Sunset on Tomorrow

[bleedperfection]

Sunset on Tomorrow

Indigent house guests set on leaving,
Through our heads and out the ceiling,
Letters wrote for need of healing,
Your the first to go on this enchanted evening,
But the nights so long,
Sorry to keep you waiting,
Tomorrow seems so inviting,

Broken locks with hidden horrors,
ou'll win their hearts but loss your own,
With shaking hands I try to comprehend,
This hunk of metal could make me slip past tomorrow,
And broken bottles never lie,
Your eyes have lost what I loved inside,
Red and green make me sick,
As gray rains down on the back of my neck,

Should your hand still be twitching?
I'm so new to this smell
And the blood stained on the back of my hands,
Your child like face seems so different now,
A beautiful loss of innocence,
Leaves me screaming at a hollow shell,
Now I'm point the trigger,
Time to make the moon light red,
Maybe one more PS,
The nights so long,
Baby just keep waiting,
My trigger finger has a bit of hesitation,
Maybe tomorrow,
Tomorrow is full of maybes.

[BuriedAlive]

wow. its the best piece so far by you. but the only flaw is i think you rhymed a little too much in the beginning and the last verse could use a little bit of spicing up.

[Korvans]

lol there's no wrong or right way to write lyrics - they're expressions of thoughts. They don't have to be this or that - they're whatever the person feels like writing down at the time.

[bleedperfection]

Thanks i'll work on those things and yes writing is about ones own ideas
Never seek perfection

[BuriedAlive]

i said nothing about perfection. i told you were i think you needed help. there might not be a right or wrong way to write but there is a right or wrong way to write good lyrics. and with where i told him he needed help will help the song become better.

[bleedperfection]

No i really like the ideas and reaction
And i thank u for taking the time to read my stuff keep up ur own great work

[BuriedAlive]

thanks, i will try to keep it up man. you keep writing so i can read.

[proeuthanasia]

excellent. i can honestly say that i love this song. and you want to know why? because it's different. song after song gets posted in this forum and they all sound the same. while these lyrics may have the same idea as the others...it is written in a way that just...makes it....so much more emotional or soemthing. i can't put a finger on it. but it's a great piece of work. you have talent. keep it up.