Through the looking glass

[GREENatarisDAY]

no certain structure was put into this song i just wrote what came to my mind, its a little different from most of my songs once again but i think you people will like this one


Through the looking glass
I see you, trying to kill the past
you’re walking in an empty room
waiting for your victim
to come through the door
choke on your lies
fall through your hole
you’ll conceal your disguise
and claim what you stole

But you’ll never get away
and don’t think they wont
fail to see
So start burning the pictures
blur the images
and start faking what you
are trying to be

The time has come
for this glass to break
the pieces on the floor
are of everything you fake
no one became a victim
and your past was never killed
it lay there in the shallows
only to rise
and surprise the ones
who witness it respawn

[distantwhite]

I like this alot

good job


robbie

[GREENatarisDAY]

FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDBACK


feedback=good :)

[GREENatarisDAY]

Feedback:)

[GREENatarisDAY]

BUMP



really want more suggestions or comments on this one

[wewin]

Through the looking glass a looking glass is a mirror. unless you're making a reference to lewis carrol's book, i wouldn't use this phrase. it's too closely related to someone else's work.
I see you, trying to kill the past
you’re walking in an empty room
waiting for your victim
to come through the door
choke on your lies cliche. choking on lies. eww.
fall through your hole
you’ll conceal your disguise
and claim what you stole by stealing something, you've already claimed it.

But you’ll never get away
and don’t think they wont
fail to see see what? incomplete thought...? [B]
So start burning the pictures
blur the images
and start faking what you
are trying to be [B] since you can't change truly change your identity that you should fake it instead of owning up? is that what this passage means?

The time has come
for this glass to break
the pieces on the floor
are of everything you fake
no one became a victim
and your past was never killed
it lay there in the shallows
only to rise
and surprise the ones
who witness it respawn flat ending.

i'm glad that this song wasn't a bad boy meets girl song. i think that this idea, though overrused, is a strong idea. this song just doesn't have any hooks, nothing to reel me in. nothing clever or new or strong or interesting to make this song stand out. sorry, but that's what i think.