

[as_we_learn]

I liked this poem. though the rhyming felt kinda forced, but i read this is your first using rhyme.
"I wanted to tell you my secrets, but you became one instead." i heard that before. this is still good(better vocab than anything i've written).

[xsxarexsoxscene]

I liked this poem. though the rhyming felt kinda forced, but i read this is your first using rhyme.
"I wanted to tell you my secrets, but you became one instead." i heard that before. this is still good(better vocab than anything i've written).
thank you. and yes haha i suck at rhyming and I'm completely open to admitting that. I actually haven't heard that line before but I can see how it could be an easily thought-of idea. Oh well.

[as_we_learn]

thank you. and yes haha i suck at rhyming and I'm completely open to admitting that. I actually haven't heard that line before but I can see how it could be an easily thought-of idea. Oh well.

:-)

[lew_1987]

i think the second verse is the only problems as far as forced rhyming goes. apart from that i think its pretty good, i like some of the ideas

[xsxarexsoxscene]

i think the second verse is the only problems as far as forced rhyming goes. apart from that i think its pretty good, i like some of the ideas
Do you have any possible suggestions for improving it?

thank you very much :)