mew7265
03/07/07, 09:50 PM
So I wrote this for my poetry class last semester, and am looking for feedback on it. Be honest and let me know what you think.
Neverland
I'll be your little Tinkerbell.
Your little fairy sweetheart,
Tiny and mysterious,
Almost like the fireflies
Bursting with eagerness
Only to grab your attention.
And you?
You can be my Peter-
Pan that is.
Because growing up
Is for suckers.
And I know that
You really don't want to.
We can fly away,
Off to Neverland.
Oh, it must be better
Than this silly place
Full of drunkards and school books.
Will you give me a thimble
If I give you a kiss?
Oh, please do.
Then my heart will flutter
Just as my wings do.
And we can lay beneath
The dark night sky
And drift into dreams
As our eyes become too heavy
To keep open.
Neverland
I'll be your little Tinkerbell.
Your little fairy sweetheart,
Tiny and mysterious,
Almost like the fireflies
Bursting with eagerness
Only to grab your attention.
And you?
You can be my Peter-
Pan that is.
Because growing up
Is for suckers.
And I know that
You really don't want to.
We can fly away,
Off to Neverland.
Oh, it must be better
Than this silly place
Full of drunkards and school books.
Will you give me a thimble
If I give you a kiss?
Oh, please do.
Then my heart will flutter
Just as my wings do.
And we can lay beneath
The dark night sky
And drift into dreams
As our eyes become too heavy
To keep open.