One Hundred Manuscripts

[CellarGhosts]

=================================== ===========================
One Hundred Manuscripts

Just across this anguished pasture, the sun is sinking behind purple hills
Painting shades of red and orange across the grass
While the dew is sleeping soundly on each sorrowful little blade
I'll be turning in my emotions for the hundredth time
I'll be cutting up pages, fashioned into a ransom note love letter
[Chorus]
West of wayward greetings, and west of wishful thoughts
I'm littering these words across empty lots
Well I'm losing, but it almost feels okay, sleeping on this train
Summoned to sleep by the soft drumming of the rain

Clouds rolling drunkenly across the pictueresque landscape before me
Silent brooks trickle by, whispering sweet nothings to the ground
In the echoes of the hours passed, in the golden frames of memories
I've found another way to confess these conflicting feelings
[Chorus]
West of wistful lullabies, and west of worried phrase
I'll be running my soul out on display
Well I'm retruning, and it almost feels the same, leaning on these thoughts
Lost in broken fences and dreams we sought

[Bridge]
Lines along the highway, blending into one electric stream
Rushing by, through the clouded glass
Roads less traveled and miles counted off fill up the time
Well they fill up all the time we pass

Pictures haunting empty tunnels we dug with our own tounge
Wish that I could undo all those mistakes
Sleep blankets me as I drift into a silent movie dream
For the one hundredth time this week
I wish you could read these words and finally get the picture
[Chorus]
West of wayward greetings, and west of wishful thoughts
I'm littering these words across empty lots
Well I'm losing, but it almost feels okay, sleeping on this train
In the end, I guess it always feels the same

West of rainy countrysides and past the slamming doors
One hundred manuscripts lay scattered across the floor
=================================== ================================
Notes: Inspired by these two things:
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l89/JimmyEatAlkaline/wowzers.jpg
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l89/JimmyEatAlkaline/sunsetaftermoomie2222.jpg

[villevalo1666]

................

oh my god.

that's all I can say.

this is amazzzzzziiiinnnnggggggggggg

holy shit.

are you in a band? b/c this would be such a great song...i'm not kidding.

i could hear the band (well, my band) and I playing this in my head, down to even the exact time...(4:4, to be exact! haha...) but OHMAHGOWDDDD!!!!




p.s. is that a picture of your girlfriend?
if so, she's pretty! :-)

[CellarGhosts]

................

oh my god.

that's all I can say.

this is amazzzzzziiiinnnnggggggggggg

holy shit.

are you in a band? b/c this would be such a great song...i'm not kidding.

i could hear the band (well, my band) and I playing this in my head, down to even the exact time...(4:4, to be exact! haha...) but OHMAHGOWDDDD!!!!




p.s. is that a picture of your girlfriend?
if so, she's pretty! :-)
Hahahaha, thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it so much. No, I'm not currently in a band, but I'm looking to get one started. It's difficult work haha

And alas, no, she isn't my girlfriend...yet! Haha but really, she's an amazing friend, a wondeful person, and just...ya know...everything a guy could want haha
So her and I could quite possibly together very soon. ;)

[as_we_learn]

dude this rules man. flow and imagery on point good job. man two days of no AP feels like forever

[villevalo1666]

dude this rules man. flow and imagery on point good job. man two days of no AP feels like forever


i know what you mean......

i've been busy all yesterday and today,

and it feels like a long time from the compy.


***********

that's cool about your friend!

i hope you two get together, i think you would be very happy.

for me, relationships have never been all that successful.

they all end in turmoil.




so i think i'm gunna end up an old maid.

[CellarGhosts]

dude this rules man. flow and imagery on point good job. man two days of no AP feels like forever
Thank you very much, man. And yeah, two days without AP was....*shudders* hahaha okay so its not that bad...but yeah it does feel like its been a while now. but Im glad its back. Cheers! haha

[CellarGhosts]

i know what you mean......

i've been busy all yesterday and today,

and it feels like a long time from the compy.


***********

that's cool about your friend!

i hope you two get together, i think you would be very happy.

for me, relationships have never been all that successful.

they all end in turmoil.



so i think i'm gunna end up an old maid.
Thanks. I hope her and I get together as well. Extreme happiness would ensue haha. Latley I've been in a sort of wistful/lovesteruck mood haha...so expect some mushy shit from me in the next couple of days, ...now and then, anyway haha.
Sorry that relationships have never been good for you. Sucks, dosent it?

[CellarGhosts]

that's cool about your friend!

i hope you two get together, i think you would be very happy.

Ok, I know, I already replied to that, but I was thinking...do you think it'd be a good idea to write something else like, you know "about her" and let her read it? (of course, it'd be modest, and toned down, and not all lovey dovey. but still "sweet") haha I dunno...seems like it might not be a good idea...but then again, it might work. thoughts? haha I know...everyone is gonna be annoyed as hell with me for the next few days with me being all happy happy joy joy like this but what the hell haha
thanks

[a speedo model]

Fantastic

[CellarGhosts]

Fantastic
thank you very much, man.

[apoemtothedead]

100 too many.

[RomeoAGoGo]

You people need better taste.

Stuff that's unneccesary/needs to be removed/adds nothing to the poem

=================================== ===========================
One Hundred Manuscripts

Just across this anguished pasture, the sun is sinking behind purple hills
Painting shades of red and orange across the grass
While the dew is sleeping soundly on each sorrowful little blade
I'll be turning in my emotions for the hundredth time
I'll be cutting up pages, fashioned into a ransom note love letter
[Chorus]
West of wayward greetings, and west of wishful thoughts
I'm littering these words across empty lots
Well I'm losing, but it almost feels okay, sleeping on this train
Summoned to sleep by the soft drumming of the rain

Clouds rolling drunkenly across the pictueresque landscape before me
Silent brooks trickle by, whispering sweet nothings to the ground
In the echoes of the hours passed, in the golden frames of memories
I've found another way to confess these conflicting feelings
[Chorus]
West of wistful lullabies, and west of worried phrase
I'll be running my soul out on display
Well I'm retruning, and it almost feels the same, leaning on these thoughts
Lost in broken fences and dreams we sought


Lines along the highway, blending into one electric stream
Rushing by[B], <--this comma through the clouded glass
Roads less traveled and miles counted off fill up the time
Well they fill up all the time we pass

Pictures haunting empty tunnels we dug with our own tounge <--doesn''t even make sense
Wish that I could undo all those mistakes
Sleep blankets me as I drift into a silent movie dream
For the one hundredth time this week
I wish you could read these words and finally get the picture
[Chorus]
West of wayward greetings, and west of wishful thoughts
I'm littering these words across empty lots
Well I'm losing, but it almost feels okay, sleeping on this train
In the end, I guess it always feels the same

West of rainy countrysides and past the slamming doors
One hundred manuscripts lay scattered across the floor
=================================== ================================
Notes: Inspired by these two things:
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l89/JimmyEatAlkaline/wowzers.jpg

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l89/JimmyEatAlkaline/sunsetaftermoomie2222.jpg



This was really bad.

[CellarGhosts]

You people need better taste.

Stuff that's unneccesary/needs to be removed/adds nothing to the poem




This was really bad.
Well, sorry you think that way. I guess you're entitled to your own opinion, but I still really like this piece, and I'm stickin by it. The other one you said sucked, sure, that one needed work, but I'm still proud of this one. Oh well...

[thecurerocks182]

Hmmm... I didn't think it was terrible, but it wasn't my favourite that i have read from you. I think that your problem is that you are more concerned about imagery then meaning and form combined. Your verbose style slash plethoric use of imagery seems to overpower your works.... just remember that there is more to writing than just imagery. Perhaps, try writing a simplistic verse and then adding the imagery afterward or simply toning it down. Also, try to consider what you think is necessary for the piece then excise those that seem of no importance. You want to be as concise as possible, which is your recurring problem.

Anyways, sorry for the ramble. If you have time please check out my song not far below this. thanks.

[CellarGhosts]

Hmmm... I didn't think it was terrible, but it wasn't my favourite that i have read from you. I think that your problem is that you are more concerned about imagery then meaning and form combined. Your verbose style slash plethoric use of imagery seems to overpower your works.... just remember that there is more to writing than just imagery. Perhaps, try writing a simplistic verse and then adding the imagery afterward or simply toning it down. Also, try to consider what you think is necessary for the piece then excise those that seem of no importance. You want to be as concise as possible, which is your recurring problem.

Anyways, sorry for the ramble. If you have time please check out my song not far below this. thanks.
Okay, thanks man. I see exactly what you're saying. I do, no doubt, get carried away with imagery. It's just that older pieces of mine were often criticized as being too simple, or bland, so I guess I try a little too hard sometimes to spice shit up. But thanks again, I'll definatley keep that in mind. And off I go to read your song...

[xsxarexsoxscene]

lol love the shameless self-promotion.

The piece is not too shabby either ;)

For real though, I liked it. I'm a sucker for imagery and you nailed it.

I hope you get the girl :)

[CellarGhosts]

Haha thanks. I'm still pretty proud of this one, despite the over-use of imagery in it. But oh well. It was fun haha