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BuriedAlive
07/26/03, 11:09 AM
well i just started writing it and now im brain dead so i decided to post what i have done so far.

as the rose drifts on the lonely sea
we gaze as the red becomes unclear in the distance
will it make it to find another?
as it slowly shift from daylight to night
we realize what we have missed for far too long
all we need is ourselves
never give up, you can pull threw
hang in there, they said you would make it
2 a.m.
phone rings
hes past away
how could this happen?
now that your gone, are you still watching me?
are you up there looking down on me?
making sure i make all the right decisions
man i miss you, you meant so much to me
now i have no one to help me out
to help me get through the day
with every rose, my eyes filled with tears
i cant understand why they took you so soon
your life was great, you never complained
as i gazed at the shooting star going by i knew it was you
your telling me to hang in there
i wont let you down
**michelleV**
07/26/03, 11:33 AM
correction on line 4- ..as slowly shifts.
i think. Good song i like it!
BuriedAlive
07/26/03, 11:37 AM
ya alright thanks i have reread it yet. but i will make some changes.
**michelleV**
07/26/03, 11:39 AM
your spelling skills need some work i'd help you out but i'm no better myself.
BuriedAlive
07/26/03, 11:41 AM
i was typing on the computer i was sorta rushing threw the song before i forgot what i was writing. but i do have a few other songs on this forum.
**michelleV**
07/26/03, 11:48 AM
Originally posted by BuriedAlive
i was typing on the computer i was sorta rushing threw the song before i forgot what i was writing. but i do have a few other songs on this forum. alrigth i'll go check them out and point out your spelling errors.
BuriedAlive
07/26/03, 11:49 AM
alright.
TheFallenScene
07/26/03, 03:34 PM
I like the part about the rose and how it is drifting out to sea and so forth. I think the song overall is a thumbs up. Except this part ...

"all we need is ourselves
never give up, you can pull threw
hang in there, they said you would make it "

I just doesn't connect. Maybe you could re-word it or whatever you feel would make it better.
BuriedAlive
07/26/03, 03:40 PM
ya i know i realized that when i went back and reread it
BuriedAlive
07/27/03, 07:42 AM
anyone got a good title for this song?
BuriedAlive
07/27/03, 05:43 PM
bump
BuriedAlive
12/27/03, 06:31 AM
another one of my older songs for you guys to read.